blah!!!!
i donlt know whats wrong with me, but i;m so sick of being this way!!! i was talking yesterday with my boyfriend about stuff and it somehow led into stuff that happened with my last boyfriend, kyle. i dated kyle for a year and the whole time he used me . i had a rough time in middle school and it just about killed my selfesteem. so once in highschool i tried to make it better, but it;s hard. freshman year wasnt to bad but i hated the feeling of being alone, so i got together with kyle. i would've dont anything for that boy and i sorta did. i was so afraid of being alone, i felt i had to do what ever i could to hold on to him, i told him i loved him and did whatever he wanted to do, i thought i had to. when we broke up i felt ashamed, used , it was aweful.i spent alot of time being depressed about it , i still am to this day sometimes, like yesterday when i broke down at my new boyfriends house. Its so wonderful to have someone who truly loves me and who wants to be with me and doesn;t want to hurt me. i love brian so much, he's the best person i know. hels helped me with so much, he showed me how to be confident and not to care what others think, and he's helping get over these feelings of being ashamed and useless. it;s an amazing feeling to have someone who cares about me that much. I LOVE HIM!!! thats all i wanted to say today...