in other news.
I broke up with Jim.
Not sure how to feel about it at this point... but the main emotions are:
freedom relaxation anger deception
freedom: the need for Single air has become an obsession since THE ex. I was smothered
choking
cringing at his touch
felt like grabbing, pulling
pulling me into this mold of a girlfriend
that I didn't want to be in.
relaxation: I can be myself.
Love myself. I don't answer to anyone.
I can see my friends (and new men...) without a need to explain.
anger: starting over is hard to do
especially twice! in one year.
I lost two close friends in this break
which technically is with one but feels like three
and I'm afraid I can't get those persons back.
deception: these two friends and I have hung out
multiple times without the Jim.
Many laughs
car rides
dinners, drinks, fun
you name it we had it.
It was to the point where us three
would become one under one House as three roommates.
So deception you see... fits nicely when I say they are lost to me.
Gone. Not responding to my cries
or the pain of which I feel.
I have a date this Saturday with an guy I met
coincidentally through Jim
but quite by accident.
I didn't mean to like this guy as fast as I did.
No worries! I am not rushing
head first into something I cannot handle.
Slow & steady wins the race.
The connection is there
you see, if you could that is, and he is like me
in humor
music
goals. I am excited and nervous for this Saturday
although I have a feeling
everything!
will be alright.
Not sure how to feel about it at this point... but the main emotions are:
freedom relaxation anger deception
freedom: the need for Single air has become an obsession since THE ex. I was smothered
choking
cringing at his touch
felt like grabbing, pulling
pulling me into this mold of a girlfriend
that I didn't want to be in.
relaxation: I can be myself.
Love myself. I don't answer to anyone.
I can see my friends (and new men...) without a need to explain.
anger: starting over is hard to do
especially twice! in one year.
I lost two close friends in this break
which technically is with one but feels like three
and I'm afraid I can't get those persons back.
deception: these two friends and I have hung out
multiple times without the Jim.
Many laughs
car rides
dinners, drinks, fun
you name it we had it.
It was to the point where us three
would become one under one House as three roommates.
So deception you see... fits nicely when I say they are lost to me.
Gone. Not responding to my cries
or the pain of which I feel.
I have a date this Saturday with an guy I met
coincidentally through Jim
but quite by accident.
I didn't mean to like this guy as fast as I did.
No worries! I am not rushing
head first into something I cannot handle.
Slow & steady wins the race.
The connection is there
you see, if you could that is, and he is like me
in humor
music
goals. I am excited and nervous for this Saturday
although I have a feeling
everything!
will be alright.