Basically I imagined myself as godzilla.
Fill in the blanks.
It's these substandard __________ on the [la la ____ _____] on the corner of fourth and ______ street!
Recognize it, eet's Panic! fools. Seeing Brendon Urie's face, or Ryan strumming away on his guitar, or hearing about Jon making another funny comment, is crucial for these times when there's too much anger and too much despair forming internal hives within my conscious.
I feel the need to post an LJ because I'm bored out of my mind and I feel that there's properly some brain curds somewhere in there that I can ween out for the sake of writing.
Freak out on Friday, not one of my better days but I guess I got bull's eye on the account of following theme, considering it was the way to cap off a pretty shitty week as it was. Emotionally draining, folks, that's what my life has been and anyone who has been in my presence knows it. Kyle tries to be my emotional masseuse, and he tries he really does, so sometimes it's at the point where I kind of don't want to tell him I'm unhappy? Just because I keep telling myself that next week I'm going to be more positive but it doesn't quite work on a meter system, like oh, my depressed energy has run out so I have no choice but to be happy. I mean, to a certain extent, I'm good at finding ways to make myself just get through the day and keep going. There's a scrap of humility that gets me by.
Even when I'm frustrated about various things, like the perpetual pain in my legs these days that is there even when I'm doing nothing more than sitting on my butt. Like time that's running out?
I have a fairly close knit circle of friends these days, the people I love know they're loved, but I suppose a great deal of it, I don't allow more than one or two to really to get all that close to me on a constant level. I love people, but I can't always handle 'em. And there are certain situations with a sick feeling I've had premonition about for weeks now that have finally happened, so I couldn't quite say that the shock was more than a throat gulp. I can't say or pretend that I don't care, because eff yeah I do, but my gut's telling me that the best thing is to let things be and not overreact or jump into anything. To be frank, it's sucky to know that there are times when you have to let yourself lose most control, and just let a situation take its course in the context of time. I've made biting decisions and they hurt right now. But I don't want to reach out blindly if I know that there's not going to be any warmth or life to the response back. When I get the slightest hint I have a problem with someone, I relinquish; it's pretty clear when people have the will not to talk to me, so I'll respect that wish and let you have one less person to deal with. I just wish you knew where I was coming from. So I feel that this is a learnable pain because for me, right now, I've beat myself up so much over people that don't want me. I mean, what are we supposed to do in that situation, renew our formatting in colorful bubble wrap and be delivered unto desired doorsteps?
Sour milk, that's what I've smelled for awhile and let stink,
wash it baby go wash it.
Why can't I.
I don't want to be depressed like up against the wall on the concrete floor of the laundry room, machines of routine my highest form of intellectual presence. What's worse, the echo of your own cries or human silence?
And I didn't want October flushing down the toilet, me staring down at swirling bowl, wondering where the better part of a month out of my life went. I don't really throw pennies into wells all that often. So I wouldn't a toilet either.
EDIT: All American Rejects "It Ends Tonight"
Good song for feelings atm.
It's these substandard __________ on the [la la ____ _____] on the corner of fourth and ______ street!
Recognize it, eet's Panic! fools. Seeing Brendon Urie's face, or Ryan strumming away on his guitar, or hearing about Jon making another funny comment, is crucial for these times when there's too much anger and too much despair forming internal hives within my conscious.
I feel the need to post an LJ because I'm bored out of my mind and I feel that there's properly some brain curds somewhere in there that I can ween out for the sake of writing.
Freak out on Friday, not one of my better days but I guess I got bull's eye on the account of following theme, considering it was the way to cap off a pretty shitty week as it was. Emotionally draining, folks, that's what my life has been and anyone who has been in my presence knows it. Kyle tries to be my emotional masseuse, and he tries he really does, so sometimes it's at the point where I kind of don't want to tell him I'm unhappy? Just because I keep telling myself that next week I'm going to be more positive but it doesn't quite work on a meter system, like oh, my depressed energy has run out so I have no choice but to be happy. I mean, to a certain extent, I'm good at finding ways to make myself just get through the day and keep going. There's a scrap of humility that gets me by.
Even when I'm frustrated about various things, like the perpetual pain in my legs these days that is there even when I'm doing nothing more than sitting on my butt. Like time that's running out?
I have a fairly close knit circle of friends these days, the people I love know they're loved, but I suppose a great deal of it, I don't allow more than one or two to really to get all that close to me on a constant level. I love people, but I can't always handle 'em. And there are certain situations with a sick feeling I've had premonition about for weeks now that have finally happened, so I couldn't quite say that the shock was more than a throat gulp. I can't say or pretend that I don't care, because eff yeah I do, but my gut's telling me that the best thing is to let things be and not overreact or jump into anything. To be frank, it's sucky to know that there are times when you have to let yourself lose most control, and just let a situation take its course in the context of time. I've made biting decisions and they hurt right now. But I don't want to reach out blindly if I know that there's not going to be any warmth or life to the response back. When I get the slightest hint I have a problem with someone, I relinquish; it's pretty clear when people have the will not to talk to me, so I'll respect that wish and let you have one less person to deal with. I just wish you knew where I was coming from. So I feel that this is a learnable pain because for me, right now, I've beat myself up so much over people that don't want me. I mean, what are we supposed to do in that situation, renew our formatting in colorful bubble wrap and be delivered unto desired doorsteps?
Sour milk, that's what I've smelled for awhile and let stink,
wash it baby go wash it.
Why can't I.
I don't want to be depressed like up against the wall on the concrete floor of the laundry room, machines of routine my highest form of intellectual presence. What's worse, the echo of your own cries or human silence?
And I didn't want October flushing down the toilet, me staring down at swirling bowl, wondering where the better part of a month out of my life went. I don't really throw pennies into wells all that often. So I wouldn't a toilet either.
EDIT: All American Rejects "It Ends Tonight"
Good song for feelings atm.