I dream of emotional baggage.
Most of my dreams lately have been about zombies, since I've played so much Left 4 Dead recently. But then there are these.
Dream 1:
Made love with Mitch. 7 times. As beautiful as ever.
Dream 2:
I got incredibly angry with Alex. In the dream, he had cheated on me early in the relationship with a friend. I became extremely angry, yelling and roaring at him (I get angry, but I never have this reaction in real life). I threw him out.
Clearly, this doesn't actually have anything to do with Alex.
Dream 3:
I went to Austin to tell Mitch I still have feelings for him. He felt the same way, and suddenly we were in love again.
As beautiful as ever.
In other news, the thyroid cancer scare (one of the factors that drove me to separate from Mitch) is still going strong. My doctor has ordered another ultrasound, which will be just five months after my previous one. He also wants me to see an ENT and neurologist, because my throat feels sore like the lump you get when trying to suppress a cry (pretty much daily for a few weeks now), and because he detected a fine distal tremor in my hands (he focused on the right one, however). I'm terrified that either 1) these symptoms are real, or 2) they are hysterical. Remains to be seen.
Of course, if it's bad news.. When I was in the hospital for a kidneystone that needed removing, I was briefed with all the risks of complications, including (very unlikely for that procedure) death. Dad was in the room with me, and noted, after the nurse left, that it probably was time to draw up a living will, so everyone knows what I want should there be horrible medical complications. Later that year was when the cancer scare started. My endocrinologist presented me with three options: surgery, hormones, or watching and waiting. I chose the third. The danger isn't (wasn't?) immediate enough for me to choose a more aggressive course of action. But these new findings are freaking me out. Cancer and death are pretty morbid suggestions for a twenty-two year old.
I was researching (with Google Incognito) how to write a living will and last will. That's when I realized I should probably come here to let off some steam.
Dream 1:
Made love with Mitch. 7 times. As beautiful as ever.
Dream 2:
I got incredibly angry with Alex. In the dream, he had cheated on me early in the relationship with a friend. I became extremely angry, yelling and roaring at him (I get angry, but I never have this reaction in real life). I threw him out.
Clearly, this doesn't actually have anything to do with Alex.
Dream 3:
I went to Austin to tell Mitch I still have feelings for him. He felt the same way, and suddenly we were in love again.
As beautiful as ever.
In other news, the thyroid cancer scare (one of the factors that drove me to separate from Mitch) is still going strong. My doctor has ordered another ultrasound, which will be just five months after my previous one. He also wants me to see an ENT and neurologist, because my throat feels sore like the lump you get when trying to suppress a cry (pretty much daily for a few weeks now), and because he detected a fine distal tremor in my hands (he focused on the right one, however). I'm terrified that either 1) these symptoms are real, or 2) they are hysterical. Remains to be seen.
Of course, if it's bad news.. When I was in the hospital for a kidneystone that needed removing, I was briefed with all the risks of complications, including (very unlikely for that procedure) death. Dad was in the room with me, and noted, after the nurse left, that it probably was time to draw up a living will, so everyone knows what I want should there be horrible medical complications. Later that year was when the cancer scare started. My endocrinologist presented me with three options: surgery, hormones, or watching and waiting. I chose the third. The danger isn't (wasn't?) immediate enough for me to choose a more aggressive course of action. But these new findings are freaking me out. Cancer and death are pretty morbid suggestions for a twenty-two year old.
I was researching (with Google Incognito) how to write a living will and last will. That's when I realized I should probably come here to let off some steam.