(no subject)
I seem to be second guessing myself more and more often as I go through life. I was a cocky son-of-a-bitch back in the day, where did that go. I need that again. I'm trying to make myself seem confident to do my best, but I start being shaky, because I'm no so confident in actuality. For example, why is it that I can play a C major scale on my sax at eigth-note equals 240 up and down, and in thirds for about an hour with no mistakes, and then I walk into my lesson and I can't get passed the 5th note before I flub something? Its because I don't have a sense of confidence in myself. I really, really need that back. It was like I suddenly was in awe of all these great players, even though back when i was in high school I could have played with most of them. I mean seriously, what happened.