I just want to be good...
I just got done practicing trumpet. I'm so horrible at music. Today while I was practicing I was actually embarassed. Jackie's friend Allison is over right now and she got here while I was practicing. My tone is always shaky on trumpet and Alexander (my teacher) has been giving me really slow beginner type stuff to try to fix it by making me listen to my tone and stuff. So I'm in the basement practicing trumpet, playing beginner type stuff, even though I'm going into high school, while two of the finest flute players in the whole school are upstairs. That's why I was embarassed, not to mention the fact that I wasn't playing well at all today.
All I really want is something that I can be good at. I really want to have something that my parents are proud of me for and can show off to family and stuff and something that I'm proud of. You know how everyone just seems to have something that they're good at? Well, I can't seem to find that for me. Some people may think I'm smart, but I'm really not. I mean, look at me, I didn't get into TJ, I can't spell, I'm bad at writing, though I may like math I'm not neccissarily good at it, I'm not much for remembering facts and stuff either, and I'm a really slow reader. Lets see what else, I'm terrible at drawing, and not good at music. I have basically no sense of rhythm or tone. What else is there that I could be good at but inevidably am not?
Just for once I want to find something that I'm good at. A lot of the time I feel like I'm just here to take up space. Jackie's the one that if our parents had wanted her to be could've been one of the genious children, she's the one that's good at art and music. I feel like people are always expecting me to be good at something like she is, but I'm not and I just wish I could be good at one thing.
All I really want is something that I can be good at. I really want to have something that my parents are proud of me for and can show off to family and stuff and something that I'm proud of. You know how everyone just seems to have something that they're good at? Well, I can't seem to find that for me. Some people may think I'm smart, but I'm really not. I mean, look at me, I didn't get into TJ, I can't spell, I'm bad at writing, though I may like math I'm not neccissarily good at it, I'm not much for remembering facts and stuff either, and I'm a really slow reader. Lets see what else, I'm terrible at drawing, and not good at music. I have basically no sense of rhythm or tone. What else is there that I could be good at but inevidably am not?
Just for once I want to find something that I'm good at. A lot of the time I feel like I'm just here to take up space. Jackie's the one that if our parents had wanted her to be could've been one of the genious children, she's the one that's good at art and music. I feel like people are always expecting me to be good at something like she is, but I'm not and I just wish I could be good at one thing.