once again confused
He doesnt want me, period, end of story. So when will i get over it?
I still wish he did, but everyday it seems less likely.
Yesterday I was supposed to go out with Jeremy. He seems like a nice guy, but I don't know. He is kinda rough and overly sarcastic bordering on rude, but then can be sweet.
Well yesterday I had a long talk with nicole. About how I've been thinking. And I just cried and prayed the entire way home...and if you know me I do not usually pray.
I asked god for a sign, something to let me now whether or not I should pursue my interest in Islam or if it would be turning my back on christ. And I think I was answered.
I promised myself that if Lou and I did not work out I would learn more about Islam and consider converting. And he just did not love me and after our few and in between talks does not show any regret for his decision, no sign that he misses me at all.
Then I was supposed to go out with Jeremy and sure enough I went out to dinner with my family first and it made me so sick I spent about an hour praying to the porcelain goddess. Therefore I did not go out with him and instead stayed home. Where when I went to work on my homework the internet wasn't working.
So sick and nothing to do I went to my room and to make the night more wonderful my dog had torn everything out of my backpack to get to the chocolate covered coffee beans. But there dead center in the middle of my room, was the book. The book Nicole had given me to start learning about Islam.
Lou doesnt want me and being with him stopped me before, I'm sure seeing another man would have stopped that as well...
I'm scared, because I think I have received the answer I prayed for.
I still wish he did, but everyday it seems less likely.
Yesterday I was supposed to go out with Jeremy. He seems like a nice guy, but I don't know. He is kinda rough and overly sarcastic bordering on rude, but then can be sweet.
Well yesterday I had a long talk with nicole. About how I've been thinking. And I just cried and prayed the entire way home...and if you know me I do not usually pray.
I asked god for a sign, something to let me now whether or not I should pursue my interest in Islam or if it would be turning my back on christ. And I think I was answered.
I promised myself that if Lou and I did not work out I would learn more about Islam and consider converting. And he just did not love me and after our few and in between talks does not show any regret for his decision, no sign that he misses me at all.
Then I was supposed to go out with Jeremy and sure enough I went out to dinner with my family first and it made me so sick I spent about an hour praying to the porcelain goddess. Therefore I did not go out with him and instead stayed home. Where when I went to work on my homework the internet wasn't working.
So sick and nothing to do I went to my room and to make the night more wonderful my dog had torn everything out of my backpack to get to the chocolate covered coffee beans. But there dead center in the middle of my room, was the book. The book Nicole had given me to start learning about Islam.
Lou doesnt want me and being with him stopped me before, I'm sure seeing another man would have stopped that as well...
I'm scared, because I think I have received the answer I prayed for.