drama
today was ever so dramatic and i hated it. i said "have positive feelings. be positive" but noo all you loosers are gay and made my afernoon suck. i had a great day at school, a wonderful one actually. i got out early and went home with desiree then we went tanning. wooh! then i came home and talked to james for like 2 hours! woah i love this kido! ne ways he is very sweet. nick dont want him talking to me. he thinks im a liar and shit but whatever, i dont care what nick thinks because james is the one who matters. well ne ways,heidi hates me. sucha bummer.josh lied to me another bummer. and now what. well im not sure. i think that secretly lauren is upset at me and i think that a few other people who i trust talk shit about me. honestly the only people i love and trust are desiree and kimmy. the two sweetest people in the world. weve been great friends for as long as i can remeber and theyre always here for me. im glad. ne ways im upset. everything seems like its just falling apart and i cant stop it. =/ its sad. very sad. i dont know. i think ill just focus on school and forget every1..i think its possible that for once every1 might forget to talk about me neagtively if i "disappear". no1 understands me ne more.i dont even understand me ne more.god man. i think what i need to do is lay down and look at the things im doing and the people im surrounding my self with. maybe this will help me sort some things out. who knows. lifes tough then u die so oh well.i miss andy too. i think ill call him he always makes me happy. actually i have alot of missed calls. i think ill call every1 back then take a sleeping pill so i can actually get some sleep for once. did u know that too many sleeping pills can kill you. i wonder what wud happen if i died. not that i plan on it happening any time soon i just ya kno wonder and stuff. oh well. i really have to go..
xO n*cOle
xO n*cOle