my english paper
Shauna Lawson
Butler
English 101
19 January 2006
The Beautiful People
Gas filled air, fence after fence, smooth well marked roads, but most of all people with an up turned nose. Nothing bothers me more than an unthankful heart. Working with young people, especially this last year, I’ve come to see a lot of selfish and greedy attitudes. After asking myself why it bothered me so much, I came to the conclusion that I must also have these character flaws.
I’ve had a good marinating of the great U.S of A for quite some time now. Even though I’ve had a few pleasant tastes of Mexico I’m still quite hungry for something more. Where, where would a person like me go? I started to ask around what people thought of me leaving to be a missionary. A lot of them were overjoyed that I would want to do the good dead, but some told me going with out a skill like nursing or a degree in eye care I’d be useless there. Unfortunately I don’t have a passion for eye care nor cutting people open. After this and once the shock of my youth pastor going to jail wore off, I got very discouraged and I gave up on my own dreams. For a long time I stopped playing instruments, reading, exercising, it’s like I let them control my life.
Luckily I started talking to my dad and he reminded me that I’ve never done well with authority so why should I listen to any of them now. A smile crept across my face, because I knew he was right. Just because they are old farts that stare at an off white wall all day as their job, doesn’t mean in any way that I should let that become my lot in life.
Slowly but surely my fathers words started to change my out look. They helped me see things I blinded myself to before. Mr. Eborly, who is a nationally proclaimed prophet who I never talked to before, told me one Sunday I would be a missionary and to first get the schooling I desired. Regrettably it’s hard for me to have such great faith to believe that some man would know, by God, my life plan. Fortunately it is what I agree is my life passion. The part I didn’t like was the “school first” part.
My Dad is constantly talks of his glory days in college. He played starting running back in Oregon at a four year college, after that he owned a Mexican restaurant La Esperanza, and now is a pastor. In other words he’s a hard act to fallow. I’ve flunked seven English classes, remember that’s not counting math, and not a day went by I didn’t sleep on the floor during my high school career. In other words I loved school. No I really did…well the social part anyway, that counts right? So now we’re all graduating and people from my former school River Side Christian are asking me what I’m going to do with my life. I’d usually stare them right in the eyes with a straight face and tell them I was going to become a whale hunter in Alaska or I’d do the, “Well I’m apprenticing a drug dealer pimp right now” and then I’d do a little Scottish dance number on their virgin ears and good willed Christian heart.
I was so rebellious I was ready to join a hippy convent and just forget about it. Then people at my church started telling me how they loved college so, so, so, so, much and that if I didn’t go I was going to ruin my life. During that time I was going through a thoughtful phase and I took their word under consideration. That combined with my dads glory stories motivated me enough to come to BCC and talk to George Walker about joining the soccer team. He put great dreams in my head how we’d be number one. I agreed and applied to bcc to start my schooling that I had so rebelliously disagreed with.
As I was walking to my car a week ago to drive to school their nasally, condescending voices that asked that same question popped into my mind. If you go there, what would be your purpose? Well the obvious, I would help build houses, sing songs, play music. Then I realized my favorite thing to do that I’ve never given up on, is soccer. If I could go there and coach a young kids team or maybe play on one myself, which would make me ecstatic.
There are so many things that I want to now accomplish and not just accomplish but do. When I think accomplish I think goal, my goal is to make others lives better by helping them build houses, get clean food and water, have clothes on their back. Not only that but I want to do, when I think do I think adventure. I want to do things I’ve never done before, go places I’ve never seen before, and most of all meet people I’ve never met before. I want to make relationships and let people in. I don’t only want to change their lives for the better, I want to change mine. I know I have an American mentality that I want to be changed. I don’t want to be so selfish, conceded, or judgmental. I try not to be now, but I still have to try sometimes and that needs to change. I want the way I see the world to be as the world is, not as I’ve been taught ti see the world. I want to see harsh reality, even though it will be hard to see suffering it would be better than living a life of ignorance.
I’m one of those deep life thinkers, I think stuff like ‘what the crap are we here for?’, ‘uh, what’s my purpose?’ ‘whose going to make me dinner?’. After living these grand nineteen years on earth I’ve come to a couple conclusions. We could be here so God can laugh at all the stupid things we do, or maybe just so we can have fun and make each others lives more interesting if not better. So all in all my goal is to live life to the fullest, and make it a fun game where I don’t let people put constraints on the way I intend to live my exciting life.
Butler
English 101
19 January 2006
The Beautiful People
Gas filled air, fence after fence, smooth well marked roads, but most of all people with an up turned nose. Nothing bothers me more than an unthankful heart. Working with young people, especially this last year, I’ve come to see a lot of selfish and greedy attitudes. After asking myself why it bothered me so much, I came to the conclusion that I must also have these character flaws.
I’ve had a good marinating of the great U.S of A for quite some time now. Even though I’ve had a few pleasant tastes of Mexico I’m still quite hungry for something more. Where, where would a person like me go? I started to ask around what people thought of me leaving to be a missionary. A lot of them were overjoyed that I would want to do the good dead, but some told me going with out a skill like nursing or a degree in eye care I’d be useless there. Unfortunately I don’t have a passion for eye care nor cutting people open. After this and once the shock of my youth pastor going to jail wore off, I got very discouraged and I gave up on my own dreams. For a long time I stopped playing instruments, reading, exercising, it’s like I let them control my life.
Luckily I started talking to my dad and he reminded me that I’ve never done well with authority so why should I listen to any of them now. A smile crept across my face, because I knew he was right. Just because they are old farts that stare at an off white wall all day as their job, doesn’t mean in any way that I should let that become my lot in life.
Slowly but surely my fathers words started to change my out look. They helped me see things I blinded myself to before. Mr. Eborly, who is a nationally proclaimed prophet who I never talked to before, told me one Sunday I would be a missionary and to first get the schooling I desired. Regrettably it’s hard for me to have such great faith to believe that some man would know, by God, my life plan. Fortunately it is what I agree is my life passion. The part I didn’t like was the “school first” part.
My Dad is constantly talks of his glory days in college. He played starting running back in Oregon at a four year college, after that he owned a Mexican restaurant La Esperanza, and now is a pastor. In other words he’s a hard act to fallow. I’ve flunked seven English classes, remember that’s not counting math, and not a day went by I didn’t sleep on the floor during my high school career. In other words I loved school. No I really did…well the social part anyway, that counts right? So now we’re all graduating and people from my former school River Side Christian are asking me what I’m going to do with my life. I’d usually stare them right in the eyes with a straight face and tell them I was going to become a whale hunter in Alaska or I’d do the, “Well I’m apprenticing a drug dealer pimp right now” and then I’d do a little Scottish dance number on their virgin ears and good willed Christian heart.
I was so rebellious I was ready to join a hippy convent and just forget about it. Then people at my church started telling me how they loved college so, so, so, so, much and that if I didn’t go I was going to ruin my life. During that time I was going through a thoughtful phase and I took their word under consideration. That combined with my dads glory stories motivated me enough to come to BCC and talk to George Walker about joining the soccer team. He put great dreams in my head how we’d be number one. I agreed and applied to bcc to start my schooling that I had so rebelliously disagreed with.
As I was walking to my car a week ago to drive to school their nasally, condescending voices that asked that same question popped into my mind. If you go there, what would be your purpose? Well the obvious, I would help build houses, sing songs, play music. Then I realized my favorite thing to do that I’ve never given up on, is soccer. If I could go there and coach a young kids team or maybe play on one myself, which would make me ecstatic.
There are so many things that I want to now accomplish and not just accomplish but do. When I think accomplish I think goal, my goal is to make others lives better by helping them build houses, get clean food and water, have clothes on their back. Not only that but I want to do, when I think do I think adventure. I want to do things I’ve never done before, go places I’ve never seen before, and most of all meet people I’ve never met before. I want to make relationships and let people in. I don’t only want to change their lives for the better, I want to change mine. I know I have an American mentality that I want to be changed. I don’t want to be so selfish, conceded, or judgmental. I try not to be now, but I still have to try sometimes and that needs to change. I want the way I see the world to be as the world is, not as I’ve been taught ti see the world. I want to see harsh reality, even though it will be hard to see suffering it would be better than living a life of ignorance.
I’m one of those deep life thinkers, I think stuff like ‘what the crap are we here for?’, ‘uh, what’s my purpose?’ ‘whose going to make me dinner?’. After living these grand nineteen years on earth I’ve come to a couple conclusions. We could be here so God can laugh at all the stupid things we do, or maybe just so we can have fun and make each others lives more interesting if not better. So all in all my goal is to live life to the fullest, and make it a fun game where I don’t let people put constraints on the way I intend to live my exciting life.