a pirate looks at forty
Ok, so I'm not a pirate, and I'm not 40 (although, I am over half way though. WHOA!) Anywho, it's almost the end of my college career. Wow. It's gone way too incredibly fast. I always knew I was gonna have to enter the "real world" someday, but I just figured it was waaaaay off in the future and it would get here eventually, but no hurry. Well, now that it's almost here, I feel like it got here too soon and I don't know if I'm quite ready for it. Oy. I don't have any jobs lined up, I don't really know what I'm doing after graduation. And, just for the record, I am so sick of anwering the "what are you doing after graduation" question. :-P I know people are curious and all, so I can't really get mad at them or anything, but it's annoying. LOL. I should just say I'm gonna move to Scotland and be a sheep herder or something. Or move to Montana and live on a horse ranch out in the middle of no where. Or move somewhere in Louisiana and be a street-corner musician, playing some awesome jazz licks. Haha. I should give someone one of those answers one of these days, and be all serious about it too...see what they say.
Well, the senior dinner was tonight. It was actually pretty nice. The food was pretty decent. And this afernoon some of my friends and I had a little "dance party." Twas fun. I always love getting my groove on. It's just so sad to think that these are our last days. :-( I mean, it's not like I'm never gonna see these people again, but it won't be so convenient. I feel like I missed a lot of opportunities to really get to know people. And that just makes me sad. I kinda feel like I'm just getting comfortable here and everything, getting used to things, finding my place in this little world...and now I have to leave. I think being really tired is making me feel more melancholy too. And sitting here being bored doesn't help. Although, I'm prolly gonna go watch a movie with some friends a little later tonight. I'm just in a general blah sort of mood. It's kinda like how I felt when I was coming to college for the first time...overwhelmed at the change happening in my life, not sure how things were gonna go. I remember being in the car on the way to school to move in and just kind of quietly crying a bit in the backseat of the car. (Well, it being the last Sunday at my home church for a while and not getting to say goodbye to the one guy I really wanted to say goodbye to didn't help. :-P) Anywho...I know it will all be okay. God's in control, and He knows what's gonna happen, and it will all be for my best interest and in His time. I just wish I had done things differently these last four years, and that is what really gets me. I am very grateful for the friends I have made, and for all the times we have spent together, and their friendliness and everything, I just wish I gotten closer to them. I know I've talked about this here before, so I'm sorry if you're getting sick of reading about this, anyone who reads this. And I don't wanna come off sounding like I'm all self-pitying and all. I'm not. I think this is just the whole sadness of moving on and closing this chapter of my life. I'll just have to make sure I stay in touch with everyone. I'll have to make a point of writing letters or making phone calls to people. And I'm sure I will meet new people and make new friends (maybe meet a boyfriend? one can hope). Although, most of my past jobs, I haven't exactly "clicked" with my fellow employees. Hopefully my next job will be different. And hopefully it will be at the music store I applied to.
Alright, I'm working on a poem, so maybe I'll go try to finish that now.
Well, the senior dinner was tonight. It was actually pretty nice. The food was pretty decent. And this afernoon some of my friends and I had a little "dance party." Twas fun. I always love getting my groove on. It's just so sad to think that these are our last days. :-( I mean, it's not like I'm never gonna see these people again, but it won't be so convenient. I feel like I missed a lot of opportunities to really get to know people. And that just makes me sad. I kinda feel like I'm just getting comfortable here and everything, getting used to things, finding my place in this little world...and now I have to leave. I think being really tired is making me feel more melancholy too. And sitting here being bored doesn't help. Although, I'm prolly gonna go watch a movie with some friends a little later tonight. I'm just in a general blah sort of mood. It's kinda like how I felt when I was coming to college for the first time...overwhelmed at the change happening in my life, not sure how things were gonna go. I remember being in the car on the way to school to move in and just kind of quietly crying a bit in the backseat of the car. (Well, it being the last Sunday at my home church for a while and not getting to say goodbye to the one guy I really wanted to say goodbye to didn't help. :-P) Anywho...I know it will all be okay. God's in control, and He knows what's gonna happen, and it will all be for my best interest and in His time. I just wish I had done things differently these last four years, and that is what really gets me. I am very grateful for the friends I have made, and for all the times we have spent together, and their friendliness and everything, I just wish I gotten closer to them. I know I've talked about this here before, so I'm sorry if you're getting sick of reading about this, anyone who reads this. And I don't wanna come off sounding like I'm all self-pitying and all. I'm not. I think this is just the whole sadness of moving on and closing this chapter of my life. I'll just have to make sure I stay in touch with everyone. I'll have to make a point of writing letters or making phone calls to people. And I'm sure I will meet new people and make new friends (maybe meet a boyfriend? one can hope). Although, most of my past jobs, I haven't exactly "clicked" with my fellow employees. Hopefully my next job will be different. And hopefully it will be at the music store I applied to.
Alright, I'm working on a poem, so maybe I'll go try to finish that now.