[CT] 06.1 - Faithful
Coming back almost feels harder than leaving.
Almost.
Leaving was sudden, a shock to the system as everything seemed to just close up around her. It swallowed her whole and left the heels of her hands sore from pounding a wall that never gave. The distance was more than vast it was permanent and it sliced through her without remorse, without regret, without looking at the girl that it was hurting as she stood there silently begging the world to just swallow her up the rest of the way. That the ground could shake and split a chasm open and she'd be really as alone as she felt.
Leaving had been hard.
Coming back felt impossible.
Years of effort, tireless and never ending for it all to culminate into a rush of events that seemed to be so sudden. Then she was there. It was him and he was there. Brown pinstripe suit and that same smile that she could see was true and honest just by the way it shone in his eyes. Then just like that it was the same. First trip out and they were running through hallways and getting trapped in dark damp corners of places Rose had only imagined existing. Her heart racing and breath coming in shallow gasps as her hand slipped into his just as she thought it was meant to be. Back to the TARDIS, back to the stream of time where they'd just move onto the next point along the way.
Though as she moved through the TARDIS she had to wonder, even if she didn't want to, about what had gone on while she hadn't been there. Her hands run against the walls and she breathes in deeply trying to realize that she wouldn't have wanted him to be alone. Him traveling all that distance alone would've been the last thing she'd have wanted. Yet she still aches to think of who could've shared the space that she had taken a hold of so deeply before.
Rose thought she fit, that she belonged and with the smallest twinge of jealousy she thought that no one could fit the way she did. No one could make him smile the way she did, or spark that laugh from him with a simple glance. As she circled around the console, her fingers skimmed over the panel that she'd ripped open... exposing the Heart of the TARDIS to her. Fingertips pulled away from it, knowing that it was something she shared with the ship. Something she was allowed to have within her... a part of time that was forever bonded to her.
No one fit like she did.
There was no way it was even possible.
Yet... he hadn't been alone. The archives listed it all. Rose didn't want to know, she didn't want to hear of the times he came so close to dying, or that she... it had been a she... had to save him. Deep staggered breaths came into her lungs as she read of the bravery, of the sheer heroism that the girl he chose had in her. Fearless and smart... so smart, and he'd chosen her. It made her special.
Just like he'd chosen her all those years ago.
She'd never have wanted him to be alone, but she just wishes maybe he hadn't have been so happy without her.
Almost.
Leaving was sudden, a shock to the system as everything seemed to just close up around her. It swallowed her whole and left the heels of her hands sore from pounding a wall that never gave. The distance was more than vast it was permanent and it sliced through her without remorse, without regret, without looking at the girl that it was hurting as she stood there silently begging the world to just swallow her up the rest of the way. That the ground could shake and split a chasm open and she'd be really as alone as she felt.
Leaving had been hard.
Coming back felt impossible.
Years of effort, tireless and never ending for it all to culminate into a rush of events that seemed to be so sudden. Then she was there. It was him and he was there. Brown pinstripe suit and that same smile that she could see was true and honest just by the way it shone in his eyes. Then just like that it was the same. First trip out and they were running through hallways and getting trapped in dark damp corners of places Rose had only imagined existing. Her heart racing and breath coming in shallow gasps as her hand slipped into his just as she thought it was meant to be. Back to the TARDIS, back to the stream of time where they'd just move onto the next point along the way.
Though as she moved through the TARDIS she had to wonder, even if she didn't want to, about what had gone on while she hadn't been there. Her hands run against the walls and she breathes in deeply trying to realize that she wouldn't have wanted him to be alone. Him traveling all that distance alone would've been the last thing she'd have wanted. Yet she still aches to think of who could've shared the space that she had taken a hold of so deeply before.
Rose thought she fit, that she belonged and with the smallest twinge of jealousy she thought that no one could fit the way she did. No one could make him smile the way she did, or spark that laugh from him with a simple glance. As she circled around the console, her fingers skimmed over the panel that she'd ripped open... exposing the Heart of the TARDIS to her. Fingertips pulled away from it, knowing that it was something she shared with the ship. Something she was allowed to have within her... a part of time that was forever bonded to her.
No one fit like she did.
There was no way it was even possible.
Yet... he hadn't been alone. The archives listed it all. Rose didn't want to know, she didn't want to hear of the times he came so close to dying, or that she... it had been a she... had to save him. Deep staggered breaths came into her lungs as she read of the bravery, of the sheer heroism that the girl he chose had in her. Fearless and smart... so smart, and he'd chosen her. It made her special.
Just like he'd chosen her all those years ago.
She'd never have wanted him to be alone, but she just wishes maybe he hadn't have been so happy without her.