Knitting meltdown
I want to shoot myself in the head at this point.
I know, I know...melodramatic, considering it has to do with, of all things, knitting. But ( Read more... )
I know, I know...melodramatic, considering it has to do with, of all things, knitting. But ( Read more... )
DICTATION GUIDELINES FOR PHYSICIANS
Adherence to these guidelines will assure the highest quality
transcribed reports in the shortest amount of time.
At the beginning of the dictation, take as deep a breath as you
possibly can. Now, try to dictate the entire report before you have
to inhale again.
When dictating a particularly difficult word or phrase, please turn
your head and speak directly into your armpit.
We charge per character, including periods. An effective way to cut
your cost is to dictate your entire report as one sentence.
It is not necessary to repeat the same sentence multiple times in
the same dictation.
If you have to sneeze or cough suddenly, please remove your head
from your armpit and sneeze or cough directly into the microphone.
If you must eat while you dictate, please stay away from foods such
as marshmallows, bananas, and pudding. Apples, pretzels, and celery
are much better choices.
Please don't stop dictating when you yawn. It throws off our rhythm.
If the patient's name is Alan Ratzlaffenhasenphepherzinsky , please
have the courtesy to spell "Alan" - there are several possible
spellings, you know. For the last name, simply state "the usual
spelling."
It is not necessary to repeat the same sentence multiple times in
the same dictation.
Please note - the phrase "well-developed, well-nourished white
female" is only three syllables.
Cardiologists, it is not necessary to dictate at the rate of your
patient's atrial fibrillation.
Do not stop dictating in the event of minor background noise such as
an office party, the janitor's vacuum cleaner, a screaming infant,
etc. Again, it throws off our rhythm.
Be sure to place the emPHAsis on the CORrect syLLABLE, especially if
enGLISH is your SECond lanGUAGE.
It is not necessary to repeat the same sentence multiple times in
the same dictation.
Talk as fast you possibly can. Fair's fair; after all, we type as
fast as we possibly can.
Please speak as quietly as you can…….we want to be able to hear
what's going on around you.
If you need to pause for 5 or 10 minutes between words or phrases,
pounding the receiver on the desk or repeatedly saying, "still
dictating…. still dictating….. still dictating…. still dictating…..
still dictating……" reminds us that indeed, you are still dictating.
Just because you need to use the restroom is no reason to stop
dictating. Time is money!
Don't dictate so loudly that you disrupt your fellow physicians'
football game in the doctors' lounge.
In fact, you really should whisper ALL of your dictation, since the
information is confidential.
Similarly, if you are going to watch TV while dictating at home,
please watch a war movie with lots of bombing, and be sure to have
the volume high enough so everybody in your living room can hear
above your talking.
If you need to correct yourself - sorry, correct an error, please do
not rewind the tape - sorry, do not back up and record over the
error - sorry, wait, the mistake - just continue with the sentence -
wait - go back - with the paragraph and fix the error - er, the
mistake.
Please go back and just delete that last guideline.
When dictating on your cell phone from your car, be sure to go
through as many tunnels as possible. This will ensure
confidentiality of the information.
You (y-o-u) do not need (n-e-e-d) to spell (s-p-e-l-l) obvious words
(w-o-r-d-s) for us (u-s). It is our job (j-o-b) to know (k-n-o-w)
how to (t-o) spell words that (t-h-a-t) we learned (l-e-a-r-n-e-d)
in third (t-h-i-r-d) grade (g-r-a-d-e).
One last thing, it is not necessary to repeat the same sentence
multiple times in the same dictation.
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And even though I'm not a medical transcriptionist, from what I know about doctors and the way a lot of them treat "the help," all of this is probably 100% true with very little in the way of exaggeration.
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