end of a year, beginning of a new one
well, this is the last entry of the year...hopefully, not the last. I found myself thinking while my mother, my father, my grandmother and i were sitting on the sofa together praying. my father went first, my grandmother went second, i went third, and my mother went last. naturally, we all prayed for the events that have occured this year and for the coming events of the new year. i found myself thinking, as i have mentioned before, while the others before me prayed. i thought about all the events that happened (not so much the pleasant ones, but the problematic things that when thought about optimistically are actually positive). i mean, yeah the problems that have happened are awful as well as the suffering we have all endured but i guess the saying is true... " What doesnt kill you makes you stronger". i remember last year's December 31. at this time, we were on the road driving in search of my brother who had rode his bike all the way to Miami Beach while on a triple C binge. i also recall what my thoughts were. i remember saying out loud " This year's gonna be the same as the rest. Nothing will ever change". i was feeling so disappointed, so upset that we werent all together like we should have been. i find myself thinking these things. this December 31, i am once again not with my brother. our family is not complete...once more. hopefully, this will be the last time we will all be seperated. all in all, i am grateful. i am grateful for the horrible events burned in my mind and for the euphoric events as well that have made me think "It cant possibley get any better". i am grateful for the family i have. you know, i would not have it any other way. i love them despite all their faults. *grins* arent we all just a little bit off our rockers? well, for anyone who reads this, i hope that you will find solice in all your troubles. i hope that you will get something out of what has just been written from the trenches of my heart. God will take care of everything. have faith. i know i have and even when i feel like my faith is gone, there's always a little bit left somewhere. so dont stop searching until you find that glimmer of hope. happy new year and may this year bring forth many blessings.