what did she THINK I meant??
So it was finally hot enough for shorts and when I sat down next to my friend, she started making all these amazed laughter noises. When she got it together she pointed at my lap and asked what a prude like me was doing with bruises there. So I looked, and on my inner thighs were a set of purpley blue bruises. She was making smug face at me, and before I could stop myself, I told her the truth.
"Oh," I said. "That's from the goat. She crams her head in and then the horns get stuck on my legs when she tries to pull out."
Yeah.
What I should have said was that when I was feeding my Mom's goats while she was away, all three of the goats attempted to climb over, squeeze under, and crowd in beside me when I opened the food bin. There was one climbing up my back with sharp little hooves, one pinned between my hip and the shed wall, and one trying to crawl between my legs and getting bonked in the nose with a bucket I'm trying to fill. The bonk in the nose makes her jerk her head back, digging sharp little horns into my inner legs.
I should've explained better. I didn't realize until the words were out what they sounded like. But it was completely worth it to see the face she made processing that.
"Oh," I said. "That's from the goat. She crams her head in and then the horns get stuck on my legs when she tries to pull out."
Yeah.
What I should have said was that when I was feeding my Mom's goats while she was away, all three of the goats attempted to climb over, squeeze under, and crowd in beside me when I opened the food bin. There was one climbing up my back with sharp little hooves, one pinned between my hip and the shed wall, and one trying to crawl between my legs and getting bonked in the nose with a bucket I'm trying to fill. The bonk in the nose makes her jerk her head back, digging sharp little horns into my inner legs.
I should've explained better. I didn't realize until the words were out what they sounded like. But it was completely worth it to see the face she made processing that.