Louder Than Thunder [13]
Title: Louder Than Thunder [13]
Author: Jess>>>> bangxbangxdie7
Pairing:Micah/Jack and Stevie/Shaun *Original characters (link below)
Rating: PG-13ish
POV: Third
Summary: Micah and Shaun are two totally different guys with very different lives. One thing they share is a boyfriend with cancer. When they meet, they help each other cope even though they sometimes feel guilty about it...
Disclaimer: Don't own. Don't copy.
Author Note: Hey guys this is my new story =] I love you, and I hope you like it <33 Please comment?
Characters. / Info.
What would it take,
for things to be quiet,
quiet like the snow.
And I know this isn't much but...
I know I could be better.
I don't think I deserve it, selflessness.
Find your way into my heart.
All stars could be brighter.
All hearts could be warmer.
Are we meant to be empty handed?
Don't think about chances we're taking.
The list goes on and on...
Stevie chuckled. "Oh Shaun we both know you never were a boy scout..."
Stevie knew that Shaun wouldn't play by the rules unless directed to do so. Not that he was a cheater he just...liked to bend the rules to get what he wanted a lot. Stevie didn't blame him, he just called him out on his shit when he had to. Part of being in a long-term relationship; he got those privileges.
Besides, it was kind of cute to watch Shaun 'bend the rules' in every single game they played. Especially hide and seek. Shaun would always change his spot over and over again even though Stevie specifically told him to stay in one area. It made it that much more exciting to actually find the boy.
"No, not a boy scout. But when I was 12 I wanted to be a Brownie. My mom told me it was just for girls and I cried. I got over it though, obviously. But I still think it would totes be cool to be a Brownie."
Stevie blinked several times. "Did you just say 'totes', like, seriously?"
Shaun laughed and play-punched Stevie's shoulder. "Yeah it just kinda came out. Sorry. I tend to quote movies a lot don't I? But you love me anyway."
The older teen smiled hoping the younger would follow suit; which he did. "Yes of course, Shaun. I'll always love you and your silliness," he said with a grin. "So...since we're not gonna have sex we should come up with a different plan. I could call my mom or Mitch and ask them what they're doing for dinner, maybe we can go to Red Lobster," he said in a sing-song voice.
Shaun loved Red Lobster. He liked to look at the lobsters in the tank in the lobby where people walk in. Stevie nor anyone else had the heart to tell him that the same lobster he saw in the tank was the lobster that was in his plate. He was too naive to make the connection. What he didn't know wouldn't hurt him.
"Oh my gosh I LOVE that place. I like the lobsters with the pink bands on their claws. I like to think that those are the diva lobsters that run the tank. Don't judge me, it's probably true you know."
Stevie laughed as he searched for his cell phone. He knew why he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Shaun, and Shaun reminded him why every single day.
"Hey Mitch, I was just wondering what you and mom are planning for dinner? Oh...well, she's not home right now so maybe we could change plans a bit? I don't know I just thought maybe we could go out for a change. We haven't really...since I got sick. But I feel well enough to go. Okay, sounds good. Bye Mitch, see you later."
Shaun looked so cute with his little anticipation showing. "So, what's the plan?"
Stevie put his phone back in his pocket. "Mom was going to make veggie lasagna but she's not even here so...when she gets home I'll talk her out of it and we can go to Red Lobster. She'll say yes, she'd do anything to not cook. She is an amazing cook though...but like I said, we haven't gone out in forever."
Shaun frowned. "Because you're too sick. At least you feel good today. I feel better mentally when I know you feel good physically. If that makes any sense at all. And when you don't feel good I don't either. Just thought you might wanna know that. So you should just be better so we can both feel good all day every day, okay?"
The younger teen wrapped the older teen in his arms. He felt bad for Shaun; he felt bad for having to put him through the torture of having a sick boyfriend. Shaun deserved better. Stevie couldn't help his condition, but he still felt horrible about it. Shaun was having troubles dealing with it all and he knew it. And he also knew there was nothing he could do about it because it wasn't going away, at least not for a while.
"I'll do my best, sugarplum. Change of subject; much needed. Let's watch a movie till my mom gets home, you can pick out any movie you want. Just not the Little Mermaid, I think we've seen that one over 100 times."
Shaun pouted. "But I LOVE the Little Mermaid. Redheads are so rare. I mean I know she's not real but still. I just love looking at her long red hair flow in the water. Okay judging by the way you're looking at me...we'll watch something different. I've got an idea, you say three movies and I'll pick one out of the three to watch, deal?"
Stevie nodded. "Okay 1. White Chicks. 2. It's a Boy Girl Thing. 3. Aladdin."
Shaun scrunched up his face, he was mad that only one of those choices was a cartoon. "Uh, 3. We haven't watched Aladdin in a while and...he's kinda hot. For a fictional character anyway. Don't be jealous. Besides, I know how you feel about Link."
Stevie shook his head. "My crush on Link was so before I met you. And you only know about my crush on Link because you snooped through my draws and found stuff from like, middle school. You nosy little cute-thing, you."
"You know who else is hot, Xandir from Drawn Together. I'd do him, AND he's actually gay. Can we have a threesome with someone who looks like him? I'm kidding you can stop with the evil glare Stevie, thank you."
Stevie was actually starting to think of other cartoon guys that were attractive and it started to freak him out, so he had to do something to make his lovely boyfriend shut his mouth.
"We can have this discussion some other time I...suppose, but for now let's just stick with the movie. And you try not to get your second boner of the day from Aladdin, all right?"
Shaun coughed. "Third. It would be my third. This morning- yeah. Just to be honest."
If they got married Stevie would be occupied for the majority of his day, thanks to Shaun. The boy was just full of surprises. Stevie always told himself that. He told himself all the time that Shaun was like the weather, so unpredictable. That made Shaun more exciting and more lovable. Stevie was glad that his boyfriend was more different and unique than anyone else in the world.
"Well thanks for being honest with me, baby. I do appreciate it. You're so cute when you tell the truth."
Shaun smiled and kissed Stevie softly. "You're so cute all the time. Even when you won't touch my peen, when I ask you nicely. You're still cute then. But don't you worry, 'cause like I said before, it won't be long. I can't wait to have you clawing at my feet. You just watch. Watch and see, and watch and learn," he said sitting down on Stevie's couch. "...well that last part didn't really make sense. But I always wanted to say that. I was just never presented the opportunity."
Stevie giggled and sat down next to his boyfriend. "Yeah I know the feeling. I always wanted to say 'I'm too drunk to taste this chicken,' you know from Talladega Nights...damn we watch way too much TV, Shaun. I bet we could quote any movie ever made."
Shaun shrugged. "Nothing wrong with that. We live in New York, there's only 3 and a half months of nice weather in this place and we both hate the cold. So what do we do when it's cold, rainy, or snowing? Watch movies, duh. Because it's inside and entertaining. We could stop watching TV, but then you'd just have to play even MORE board games with me."
Stevie smirked. "Or we could play video games. Like...Legend of Zelda," he snorted. "...sorry, babe, hook, line and sinker." He kissed his forehead. "God I love you."
~
Ian was looking at his brother with so much interest. It was a reunion he planned on never getting. He always thought that Jack was gone for good; out of the country or something. He thought he was off doing great things or saving lives but in actuality he was just lounging around at his house. It didn't seem like his brother at all.
"Ian this might be hard for you to hear. But you want the truth and that's what I'm going to give you. You may not like it. Scratch that, I know you definitely won't like it."
The older man took a breath before speaking again. "...I didn't run away, Ian. Mom and dad threw me out. You were young but I assume you remember that guy who helped me out after I fell off my bike, right?"
Ian nodded, scooting closer to his big brother. "Well, shortly after that whole thing happened I...started having feelings for him. And we got together. You know how mom and dad are. She flipped out and told me I was forbidden to see him. I wasn't going to listen to her, Micah saved my life, and I wanted to be with him. So as soon as I was almost old enough, she kicked me out. She told me that I couldn't come back or call unless I dumped him and got a girlfriend."
He saw the look his brother was giving him, and he realized his feelings were hurt. "And it's not that I didn't care enough about you or Lily to break up with him, it was more complicated than that. Do you understand what mom was asking me to do? She wanted me to completely change and ignore my sexuality. I would have had to live a lie for the rest of my life. I belonged with Micah. And I still do."
Ian leaned his back against the couch. "So, after all this time, you're still with him? I mean...he's like your life partner?"
Jack nodded. "Yeah. I love him, Ian. He's been so great to me. This is his house. He offered his home to me and took me in when no one else wanted me. He takes care of me and- he loves me. I...I hope my being gay doesn't change our relationship. Don't worry, no matter what mom says, the gay won't rub off on you."
Ian shakes his head. "Of course not, Jack. I just feel so sorry for you, because of how ridiculous mom and dad are. How could they do that? How could they just kick you out and not let you come back. Not even to see us? That's cruel. So what if you love a guy, who gives a shit? Sorry. I mean, it' crazy. Mom told me that you just left, when the truth is that it was her who forced you out. It's mean and wrong and she should be ashamed of herself." He put a comforting hand on his brothers forearm. "...I still love you Jack. You're still my big brother, my only brother. I still want a relationship with you. I'll come here every day in secret I don't care. I'll do whatever it takes. You have no idea how much I've missed you."
Jack's lip trembled as he smiled. "Thank you so much, Ian. You don't know how happy that makes me to hear that. I was worried that I wouldn't see you ever again. This is the best second chance I could ever imagine. So thank you so much for being here."
Ian only smiled bigger. "It's not a problem, Jack. There's no way I believed mom and dad's bull. I knew you wouldn't just leave us. And I'm sorry that you can't come back, but it's okay. I'll come visit all the time. If you want. We could go to baseball games and go see movies and go shopping and...and all the stuff we never got to do. We could pick up right where we left off."
Jack frowned internally because he knew he was way too sick to do most of the things his brother wanted to do. But he couldn't bring it up; the fact that he was sick. He saw how happy Ian was, he couldn't ruin it.
"Of course, I'd love that. That sounds great. And you can meet Micah sometime. He's at work until late today but next time you visit he'll be here. I know you'll like him, you'll probably like him better than me. I'll pay for your taxi's and stuff so don't worry. God, Ian, you have no idea how happy I am right now. Do you think you can stay for dinner or is mom still crazy about eating as a family?"
Ian sighed. "Still crazy. But it's okay, I'll come back tomorrow. Don't worry about the cab, it's covered. I have a job, I work at Cafe Gia's on the weekends. And I'm happy too. I know it won't happen soon but...maybe I can bring Lily over. Mom would freak if she found out but I'll just wait until they ask me to baby-sit or something. She misses you too. She doesn't know I'm here, and I don't think I can trust her yet, but I know you'd like to see her, right?"
Jack tried not to cry. He missed his baby sister so much. "I would. But if it's too risky, don't do it. I don't want you to get in trouble with mom. Then you'd never be able to come here again. So just be careful."
"I will. I've been careful this whole time trying to find you. I always wondered if mom was lying or not, but I didn't try to prove her wrong until recently. I knew I could get caught. I know I'm still a kid, but I'm smart enough to watch my back. You taught me that. You always told me to watch my back, but not to worry because you'd always be looking out for me."
Jack bit his lip. "I'm so sorry that I couldn't have been there for you all these years. This wasn't easy; leaving you. Leaving the whole family. There were days where I wanted to break up with Micah and come back home. I was almost willing to sacrifice my love life for the acceptance from mom and dad. But then I realized where my heart was. Micah never pushed me, and he never told me what to do. But he reminded me every day, just by loving me that I needed to stay here. I thought that mom would come around when-" he stopped himself from blabbing about his cancer. "..when I called her and told her I missed her. But she wouldn't give in.
"I still can't believe her. It's disgusting. I'm embarrassed to have her as a mother. I only 'pray' for her to get better, Jack. She needs to accept the fact that you are her oldest child, her first born. She should have a special bond with you and right now? She has nothing. And it's horrible, she should feel horrible. But she has a fake smile plastered on her face all the time. Nose deep in the bible every day, trying to tell me to have a better relationship with God. I embrace our religion and I believe in God but I don't believe that he hates you, Jack. And I don't think mom should have made you choose between your lover and your family. That's not fair."
Ian scooted even closer to his brother and lied his head on his chest. Jack put his arms around his baby brother and gave him a warm hug. He never knew his brother was such an amazing person. He didn't know this because he was deprived of it for so long. He could hate his parents for doing this to him. But he could never truly hate them. Hate wasn't in his nature. It never was.
"It's okay, Ian. I don't want you to feel sorry for me. From what I learned from all this...there is no reason to feel bad. It won't solve anything. What happened happened. But I do hope that someday I will be able to walk in our house and Lily will run up to me and give me a giant hug, mom will kiss my cheek and dad will look at me like I'm not a freak. I believe that it will happen, maybe not soon, but eventually. I've been praying. I pray every day. I prayed that I would see you again, and look. You're here right now. So it looks like things are turning around for me."
Jack just hoped that this meant that other things would start to brighten up for him. He wanted to believe that he would be cancer free someday. He wanted to see his family again and he wanted to be accepted. He knew it was a long stretch but he would not stop praying.
It was very sad for the older boy to say goodbye to his brother. But Ian promised him several times that he would be back at the same time the next day. Jack hugged him goodbye and insisted on paying for his cab fare home.
He couldn't wait to share his wonderful news with Micah.
Author: Jess>>>> bangxbangxdie7
Pairing:Micah/Jack and Stevie/Shaun *Original characters (link below)
Rating: PG-13ish
POV: Third
Summary: Micah and Shaun are two totally different guys with very different lives. One thing they share is a boyfriend with cancer. When they meet, they help each other cope even though they sometimes feel guilty about it...
Disclaimer: Don't own. Don't copy.
Author Note: Hey guys this is my new story =] I love you, and I hope you like it <33 Please comment?
Characters. / Info.
What would it take,
for things to be quiet,
quiet like the snow.
And I know this isn't much but...
I know I could be better.
I don't think I deserve it, selflessness.
Find your way into my heart.
All stars could be brighter.
All hearts could be warmer.
Are we meant to be empty handed?
Don't think about chances we're taking.
The list goes on and on...
Stevie chuckled. "Oh Shaun we both know you never were a boy scout..."
Stevie knew that Shaun wouldn't play by the rules unless directed to do so. Not that he was a cheater he just...liked to bend the rules to get what he wanted a lot. Stevie didn't blame him, he just called him out on his shit when he had to. Part of being in a long-term relationship; he got those privileges.
Besides, it was kind of cute to watch Shaun 'bend the rules' in every single game they played. Especially hide and seek. Shaun would always change his spot over and over again even though Stevie specifically told him to stay in one area. It made it that much more exciting to actually find the boy.
"No, not a boy scout. But when I was 12 I wanted to be a Brownie. My mom told me it was just for girls and I cried. I got over it though, obviously. But I still think it would totes be cool to be a Brownie."
Stevie blinked several times. "Did you just say 'totes', like, seriously?"
Shaun laughed and play-punched Stevie's shoulder. "Yeah it just kinda came out. Sorry. I tend to quote movies a lot don't I? But you love me anyway."
The older teen smiled hoping the younger would follow suit; which he did. "Yes of course, Shaun. I'll always love you and your silliness," he said with a grin. "So...since we're not gonna have sex we should come up with a different plan. I could call my mom or Mitch and ask them what they're doing for dinner, maybe we can go to Red Lobster," he said in a sing-song voice.
Shaun loved Red Lobster. He liked to look at the lobsters in the tank in the lobby where people walk in. Stevie nor anyone else had the heart to tell him that the same lobster he saw in the tank was the lobster that was in his plate. He was too naive to make the connection. What he didn't know wouldn't hurt him.
"Oh my gosh I LOVE that place. I like the lobsters with the pink bands on their claws. I like to think that those are the diva lobsters that run the tank. Don't judge me, it's probably true you know."
Stevie laughed as he searched for his cell phone. He knew why he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Shaun, and Shaun reminded him why every single day.
"Hey Mitch, I was just wondering what you and mom are planning for dinner? Oh...well, she's not home right now so maybe we could change plans a bit? I don't know I just thought maybe we could go out for a change. We haven't really...since I got sick. But I feel well enough to go. Okay, sounds good. Bye Mitch, see you later."
Shaun looked so cute with his little anticipation showing. "So, what's the plan?"
Stevie put his phone back in his pocket. "Mom was going to make veggie lasagna but she's not even here so...when she gets home I'll talk her out of it and we can go to Red Lobster. She'll say yes, she'd do anything to not cook. She is an amazing cook though...but like I said, we haven't gone out in forever."
Shaun frowned. "Because you're too sick. At least you feel good today. I feel better mentally when I know you feel good physically. If that makes any sense at all. And when you don't feel good I don't either. Just thought you might wanna know that. So you should just be better so we can both feel good all day every day, okay?"
The younger teen wrapped the older teen in his arms. He felt bad for Shaun; he felt bad for having to put him through the torture of having a sick boyfriend. Shaun deserved better. Stevie couldn't help his condition, but he still felt horrible about it. Shaun was having troubles dealing with it all and he knew it. And he also knew there was nothing he could do about it because it wasn't going away, at least not for a while.
"I'll do my best, sugarplum. Change of subject; much needed. Let's watch a movie till my mom gets home, you can pick out any movie you want. Just not the Little Mermaid, I think we've seen that one over 100 times."
Shaun pouted. "But I LOVE the Little Mermaid. Redheads are so rare. I mean I know she's not real but still. I just love looking at her long red hair flow in the water. Okay judging by the way you're looking at me...we'll watch something different. I've got an idea, you say three movies and I'll pick one out of the three to watch, deal?"
Stevie nodded. "Okay 1. White Chicks. 2. It's a Boy Girl Thing. 3. Aladdin."
Shaun scrunched up his face, he was mad that only one of those choices was a cartoon. "Uh, 3. We haven't watched Aladdin in a while and...he's kinda hot. For a fictional character anyway. Don't be jealous. Besides, I know how you feel about Link."
Stevie shook his head. "My crush on Link was so before I met you. And you only know about my crush on Link because you snooped through my draws and found stuff from like, middle school. You nosy little cute-thing, you."
"You know who else is hot, Xandir from Drawn Together. I'd do him, AND he's actually gay. Can we have a threesome with someone who looks like him? I'm kidding you can stop with the evil glare Stevie, thank you."
Stevie was actually starting to think of other cartoon guys that were attractive and it started to freak him out, so he had to do something to make his lovely boyfriend shut his mouth.
"We can have this discussion some other time I...suppose, but for now let's just stick with the movie. And you try not to get your second boner of the day from Aladdin, all right?"
Shaun coughed. "Third. It would be my third. This morning- yeah. Just to be honest."
If they got married Stevie would be occupied for the majority of his day, thanks to Shaun. The boy was just full of surprises. Stevie always told himself that. He told himself all the time that Shaun was like the weather, so unpredictable. That made Shaun more exciting and more lovable. Stevie was glad that his boyfriend was more different and unique than anyone else in the world.
"Well thanks for being honest with me, baby. I do appreciate it. You're so cute when you tell the truth."
Shaun smiled and kissed Stevie softly. "You're so cute all the time. Even when you won't touch my peen, when I ask you nicely. You're still cute then. But don't you worry, 'cause like I said before, it won't be long. I can't wait to have you clawing at my feet. You just watch. Watch and see, and watch and learn," he said sitting down on Stevie's couch. "...well that last part didn't really make sense. But I always wanted to say that. I was just never presented the opportunity."
Stevie giggled and sat down next to his boyfriend. "Yeah I know the feeling. I always wanted to say 'I'm too drunk to taste this chicken,' you know from Talladega Nights...damn we watch way too much TV, Shaun. I bet we could quote any movie ever made."
Shaun shrugged. "Nothing wrong with that. We live in New York, there's only 3 and a half months of nice weather in this place and we both hate the cold. So what do we do when it's cold, rainy, or snowing? Watch movies, duh. Because it's inside and entertaining. We could stop watching TV, but then you'd just have to play even MORE board games with me."
Stevie smirked. "Or we could play video games. Like...Legend of Zelda," he snorted. "...sorry, babe, hook, line and sinker." He kissed his forehead. "God I love you."
~
Ian was looking at his brother with so much interest. It was a reunion he planned on never getting. He always thought that Jack was gone for good; out of the country or something. He thought he was off doing great things or saving lives but in actuality he was just lounging around at his house. It didn't seem like his brother at all.
"Ian this might be hard for you to hear. But you want the truth and that's what I'm going to give you. You may not like it. Scratch that, I know you definitely won't like it."
The older man took a breath before speaking again. "...I didn't run away, Ian. Mom and dad threw me out. You were young but I assume you remember that guy who helped me out after I fell off my bike, right?"
Ian nodded, scooting closer to his big brother. "Well, shortly after that whole thing happened I...started having feelings for him. And we got together. You know how mom and dad are. She flipped out and told me I was forbidden to see him. I wasn't going to listen to her, Micah saved my life, and I wanted to be with him. So as soon as I was almost old enough, she kicked me out. She told me that I couldn't come back or call unless I dumped him and got a girlfriend."
He saw the look his brother was giving him, and he realized his feelings were hurt. "And it's not that I didn't care enough about you or Lily to break up with him, it was more complicated than that. Do you understand what mom was asking me to do? She wanted me to completely change and ignore my sexuality. I would have had to live a lie for the rest of my life. I belonged with Micah. And I still do."
Ian leaned his back against the couch. "So, after all this time, you're still with him? I mean...he's like your life partner?"
Jack nodded. "Yeah. I love him, Ian. He's been so great to me. This is his house. He offered his home to me and took me in when no one else wanted me. He takes care of me and- he loves me. I...I hope my being gay doesn't change our relationship. Don't worry, no matter what mom says, the gay won't rub off on you."
Ian shakes his head. "Of course not, Jack. I just feel so sorry for you, because of how ridiculous mom and dad are. How could they do that? How could they just kick you out and not let you come back. Not even to see us? That's cruel. So what if you love a guy, who gives a shit? Sorry. I mean, it' crazy. Mom told me that you just left, when the truth is that it was her who forced you out. It's mean and wrong and she should be ashamed of herself." He put a comforting hand on his brothers forearm. "...I still love you Jack. You're still my big brother, my only brother. I still want a relationship with you. I'll come here every day in secret I don't care. I'll do whatever it takes. You have no idea how much I've missed you."
Jack's lip trembled as he smiled. "Thank you so much, Ian. You don't know how happy that makes me to hear that. I was worried that I wouldn't see you ever again. This is the best second chance I could ever imagine. So thank you so much for being here."
Ian only smiled bigger. "It's not a problem, Jack. There's no way I believed mom and dad's bull. I knew you wouldn't just leave us. And I'm sorry that you can't come back, but it's okay. I'll come visit all the time. If you want. We could go to baseball games and go see movies and go shopping and...and all the stuff we never got to do. We could pick up right where we left off."
Jack frowned internally because he knew he was way too sick to do most of the things his brother wanted to do. But he couldn't bring it up; the fact that he was sick. He saw how happy Ian was, he couldn't ruin it.
"Of course, I'd love that. That sounds great. And you can meet Micah sometime. He's at work until late today but next time you visit he'll be here. I know you'll like him, you'll probably like him better than me. I'll pay for your taxi's and stuff so don't worry. God, Ian, you have no idea how happy I am right now. Do you think you can stay for dinner or is mom still crazy about eating as a family?"
Ian sighed. "Still crazy. But it's okay, I'll come back tomorrow. Don't worry about the cab, it's covered. I have a job, I work at Cafe Gia's on the weekends. And I'm happy too. I know it won't happen soon but...maybe I can bring Lily over. Mom would freak if she found out but I'll just wait until they ask me to baby-sit or something. She misses you too. She doesn't know I'm here, and I don't think I can trust her yet, but I know you'd like to see her, right?"
Jack tried not to cry. He missed his baby sister so much. "I would. But if it's too risky, don't do it. I don't want you to get in trouble with mom. Then you'd never be able to come here again. So just be careful."
"I will. I've been careful this whole time trying to find you. I always wondered if mom was lying or not, but I didn't try to prove her wrong until recently. I knew I could get caught. I know I'm still a kid, but I'm smart enough to watch my back. You taught me that. You always told me to watch my back, but not to worry because you'd always be looking out for me."
Jack bit his lip. "I'm so sorry that I couldn't have been there for you all these years. This wasn't easy; leaving you. Leaving the whole family. There were days where I wanted to break up with Micah and come back home. I was almost willing to sacrifice my love life for the acceptance from mom and dad. But then I realized where my heart was. Micah never pushed me, and he never told me what to do. But he reminded me every day, just by loving me that I needed to stay here. I thought that mom would come around when-" he stopped himself from blabbing about his cancer. "..when I called her and told her I missed her. But she wouldn't give in.
"I still can't believe her. It's disgusting. I'm embarrassed to have her as a mother. I only 'pray' for her to get better, Jack. She needs to accept the fact that you are her oldest child, her first born. She should have a special bond with you and right now? She has nothing. And it's horrible, she should feel horrible. But she has a fake smile plastered on her face all the time. Nose deep in the bible every day, trying to tell me to have a better relationship with God. I embrace our religion and I believe in God but I don't believe that he hates you, Jack. And I don't think mom should have made you choose between your lover and your family. That's not fair."
Ian scooted even closer to his brother and lied his head on his chest. Jack put his arms around his baby brother and gave him a warm hug. He never knew his brother was such an amazing person. He didn't know this because he was deprived of it for so long. He could hate his parents for doing this to him. But he could never truly hate them. Hate wasn't in his nature. It never was.
"It's okay, Ian. I don't want you to feel sorry for me. From what I learned from all this...there is no reason to feel bad. It won't solve anything. What happened happened. But I do hope that someday I will be able to walk in our house and Lily will run up to me and give me a giant hug, mom will kiss my cheek and dad will look at me like I'm not a freak. I believe that it will happen, maybe not soon, but eventually. I've been praying. I pray every day. I prayed that I would see you again, and look. You're here right now. So it looks like things are turning around for me."
Jack just hoped that this meant that other things would start to brighten up for him. He wanted to believe that he would be cancer free someday. He wanted to see his family again and he wanted to be accepted. He knew it was a long stretch but he would not stop praying.
It was very sad for the older boy to say goodbye to his brother. But Ian promised him several times that he would be back at the same time the next day. Jack hugged him goodbye and insisted on paying for his cab fare home.
He couldn't wait to share his wonderful news with Micah.