D.A.
Someone who once was close to me has become again...but only geographically speaking.
I realized today that there is one person in the world who no matter how much they may have changed or grown, I have no place in my life for. This person is attached to nearly every bad feeling/memory I have for several years running, and she was always always domineering and nearly emotionally abusive inside our friendship. I have been told that she has changed, things are different with her, etc. Somehow, I just can't make room for it, even though I do believe it. I am glad she found her way (or seemingly so) but I have no interest in being a part of her life, now or ever.
I have criticized others, and discussed how childish it is to hold grudges and such, but the emotional damage caused in this situation was a long running issue, and I think the damage went both ways. She was and most likely would again be a very destructive force in my life. All I can remember is the manipulation, lies, and the constant feeling that I was being taken advantage of in some way. I can allow myself to completely let go of the idea, It's not hate, though some may see it that way, it's not a passionate feeling. It's a general indifference toward her at this point, but also a little self preservation I think. Its just not worth emotion anymore.
She contacted my father. I am allowing him to make his own decision about talking to her, but with the understanding that the only time they are to discuss me is for him to tell her that I have no interest in reconnecting. I don't want her to know the details of my life anymore or ever again.
Is there something more final than goodbye?
I realized today that there is one person in the world who no matter how much they may have changed or grown, I have no place in my life for. This person is attached to nearly every bad feeling/memory I have for several years running, and she was always always domineering and nearly emotionally abusive inside our friendship. I have been told that she has changed, things are different with her, etc. Somehow, I just can't make room for it, even though I do believe it. I am glad she found her way (or seemingly so) but I have no interest in being a part of her life, now or ever.
I have criticized others, and discussed how childish it is to hold grudges and such, but the emotional damage caused in this situation was a long running issue, and I think the damage went both ways. She was and most likely would again be a very destructive force in my life. All I can remember is the manipulation, lies, and the constant feeling that I was being taken advantage of in some way. I can allow myself to completely let go of the idea, It's not hate, though some may see it that way, it's not a passionate feeling. It's a general indifference toward her at this point, but also a little self preservation I think. Its just not worth emotion anymore.
She contacted my father. I am allowing him to make his own decision about talking to her, but with the understanding that the only time they are to discuss me is for him to tell her that I have no interest in reconnecting. I don't want her to know the details of my life anymore or ever again.
Is there something more final than goodbye?