in so deep
i am in love. i am happy. i am scared. i am in love with a guy on campus, he's in one of my classes & hes really nice & i really like him a lot. im happy cause ive found another guy. i am scared bc i dont know if he likes me & i cant really handle any more turn downs right now. i was burnt sooo badly this summer that im really scared to get involved with anyone in any way again. & i dont know if hes single. like, i know he doesnt have a girlfriend on campus but what about one of those home people? i have to figure out how to figure out if hes single or not...not sure how but ill think of something. but yah, im in soooo deep. dice laughs at me cause i turn so red. i almost hate being in love. on one hand its great bc its like im happy again but i almost hate it because i feel so stupid. i mean, i turn red if someone mentions him? i look forward to class just so i can see him? i turn really shy when hes around? its not me, im not a shy person, i can talk to anyone about anything. im an outgonig person who loves people. but yet, i just smile at him! its so not me & so i kinda dont like being in love. plus everyone goes awwwwww whenever they hear about it. & they laugh at me. argh, oh well. its a small price to pay. but i am happy just thinking about him...*sigh* & i like being happy, even if it might be shortlived. im trying not to get too excited but hes one of those people that i could see myself with for a while. but theres one problem. hes a Christian. i dont really know what to do with a Christian guy. i mean, the other guys ive dated mightve been *faithful* (oh wait, screw that-glen wasnt :-O) but they werent Christians like he is. so im not sure what i would do with him. i guess id figure it out lol. anyway, thats me for now:):)
ps-i have a xanga site so thats y i dont update on here as often...