(no subject)
I'm tired of feeling so many emotions. I'm really scared.. or at least terrified of all the things that are going on right now or that are going to happen in the near future. For the past several months ive been angsting about colin going to college and im pretty sure ive never cried so much in my life. Change is really hard when it means you might lose something really good. Then i had bandcamp which was interesting. I was fairly miserable the first week and i dont know if ive ever felt so lonely in my life. Then laura, bryan, dana, and i went to some concert.. lol.. if you dont know what we saw.. you dont need to.. but i realized that they're pretty awesome ppl (besides laura cuz ive always known how cool she is) After that its been easier because its almost like.. having friends? haha i forgot what that was like. Its given me something to look forward to which took a tremendous weight off my shoulders. The problem is.. theres so many things happening at once.. im not really sure what to do. Im having a difficult time seeing things clearly and i have no idea what i want. I can feel myself wanting to pull away from everyone, even colin, because it will dull the pain. Ive begun to question everything and i wish i could find some clear answers. I'm not even sure who I am or who i want to be. I think this year is my opportunity to figure that out. I just hope i wont have any regrets because I realize that the best path for me is deffinately not the easiest one and im not sure if i am strong enough. I really appreciate everyone who's been there for me lately. I know everything is going to work out for the best as it always does, I just need to have faith and patience. School's going to start soon so hopefully having a routine with help take my mind off all the things that are bothering me so much. Plus, morp is going to be awesome =) So... thats how i feel.. haha enough rambling/angst for one day.
The End.
-Coleen