scary and new
Have you ever been in one of the situations where you have this feeling that what you're doing is entirely necessary, but a little bit frightening all the same?
For a couple of months now I've been subscribing to dating sites, mostly out of this nagging feeling of loneliness and missing something in my life, and knowing that I can't get what I want in real life. Finding someone at school is not really an option. There aren't that many really hot people there to begin with, and when you put in factors like intelligence and maturity the count goes down to roughly zero, at least among the people that I've met so far. That, or they're just way out of my league so I shouldn't even bother. With this in mind, I finally got frustrated with my perpetually single life about a month or so ago. I just that it's stupid for me to be 18 years old and to have never ever had a boyfriend or girlfriend at any point in my life. I mean I've been around, but I've never actually had anything worthwhile. So off to the internet I went, hopefully to find someone that can have at least a balance of personality and looks. I'm not looking for a supermodel, but they at least have to be somewhat intelligent. An intellectual would be awesome, but I'd like them to be attractive too.
And surprisingly, after only searching for a couple weeks or so, I found a guy that kinda fits the bill. He lives here in Fresno, he's in college but he's only a couple of months older than me. He's smart, and interesting, and even kinda cute. Even more shocking, he's actually interested in me too. We've been talking to each other over email for a few weeks now, and I think through the little bit that I know about him, I like what I see.
This is awesome, but it brings a couple of scary things to light. First of all, the whole "Holy crap i'm trying to hook up with someone from the internet" thing. I've met people from the internet before, so I have a grasp on how really fucking ass bizarre it is to be talking face to face to someone that you've only met a few minutes ago but who you already know so much about. I'm wondering what's going to happen if I choose to meet this guy in person. He seems nice enough, and he doesn't give out blasting waves of psychotic intervention. Plus, it was me that contacted him on a random look at his profile, so he's probably not stalking me. He just seems like a nice, slightly geeky but otherwise normal guy. And since I'm not hypocritical enough to judge someone on being a geek, that's a-okay by me. But still, I have to wonder. What happens if I meet him? Will we automatically connect and form true love? Will he turn out to be a creepy aqualung-type guy who is nothing like he says he is? Or (much more likely) Will we sit there after saying hello to each other and shortly realize that this whole meeting people from the internet thing is way more awkward than either of us were led to believe. Either way, I feel like I should take the chance. He isn't giving me anything that makes me wanna back off of him, and on top of that I'm really tired of having nowhere to go on a friday or saturday night, no one to cuddle up and watch a movie with and no one to even just share the joy of getting laid on a regular basis.
blegh.
For a couple of months now I've been subscribing to dating sites, mostly out of this nagging feeling of loneliness and missing something in my life, and knowing that I can't get what I want in real life. Finding someone at school is not really an option. There aren't that many really hot people there to begin with, and when you put in factors like intelligence and maturity the count goes down to roughly zero, at least among the people that I've met so far. That, or they're just way out of my league so I shouldn't even bother. With this in mind, I finally got frustrated with my perpetually single life about a month or so ago. I just that it's stupid for me to be 18 years old and to have never ever had a boyfriend or girlfriend at any point in my life. I mean I've been around, but I've never actually had anything worthwhile. So off to the internet I went, hopefully to find someone that can have at least a balance of personality and looks. I'm not looking for a supermodel, but they at least have to be somewhat intelligent. An intellectual would be awesome, but I'd like them to be attractive too.
And surprisingly, after only searching for a couple weeks or so, I found a guy that kinda fits the bill. He lives here in Fresno, he's in college but he's only a couple of months older than me. He's smart, and interesting, and even kinda cute. Even more shocking, he's actually interested in me too. We've been talking to each other over email for a few weeks now, and I think through the little bit that I know about him, I like what I see.
This is awesome, but it brings a couple of scary things to light. First of all, the whole "Holy crap i'm trying to hook up with someone from the internet" thing. I've met people from the internet before, so I have a grasp on how really fucking ass bizarre it is to be talking face to face to someone that you've only met a few minutes ago but who you already know so much about. I'm wondering what's going to happen if I choose to meet this guy in person. He seems nice enough, and he doesn't give out blasting waves of psychotic intervention. Plus, it was me that contacted him on a random look at his profile, so he's probably not stalking me. He just seems like a nice, slightly geeky but otherwise normal guy. And since I'm not hypocritical enough to judge someone on being a geek, that's a-okay by me. But still, I have to wonder. What happens if I meet him? Will we automatically connect and form true love? Will he turn out to be a creepy aqualung-type guy who is nothing like he says he is? Or (much more likely) Will we sit there after saying hello to each other and shortly realize that this whole meeting people from the internet thing is way more awkward than either of us were led to believe. Either way, I feel like I should take the chance. He isn't giving me anything that makes me wanna back off of him, and on top of that I'm really tired of having nowhere to go on a friday or saturday night, no one to cuddle up and watch a movie with and no one to even just share the joy of getting laid on a regular basis.
blegh.