Poop is some funny shit!
I had an appointment at the hand doctor this morning and he was running late. I had my current read with me... "Me Talk Pretty One Day" by David Sedaris. I have issues with inappropriate laughter... church... funerals... and apparently Doctors offices filled with old people with pinched expressions and silences punctuated with lip smacking. I also have a sense of humor to rival the sophistication of any 11-12 year old boy. I find bathroom humor hysterical. That said, I had the misfortune of reading a story about poop while in a public situation where rolling on the floor, tears streaming down your face laughter was not appropriate. I had the teetering on the edge of madness laughter, when I try to contain it, the strangled noises I make set me off further. I had to shut the book and my eyes and do breathing exercises. I put my head to my chest and thought of dead puppies sacrificed by Republicans in the name of organized religion. I couldn't make eye contact with anyone. I am sure that I resembled on of those "special" folks that you always hear of that ride the subways in NY and have large collections of used tin foil. It was a personal triumph that nobody moved to a seat further away from me.
I am on my third knitting emergency since Thursday. By emergency I mean a trip to the store for a one on one intervention is necessary. My newest blunder is my finest yet. I tried to repair a mistake myself and employed what they refer to as un-knitting. Well the problem is now many tiered and might take even the pro's a minute to figure out. I have to have 24 inches done by Thursday and I maybe have 12. It isn't that I lack the motivation to knit, I would do it for hours if I could, but I keep fucking it up and can't progress without driving to the store to have them fix my mishap. I didn't realize that I was going to have to factor gas and mileage into the final cost of the sweater.
I am on my third knitting emergency since Thursday. By emergency I mean a trip to the store for a one on one intervention is necessary. My newest blunder is my finest yet. I tried to repair a mistake myself and employed what they refer to as un-knitting. Well the problem is now many tiered and might take even the pro's a minute to figure out. I have to have 24 inches done by Thursday and I maybe have 12. It isn't that I lack the motivation to knit, I would do it for hours if I could, but I keep fucking it up and can't progress without driving to the store to have them fix my mishap. I didn't realize that I was going to have to factor gas and mileage into the final cost of the sweater.