Well, I just read this whole story in one sitting and it was a cracking good read.
First of all- I thought the story itself- the plotting- was well-done. I suck at plot myself, so I always appreciate it when it's done well. Making the jumping off point that place where there seems to be a lack of trust between Buffy and Angel was a great place to start. Buffy and Angel have issues (certainly), but you’ve given them a tense place to begin working through them.
I like your use of the dialogue from the show- for the most part it emphasized what was going on internally with the characters. Sometimes it seemed extraneous, but mostly I thought you used it well.
This story also hit a few of my personal B/A kinks- particularly during the sex scenes (which I thought were nicely done, btw- mine tend to be much more graphic, but yours were a lovely depiction of them at their most intimate.)
Stuff like this pushes all my buttons: “Let it happen, baby,” he instructed in her ear on a murmur, his tongue snaking out to lick her jaw.
“Angel,” she cried, her head thrashing wildly on his pillow.
“I know, I know. It’s okay, I’m right here. Just feel it, baby. Let me see you come.” His words were nonsense to her, but his voice sent more shivers coursing through her.
I loved how Angel tried to trick Buffy into thinking he was Angelus after they made love. I didn’t see it coming and it must have killed him to do it.
This damn near killed me: I’m sorry, for everything. I’m sorry for loving you and not having the strength to protect you from myself. I’m sorry for turning what should have been the most beautiful experience of your life into a living nightmare. I’m sorry I ever went through my list of ways to torment and break women with you. I’m sorry I had a list like that to begin with. I’m sorry the sins of my past touched you with their horror. I’m sorry for promising to be with you forever, for promising to protect you with my life and then leaving you to die a horrible death 18 months later. I’m sorry for taking away the one thing we both wished for more than anything when I had the Oracles take back that day. I’m sorry I didn’t insist on staying with you after your mom died, for leaving you to find your way alone. I’m sorry for being overjoyed when the Scooby’s brought you back, even as you grieved at being ripped from heaven. I’m sorry I didn’t learn my lesson and come back to you then, instead trusting your friends would get you through that pain. I’m sorry I had a son and he wasn’t with you. I’m sorry for being angry and drunk and fucking you earlier, instead of making love to you the way you deserve. I’m sorry for ever believing I could love anyone else. I’m sorry for ever believing I deserved to love you, to be loved by you. I’m sorry for what’s about to come. Buffy, I’m just so damned sorry.
I have a big old yen for broken Angel- tha man who so wants to atone, the man who keeps trying to get it right…and the man whose head and heart is filled with regret. This might have been melodramatic, but it really wasn’t.
And this line was totally hot: “Mo chroí. Ta gra agam ort. Mo anamchara,” he whispered against her fevered skin.
I think you did an excellent job of capturing Buffy’s voice in the scene with the PTB.
This made me laugh out loud: “Are you fucking kidding me?” she demanded. “I’m not a cat here, people, I don’t have nine lives. What does it take for you all to just let me stay dead?”
And this was *so* Buffy: “Things happened differently than they were meant to. Angel was meant to be your friend, your protector and nothing more until he received his Shanshu. Only then were the two of you meant to fall in love. You never have been one for following the rules, though. A Slayer, in love with a vampire. Who could have foretold that?”
“I don’t know, aren’t you the freaking Powers That Be? How does anything happen you don’t know about?”
I’m not sure Buffy would have pushed him away like she did once she regained consciousness, but you know- the circumstances might just have precipitated such a reaction…and besides a good break-up always leads to a good make-up.
And this was wonderful: When the end comes and the Reaper comes to collect, he finds them still together, still in love, still fighting and still without fear, wrinkled and gray in each others’ arms the way they’d always dreamt. And completely without regret or uncertainty.
As we all know- I am an angst whore. And this story walked a wonderful line between angst and the inevitable happily ever after. A great fic for a Thursday afternoon.
Might I archive it at Sublime. And if so, would you be able to send the whole fic to me as a .doc attachment with one comprehensive set of author’s notes- it would be easier to code that way rather than cutting and pasting each bit. My e-mail is octaves @ rogers.com
Wow. Thank you so much, Chrislee! Your comments mean so much to me, given this was my first real dive into this fandom in terms of writing.
Of course you can archive it at Sublime, I'm incredibly honored. Like, you have no idea how honored. :) I'll get it compressed over the next few days and sent to you.
Again, thank you. I'm sorry I'm not more articulate, I'm just a bit speechless over here.
First of all- I thought the story itself- the plotting- was well-done. I suck at plot myself, so I always appreciate it when it's done well. Making the jumping off point that place where there seems to be a lack of trust between Buffy and Angel was a great place to start. Buffy and Angel have issues (certainly), but you’ve given them a tense place to begin working through them.
I like your use of the dialogue from the show- for the most part it emphasized what was going on internally with the characters. Sometimes it seemed extraneous, but mostly I thought you used it well.
This story also hit a few of my personal B/A kinks- particularly during the sex scenes (which I thought were nicely done, btw- mine tend to be much more graphic, but yours were a lovely depiction of them at their most intimate.)
Stuff like this pushes all my buttons:
“Let it happen, baby,” he instructed in her ear on a murmur, his tongue snaking out to lick her jaw.
“Angel,” she cried, her head thrashing wildly on his pillow.
“I know, I know. It’s okay, I’m right here. Just feel it, baby. Let me see you come.” His words were nonsense to her, but his voice sent more shivers coursing through her.
I loved how Angel tried to trick Buffy into thinking he was Angelus after they made love. I didn’t see it coming and it must have killed him to do it.
This damn near killed me:
I’m sorry, for everything. I’m sorry for loving you and not having the strength to protect you from myself. I’m sorry for turning what should have been the most beautiful experience of your life into a living nightmare. I’m sorry I ever went through my list of ways to torment and break women with you. I’m sorry I had a list like that to begin with. I’m sorry the sins of my past touched you with their horror. I’m sorry for promising to be with you forever, for promising to protect you with my life and then leaving you to die a horrible death 18 months later. I’m sorry for taking away the one thing we both wished for more than anything when I had the Oracles take back that day. I’m sorry I didn’t insist on staying with you after your mom died, for leaving you to find your way alone. I’m sorry for being overjoyed when the Scooby’s brought you back, even as you grieved at being ripped from heaven. I’m sorry I didn’t learn my lesson and come back to you then, instead trusting your friends would get you through that pain. I’m sorry I had a son and he wasn’t with you. I’m sorry for being angry and drunk and fucking you earlier, instead of making love to you the way you deserve. I’m sorry for ever believing I could love anyone else. I’m sorry for ever believing I deserved to love you, to be loved by you. I’m sorry for what’s about to come. Buffy, I’m just so damned sorry.
tbc...
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And this line was totally hot: “Mo chroí. Ta gra agam ort. Mo anamchara,” he whispered against her fevered skin.
I think you did an excellent job of capturing Buffy’s voice in the scene with the PTB.
This made me laugh out loud: “Are you fucking kidding me?” she demanded. “I’m not a cat here, people, I don’t have nine lives. What does it take for you all to just let me stay dead?”
And this was *so* Buffy:
“Things happened differently than they were meant to. Angel was meant to be your friend, your protector and nothing more until he received his Shanshu. Only then were the two of you meant to fall in love. You never have been one for following the rules, though. A Slayer, in love with a vampire. Who could have foretold that?”
“I don’t know, aren’t you the freaking Powers That Be? How does anything happen you don’t know about?”
I’m not sure Buffy would have pushed him away like she did once she regained consciousness, but you know- the circumstances might just have precipitated such a reaction…and besides a good break-up always leads to a good make-up.
And this was wonderful:
When the end comes and the Reaper comes to collect, he finds them still together, still in love, still fighting and still without fear, wrinkled and gray in each others’ arms the way they’d always dreamt. And completely without regret or uncertainty.
As we all know- I am an angst whore. And this story walked a wonderful line between angst and the inevitable happily ever after. A great fic for a Thursday afternoon.
Might I archive it at Sublime. And if so, would you be able to send the whole fic to me as a .doc attachment with one comprehensive set of author’s notes- it would be easier to code that way rather than cutting and pasting each bit. My e-mail is octaves @ rogers.com
Well done!
Reply
Of course you can archive it at Sublime, I'm incredibly honored. Like, you have no idea how honored. :) I'll get it compressed over the next few days and sent to you.
Again, thank you. I'm sorry I'm not more articulate, I'm just a bit speechless over here.
Reply
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