I'm probably crazy, but...
I dunno. I'm just dumb. I keep thinking about things I shouldn't, and wanting things that I can't have and shouldn't be wanting. And it's not like these are even consistent. They're schizo. Like, one second I want it, then the next, I'm happy with what I have and don't know what I would do if I had anything more. I know I need to move on, but that's really hard when my heart wants to stay in the same place where it's comfortable. But it's pretty obvious that I've been vacillating over the whole thing and I need to just stop it.
I dunno. All my old habits and annoyances just keep coming up. Like jealousy. Why would I be jealous? It's not mine.
So... I dunno. I'm just retarded. I need to get a life.
Anyways. Church today was pretty awesome. Flapping my arms with Shaye and Aaron, clapping on two and the and of three.... Then trying to clap on the "e" of three. Haha. It was so hard! But funny.
Then I had some amazering coffee and drove home.
You know what I hate? That guy in the big fatty SUV who decides to signal right AFTER he cuts you off. Haha. That happened to me after church today and I just kinda laughed. What a dummy.
Ugh. I have to work tonight. I really don't want to. Work is dumb. Work is for losers.
But at least these losers get paychecks.
God, I hate that I'm such a freakishly retarded loser.
Sorry that I'm getting down on myself. Guess it's just another one of those moods I get.
And my mom wants me to clean my room and start my homework before work. Um. Heck no? Does that sound good?
Grrrrrr.... I need to feel happier. But I don't know how.
Help.