(no subject)
this morning i woke up at 7:30 to get prepared to bury my grandpa. it was strange...he has always been there, a constant part of my family's life. and today after about 1 p.m., he went out of our lives forever. of course there are memories, which to me is enough. i dont need to further perpetuate the idea of a god by hoping i'll see all my deceased loved ones in the land of wind and ghosts. being a cynical jerk is hard, but at least i know im no longer fooling myself. my first atheistic funeral...what a learning experience. it didn't downplay my grandpa's death at all. being an atheist actually makes me appreciate what i have now alot more. i let him slip away from me before i had a chance to gain even a fraction of the wisdom i should have. now i know it would be wreckless to make the same mistake again. i just need to kick the last of this apathy from my life, and i think i'll finally be where i should.
well...in other news, i haven't updated this journal in months....so here it goes. i got an apartment, and i've been living there for about 7 months now. biggest learning experience of my life. travis and i get along almost too well, making it hard to do anything other than hang out at my place. which i guess i should. other than that im still stuck in the mosh-pit of consumerism known as wal-mart. if i didnt get paid as well as i do, i wouldve left a long time ago. but 9 bucks an hour sure is tempting when your 21.
i've been to some of the best shows of my life in the last few months also. i got to see superdrag in austin. not only did they dedicate one of my favorite songs to me, i also got to play tamborine on expanding my mind. whoa. that was a mind blow. also i discovered a little band known as dillinger four, which i now play mercilessly. i never had a band make me love punk music as much as these guys. i got to see them twice in one week at sxsw, both shows involving me crushed against the stage, extremely drunk, and rocking out like i never have before. and st. patrick (my new idol) getting completely naked in front of me and encouraging me to slap his ass. pure pleasure. hah. also lagwagon was at the second show, and if you happen to come across their new album "blaze" pick it up, burn it, steal it, whatever. it is amazing.
and as always, girls are my constant bane. one second they hate me, the next they love me, the next theyre trying to get in my pants, and then they disappear again. the timing never seems to be right for me. damn my high standards and lack of Fonze grace.
ive gone on long enough.
well...in other news, i haven't updated this journal in months....so here it goes. i got an apartment, and i've been living there for about 7 months now. biggest learning experience of my life. travis and i get along almost too well, making it hard to do anything other than hang out at my place. which i guess i should. other than that im still stuck in the mosh-pit of consumerism known as wal-mart. if i didnt get paid as well as i do, i wouldve left a long time ago. but 9 bucks an hour sure is tempting when your 21.
i've been to some of the best shows of my life in the last few months also. i got to see superdrag in austin. not only did they dedicate one of my favorite songs to me, i also got to play tamborine on expanding my mind. whoa. that was a mind blow. also i discovered a little band known as dillinger four, which i now play mercilessly. i never had a band make me love punk music as much as these guys. i got to see them twice in one week at sxsw, both shows involving me crushed against the stage, extremely drunk, and rocking out like i never have before. and st. patrick (my new idol) getting completely naked in front of me and encouraging me to slap his ass. pure pleasure. hah. also lagwagon was at the second show, and if you happen to come across their new album "blaze" pick it up, burn it, steal it, whatever. it is amazing.
and as always, girls are my constant bane. one second they hate me, the next they love me, the next theyre trying to get in my pants, and then they disappear again. the timing never seems to be right for me. damn my high standards and lack of Fonze grace.
ive gone on long enough.