IC: All a Dream...
OOC: The following is a IC post I feel rather inspired to write. This is from the perspective of my Mage: the Awakening PC named Paladin. None of this is real, fair warning to the mundanes you read this!
Paladin sits up, screaming. It's the first time in many years, the drug abuse years and the following de-tox time was the last he could remember. He threw up his sheet, panting and sweating, and running his hands threw his hair. He looks at his clock on the left, looks to his cross above his door near the foot of his twin bed and finally at the full and unopened jar of Jack Daniels on his nightstand on his left. Growling, Paladin punches the bottle with all the pent up aggression he can muster and shatters it. He winces as he feels the shards of glass break his skin and he watches as the blood starts to flow.
Quiet at first, the sound of Paladins fathers footsteps can be heard running down the hall, then a soft chuckle as he realizes he's still alive. By the time his father manages to run into the room, he's roaring in laughter at the sight of his bleeding hand and whole knees and simply reveling at the signs of life. Paladin lets his father clean his wounds, listens to the chiding while his mind wanders to the dream again...
- - -
Paladin should be dead. He was fading, but Noels voice kept pulling him out. "Your not going to die today Paladin, not today!" Noel kept chanting that, as if it was a lifeline and perhaps it was. The sound of the hordes of undead could be heard echoing down the valley and up the path, all his guns were out of ammo, he lost oen sword and broke another.
OK Paladin, mental checklist. You haven't had your medication in two days. You were injured on Friday night but hid it. That injury led to an infection due to you decreased immune system, and now you have the flu with a minimal white blood cell count and no meds. Numerous cuts and bruises, torn abdominal muscles would explain why it hurts to breathe. That blood in your mouth is from two missing teeth and a broken jaw, your vision on your right side is blurry from your eye being clawed out almost and that numb feeling bellow your knees means that your knees are shattered. Blood loss is over half of totals...why the fuck am I not dead yet!?
Paladin was barely conscious as he was bodily carried back to camp. fading in and out, constantly hearing Noel ("Your not dead yet!") or Mort ("Oh my God, it ripped out my rib from the inside!!") speak gave him something to focus on, to listen to. To hope for. He had to be active for something, there had to be some reason he was still alive. Every heart beat was because he NEEDED to beat, every rattled breath was required because he HAD to.
God needs me. God won't let me fail.
Paladin didn't remember being in triage. He's told he spoke, he's told he screamed and cried out in pain. All he can remember is hearing about Moria. "She's going to miscarry...there's nothing we can do for her." That's what Cloud said. Cloud was so sure nothing could be medically done for her, getting hit in the stomach with a tree going 50 mph will do that of course. But, the key word was medically. Paladin sits up, he can feel he has nothing left yet there is something he must do.
God needs me. God won't let me fail.
Paladin drug his dieing shell into the side room Moria had been given for privacy. She was crying, and in pain. The masters of Life are angry, they could fix this if they only had their Arcana. The masters of Fate are somber, they can do nothing to prevent this turn of events from occurring. The faithful are praying, but even Gypsy seems to be having a crisis in the face of such a horrific event. Paladin shivers, he could feel his body heat fading, could feel his heart struggling but yet he knew he was needed. He asks Moria if she wants him to stop fighting, she says no.
Moria needs me. She will not let me fail.
Paladin writes to Cloud, using a scrap of the bible. He lists he needs his rosary, his vial of holy water and fresh fertile soil. He pulls out the candle from his vest, clumsily making a small tripod from the rosary and sticks, lighting the flame itself with a chapter from Genesis. And God said, let there be Light. And it was good. He pours the dirt out on the floor, drawing the sacred symbols. He blesses them with holy water, blesses Moria, blesses the baby and blesses himself. And he prays. God, do not let me fail Moria or her child. Do not let me fail You, do not let me disturb the divine will. Send me your servant, Gabriel, the divine protector and messenger. Please...
Everyone felt the rush of air from the room. Everyone saw the door quickly slam shut, the lights die except for the single flame burning. Paladin senses the presence of the Divine Will, as the blinding flash sears the vision of everyone in the room. There is no question that something is here with them, and yet no one dares move or breath. For just a brief moment, Paladin feels the touch on his cheek as the Light pressing against his injured skin. With that single touch, he understood the question before him. Gabriel would save me, if I asked. Cured...saved. My body whole, uninjured and at peek. All I have to do is ask. His eyes are wet as he shuts them, he understands his choice. It's one he's made so many times over, but it's never been so apparent as it was right now. He exhales, a tear running down his cheek as he feels himself falling back.
I need me. Do not let me fail.
The Light rushes, and darkness swallows the room once more before the lights flicker on. Moria is fine, but Paladin slips back into the darkness. He awakens sporadically. He can barely focus, his vision is blurred. He remembers Cloud and Ace carrying him back to his cabin, and laying him in bed. Paladin could feel his heart slowing, he felt so very cold. It hurt to breathe, each breath was gurgling with blood. But he didn't fail. He wouldn't let himself fail.
He takes one last breathe, and feels his heart give out.
- - -
Paladin was crying softly, his father holding him and attempting to comfort him. He could never explain to his father why he was upset, or what was bothering him. But, that gentle touch was comforting. It helped him focus, to remember.
I will not fail, not then, not now, not ever. I will not let myself fail.
Paladin sits up, screaming. It's the first time in many years, the drug abuse years and the following de-tox time was the last he could remember. He threw up his sheet, panting and sweating, and running his hands threw his hair. He looks at his clock on the left, looks to his cross above his door near the foot of his twin bed and finally at the full and unopened jar of Jack Daniels on his nightstand on his left. Growling, Paladin punches the bottle with all the pent up aggression he can muster and shatters it. He winces as he feels the shards of glass break his skin and he watches as the blood starts to flow.
Quiet at first, the sound of Paladins fathers footsteps can be heard running down the hall, then a soft chuckle as he realizes he's still alive. By the time his father manages to run into the room, he's roaring in laughter at the sight of his bleeding hand and whole knees and simply reveling at the signs of life. Paladin lets his father clean his wounds, listens to the chiding while his mind wanders to the dream again...
- - -
Paladin should be dead. He was fading, but Noels voice kept pulling him out. "Your not going to die today Paladin, not today!" Noel kept chanting that, as if it was a lifeline and perhaps it was. The sound of the hordes of undead could be heard echoing down the valley and up the path, all his guns were out of ammo, he lost oen sword and broke another.
OK Paladin, mental checklist. You haven't had your medication in two days. You were injured on Friday night but hid it. That injury led to an infection due to you decreased immune system, and now you have the flu with a minimal white blood cell count and no meds. Numerous cuts and bruises, torn abdominal muscles would explain why it hurts to breathe. That blood in your mouth is from two missing teeth and a broken jaw, your vision on your right side is blurry from your eye being clawed out almost and that numb feeling bellow your knees means that your knees are shattered. Blood loss is over half of totals...why the fuck am I not dead yet!?
Paladin was barely conscious as he was bodily carried back to camp. fading in and out, constantly hearing Noel ("Your not dead yet!") or Mort ("Oh my God, it ripped out my rib from the inside!!") speak gave him something to focus on, to listen to. To hope for. He had to be active for something, there had to be some reason he was still alive. Every heart beat was because he NEEDED to beat, every rattled breath was required because he HAD to.
God needs me. God won't let me fail.
Paladin didn't remember being in triage. He's told he spoke, he's told he screamed and cried out in pain. All he can remember is hearing about Moria. "She's going to miscarry...there's nothing we can do for her." That's what Cloud said. Cloud was so sure nothing could be medically done for her, getting hit in the stomach with a tree going 50 mph will do that of course. But, the key word was medically. Paladin sits up, he can feel he has nothing left yet there is something he must do.
God needs me. God won't let me fail.
Paladin drug his dieing shell into the side room Moria had been given for privacy. She was crying, and in pain. The masters of Life are angry, they could fix this if they only had their Arcana. The masters of Fate are somber, they can do nothing to prevent this turn of events from occurring. The faithful are praying, but even Gypsy seems to be having a crisis in the face of such a horrific event. Paladin shivers, he could feel his body heat fading, could feel his heart struggling but yet he knew he was needed. He asks Moria if she wants him to stop fighting, she says no.
Moria needs me. She will not let me fail.
Paladin writes to Cloud, using a scrap of the bible. He lists he needs his rosary, his vial of holy water and fresh fertile soil. He pulls out the candle from his vest, clumsily making a small tripod from the rosary and sticks, lighting the flame itself with a chapter from Genesis. And God said, let there be Light. And it was good. He pours the dirt out on the floor, drawing the sacred symbols. He blesses them with holy water, blesses Moria, blesses the baby and blesses himself. And he prays. God, do not let me fail Moria or her child. Do not let me fail You, do not let me disturb the divine will. Send me your servant, Gabriel, the divine protector and messenger. Please...
Everyone felt the rush of air from the room. Everyone saw the door quickly slam shut, the lights die except for the single flame burning. Paladin senses the presence of the Divine Will, as the blinding flash sears the vision of everyone in the room. There is no question that something is here with them, and yet no one dares move or breath. For just a brief moment, Paladin feels the touch on his cheek as the Light pressing against his injured skin. With that single touch, he understood the question before him. Gabriel would save me, if I asked. Cured...saved. My body whole, uninjured and at peek. All I have to do is ask. His eyes are wet as he shuts them, he understands his choice. It's one he's made so many times over, but it's never been so apparent as it was right now. He exhales, a tear running down his cheek as he feels himself falling back.
I need me. Do not let me fail.
The Light rushes, and darkness swallows the room once more before the lights flicker on. Moria is fine, but Paladin slips back into the darkness. He awakens sporadically. He can barely focus, his vision is blurred. He remembers Cloud and Ace carrying him back to his cabin, and laying him in bed. Paladin could feel his heart slowing, he felt so very cold. It hurt to breathe, each breath was gurgling with blood. But he didn't fail. He wouldn't let himself fail.
He takes one last breathe, and feels his heart give out.
- - -
Paladin was crying softly, his father holding him and attempting to comfort him. He could never explain to his father why he was upset, or what was bothering him. But, that gentle touch was comforting. It helped him focus, to remember.
I will not fail, not then, not now, not ever. I will not let myself fail.