Grocery Shopping

[banshee1067]

After a day of lethargy, I finished off the remaining Rolling Rock with nary a buzz, so I kipped to the supermarket for a pint of Canadian Club and some Diet Coke. "The last of the liquor", I tell myself

Comments

[eriktrips]

actually, you are a good writer. it's strange I never said anything before, but I read your posts from top to bottom when most posts as long as yours can't sustain my interest past the second paragraph, unless written by very good friends or very good writers. you do a tremendous job of putting your own agony in words.

I don't know if that is at all useful, though. I used to write long posts full of eloquent distress on alt.support.depression and I'd get a lot of comments like "wow you really put into words exactly how I feel. thanks!" when what I really needed was for someone to come over and put their arms around me and rock me back and forth.

I will say this: you are trapped in your own head. writing is one good way of working through that, if you know you have readers you can trust, but if that's all you do, and only for people you never meet, it's going to be a long haul. I still think finding someone to talk to would be a really good thing, if you could find someone nonjudgmental, without an agenda, who can listen and help you to untangle where all the voices in your head are coming from. there's still a sizable glint of genuine compassion in you, which is really admirable considering how hard your father worked to kill it. without that, we cease to be human and start to turn into monsters, which, unfortunately, is an all-too-common occurrence. people think that monsters are rare, when many of them are already well on their way.

I hope that the human part of you survives. and I do think that finding someone in face-to-face life to let that part speak to of the many demons which assail it could be a very good thing.

[banshee1067]

Thank you for your compliments...they help a lot, honestly.