(no subject)
I was dreading today
I have two essays due tomorrw before i have to leave. I had art today and althouh it went better than expected I was still unprepaired.
Everyone is packing excitedly and can't wait to go home and see family but here i am. I know it is trite but i feel alone. I am not going home, i have to spend tuesday night in a stranger's house because my flight will not leave till wednesday. I normally enjoy the holidays but something is lurking. I just want to come home, see my friends, forget about classes, and become renewed.
I guess that is why so many kids are excited buecause they get renewed but i just feel like this break takes me away from even my budding friendships to spend thanksgiving with family, but family i hardly know, family i don't feel as comfortable with as my home.
I know the following will be rather vauge but in due time.
I was feeling dread for another reason too. Both leaving this haven, college, and the people in it. Now people seem to have changed for me. My focous has removed itself and now i feel like i am an essay with no pourpse.
Now i have all of this and i have to actually finnish off an essay and pack and clean and i just want my friends. I want my family. I really don't want to go to chicago. I want to talk to people about this face to face but i am lacking the capacity and some people i realy trust. you are all back home, and you are the poeple i trust and i feel so disconnected. It si espically sad that this last part is mostly due to me
In short, after writing this entry i have experienced a certain amount of relief and i realize that All i want from Christmas from all of you is some friend time. When i get back, whenever it is, lets talk and have some fun. Anything over that is just more than i deserve and i will try to make up for it by being everything a friend needs. (I'll get some good gifts too) Over break i'll be writing so till that letter.
thanks
with love
aaron
I have two essays due tomorrw before i have to leave. I had art today and althouh it went better than expected I was still unprepaired.
Everyone is packing excitedly and can't wait to go home and see family but here i am. I know it is trite but i feel alone. I am not going home, i have to spend tuesday night in a stranger's house because my flight will not leave till wednesday. I normally enjoy the holidays but something is lurking. I just want to come home, see my friends, forget about classes, and become renewed.
I guess that is why so many kids are excited buecause they get renewed but i just feel like this break takes me away from even my budding friendships to spend thanksgiving with family, but family i hardly know, family i don't feel as comfortable with as my home.
I know the following will be rather vauge but in due time.
I was feeling dread for another reason too. Both leaving this haven, college, and the people in it. Now people seem to have changed for me. My focous has removed itself and now i feel like i am an essay with no pourpse.
Now i have all of this and i have to actually finnish off an essay and pack and clean and i just want my friends. I want my family. I really don't want to go to chicago. I want to talk to people about this face to face but i am lacking the capacity and some people i realy trust. you are all back home, and you are the poeple i trust and i feel so disconnected. It si espically sad that this last part is mostly due to me
In short, after writing this entry i have experienced a certain amount of relief and i realize that All i want from Christmas from all of you is some friend time. When i get back, whenever it is, lets talk and have some fun. Anything over that is just more than i deserve and i will try to make up for it by being everything a friend needs. (I'll get some good gifts too) Over break i'll be writing so till that letter.
thanks
with love
aaron