It seems like posting is the thing to do.
... Well if everyone else is livejournaling, than I guess I will start again too. This summer started off so amazingly with Europe, of course the trip on the whole was so memorable. Then I got back, hung out with a whole bunch of people, and now Things are finally getting real, everything is falling apart. Of course it happens like this. High School happened like this. well, that might have been more my fault. But right as I'm getting ready to leave, just for 8 weeks, this is what happens. I know I'm being way over dramatic about everything. But thats how I live. My bank account was just at -142... I haven't been saving any money for the school year, I haven't been in a show in over a year and life just sucks. This is what I want to do, and I haven't done it in so long. I haven't acted in over a year! I don't count schoolhouse, because god knows how awful that experience was. It just seems like I can't have too much of what I want. Whenever I get something I want, every other aspect of my life falls apart. Why can't for once, I stop pretending to be happy and just get happy.
But I'm sick of being retarded and Emo. God knows if anyone reads this still, I leave in a week for Camp and I can't wait. Ive met some really awesome people already and I can't wait until we are all hanging together and being cool. Im in Brunswick right now, in Cate's apt, alone. She is working. and I guess that is where all these bad thoughts came from... Idle mind. But I feel constantly alone. I work, I go home, my parents don't even live there anymore. I'm alone there. So I come here to Brunswick, and I go up to Boothbay, but I just don't really feel connected to anyone, because they are all living what I want to do. They are sharing all these things with other people, and I'M just the third wheel. So, I stay in the background. Yep, I just know Next year is going to be different, I'm not going to do that shit, I'M going to put myself out there, I'm going to get profesh work somewhere and live like that. Thats what I want to do, thats what I'm going to do. It just sucks that its not right now.
Well that was my emo-tastic journal entry... heh
I swear I'm not suicidal.
But I'm sick of being retarded and Emo. God knows if anyone reads this still, I leave in a week for Camp and I can't wait. Ive met some really awesome people already and I can't wait until we are all hanging together and being cool. Im in Brunswick right now, in Cate's apt, alone. She is working. and I guess that is where all these bad thoughts came from... Idle mind. But I feel constantly alone. I work, I go home, my parents don't even live there anymore. I'm alone there. So I come here to Brunswick, and I go up to Boothbay, but I just don't really feel connected to anyone, because they are all living what I want to do. They are sharing all these things with other people, and I'M just the third wheel. So, I stay in the background. Yep, I just know Next year is going to be different, I'm not going to do that shit, I'M going to put myself out there, I'm going to get profesh work somewhere and live like that. Thats what I want to do, thats what I'm going to do. It just sucks that its not right now.
Well that was my emo-tastic journal entry... heh
I swear I'm not suicidal.