Feb 23, 2008 22:57
the soccer season starts in two weeks. i have no idea what i'm going to do. i haven't been training as hard as i know i should. but it's too late for that now. i'm so scared. i haven't been this scared in my entire life. god this is the most important thing in the world to me. i love soccer more than anything.
i scored tonight, but i played badly. ack we have another game tomorrow. god i want this so bad. the more i think, the worse i do. i just can't stop thinking about what it will feel like not making the team. i don't even want to think about it but i can't stop.
i've been doing so well lately, eight goals last session of indoor. we had our first game of third session and i scored. had to have gotten at least 20 assists over last session. but idk i still feel like i'm lacking something. it's not my want, my hard work, or my love for the game. there's jst that part of me where i don't stand out. i have no confidence.
so i'm going to go out there tomorrow and try my damn hardest, like always and hope that someone notices. and i don't end up crying at the end of the game.
oh also, i janked up my shin tonight. the other keeper and i went at each other full speed and she must've used her foot to stop me or something but i was sure i felt mt shin snap. it's just bruised and bumped but it still hurts like hell. so there's another thing to play through. comeon dayna.
~ya