Aug 31, 2005 02:38
it'll be fascinating to see how the situation turns out. i feel displeased all of the time, now that i think about it i don;t rememeber the last time i was ever "pleased" about anything. it was probably sometime in between my first date with casey and my A- in psychology which is somewhere between september and december of last year. i wish i wasn't so unhappy with everything.
things i'm despleased about:
1. my weight
2. the pimple on my cheeck
3. the fact that im broke
4. the fact that i'm always lonely
5. i haven't felt pretty for a while now...
6. never graduated high school
7. probably won't graduate college
8. i'm totally apathetic
9. i hate my art
10. i have to my zoloft just to function
11. i'm lonely
12. lonely
13. so lonely
14. still lonely
15. my boss is an asshole
i always say that part of being independent is being able to be by yourself. just accepting that being independent is lonely and being ok with that i suppose...i don't think iv'e mastered it yet. allana's going to prague. i have my mother still (who at this point wants to kick me out on the 22nd) at least with allana i could at least call her when i was displeased and she would cheer me up. i won't have that for long. prague. i don't know why i feel so tied down here. i wish i could move to europe. even if i had the money i think i would be to scared to do it...i hate myself for just that. being terrified of everything and displeased about everything. who will put up with me?