Cryptic messages
So I meet this girl through this drag queen right?
and we don't take things slow right?
and part of me isn't in this relationship for the right reasons IN ANY WAY...right?
and I kind of lied to her a whole bunch. By convincing myself I felt things I didn't because I was totally in love with some one else but couldn't have that some one else because she was straight...right? Right.
This makes me a really guilt ridden person right? Who dated a really really really crazy girl. Who now actually hates this girl.
so after a month of getting drunk and stoned and babbling about how much I DON'T miss Heather (the girl I met through the drag queen) I'm finally cool.
And now I'm getting back into the actual dating game. And its not scary. And its not getting rushed. I'm just chill. And its really really really cool.
But (of course) because I'm rose, I worry that I am going to make the same god damned mistakes again so I'm all skittish.
and I don't want to lie. Or convince myself of something that isn't true. The question is....since I've dealt with all this shit personally, am I still in love with the straight girl? Upon self evaluation, I'm realizing that I probably will always love her. But thats awesome. Cause it doesn't hurt anymore. Cause for the first time I'm really really really fucking happy for her. Why? Because I can be now.
I feel GREAT
and we don't take things slow right?
and part of me isn't in this relationship for the right reasons IN ANY WAY...right?
and I kind of lied to her a whole bunch. By convincing myself I felt things I didn't because I was totally in love with some one else but couldn't have that some one else because she was straight...right? Right.
This makes me a really guilt ridden person right? Who dated a really really really crazy girl. Who now actually hates this girl.
so after a month of getting drunk and stoned and babbling about how much I DON'T miss Heather (the girl I met through the drag queen) I'm finally cool.
And now I'm getting back into the actual dating game. And its not scary. And its not getting rushed. I'm just chill. And its really really really cool.
But (of course) because I'm rose, I worry that I am going to make the same god damned mistakes again so I'm all skittish.
and I don't want to lie. Or convince myself of something that isn't true. The question is....since I've dealt with all this shit personally, am I still in love with the straight girl? Upon self evaluation, I'm realizing that I probably will always love her. But thats awesome. Cause it doesn't hurt anymore. Cause for the first time I'm really really really fucking happy for her. Why? Because I can be now.
I feel GREAT