(no subject)
Title: From Pegasus, With Love
Author: soleta
Spoilers: Critical Mass
Rating: PG
Pairings: McKay/Sheppard, a bit of Ronon/Teyla and Ronon/Weir
AN: Written for the sga_flashfic Documentation challenge. Oddly enough, it took an hour to write and about seven to format.
Received in Atlantis during a post run after the attempted invasion; Dr. Kavanagh is nearly elbowed in the head in the general rush to get their mail without being elbowed in the head. Sadly, Dr. Kavanagh fails.
Received at the SGC in Cheyenne Mountain a week after the attempted bombing of Atlantis. General O'Neill almost decides to burn it, but heaves a long suffering sigh - a very long suffering sigh - and slits it open with more force than is strictly necessary.
Ronon Dex, Specialist
Now, imagine you're a lonely, bored mail server admin when suddenly you recognize an unfamiliar name in the incoming list.
You're very bored.
You click.
From: j.oneill@airforce.gov
To: a.kavanagh@airforce.gov
Date: Tues, May 2, 2006 10:16 AM
Subject: Your allegations of 4/26/06
Dr. Kavanagh, all your allegations have been investigated and proven to be without merit.
On the other hand, thank you for the personnel file; it was extremely interesting reading.
Brig. Gen. J. O'Neill
This information is classified. Distribution to anyone without the proper security clearance carries consequences including and not limited to the following; fines up to $30, 000 or the equivalent; up to ten (10) years in federal prison; revocation of security clearance; revocation of citizenship or resident alien status; and/or deportment.
From: j.oneill@airforce.gov
To: e.weir@atlantis.gov
CC: j.sheppard@atlantis.gov
Date: Tues, May 2, 2006 10:18 AM
Subject: You tortured Kavanagh?!
Are you insane?
At least you didn't record it.
(Is this Ronon guy as impressive as he sounds?)
Jack
This information is classified. Distribution to anyone without the proper security clearance carries consequences including and not limited to the following; fines up to $30, 000 or the equivalent; up to ten (10) years in federal prison; revocation of security clearance; revocation of citizenship or resident alien status; and/or deportment.
attachments: akavanagh1.jpg, akavanagh2.jpg
From: e.weir@atlantis.gov
To: j.oneill@airforce.gov
CC: j.sheppard@atlantis.gov
Date: Tues, May 2, 2006 10:22 AM
Subject: Re: You tortured Kavanagh?!
Don't remind me.
Are we in trouble?
Elizabeth
This information is classified. Distribution to anyone without the proper security clearance carries consequences including and not limited to the following; fines up to $30, 000 or the equivalent; up to ten (10) years in federal prison; revocation of security clearance; revocation of citizenship or resident alien status; and/or deportment.
From: j.sheppard@atlantis.gov
To: r.mckay@atlantis.gov, ronon@atlantis.gov, teyla@atlantis.gov
Date: Tues, May 2, 2006 10:24 AM
Subject: Fwd: You tortured Kavanagh?!
We are in so much shit.
John
>attachments: akavanagh2.jpg
This information is classified. Distribution to anyone without the proper security clearance carries consequences including and not limited to the following; fines up to $30, 000 or the equivalent; up to ten (10) years in federal prison; revocation of security clearance; revocation of citizenship or resident alien status; and/or deportment.
From: j.sheppard@atlantis.gov
To: r.mckay@atlantis.gov, ronon@atlantis.gov, teyla@atlantis.gov
Date: Tues, May 2, 2006 10:25 AM
Subject: Kavanagh
Don't do anything stupid. I'm looking at both of you, Rodney and Ronon.
John
This information is classified. Distribution to anyone without the proper security clearance carries consequences including and not limited to the following; fines up to $30, 000 or the equivalent; up to ten (10) years in federal prison; revocation of security clearance; revocation of citizenship or resident alien status; and/or deportment.
From: r.mckay@atlantis.gov
To: j.sheppard@atlantis.gov
Date: Tues, May 2, 2006 10:27 AM
Subject: Re: Kavanagh
Who said anything about doing something stupid? I was only going to crash his bank account and revoke his credit rating.
RM
This information is classified. Distribution to anyone without the proper security clearance carries consequences including and not limited to the following; fines up to $30, 000 or the equivalent; up to ten (10) years in federal prison; revocation of security clearance; revocation of citizenship or resident alien status; and/or deportment.
From: j.sheppard@atlantis.gov
To: r.mckay@atlantis.gov
Date: Tues, May 2, 2006 10:28 AM
Subject: Re: Re: Kavanagh
You can do that?
This information is classified. Distribution to anyone without the proper security clearance carries consequences including and not limited to the following; fines up to $30, 000 or the equivalent; up to ten (10) years in federal prison; revocation of security clearance; revocation of citizenship or resident alien status; and/or deportment.
From: j.sheppard@atlantis.gov
To: r.mckay@atlantis.gov
Date: Tues, May 2, 2006 10:28 AM
Subject: Re: Re: Kavanagh
No, no, forget I said that. It's really not necessary.
John
This information is classified. Distribution to anyone without the proper security clearance carries consequences including and not limited to the following; fines up to $30, 000 or the equivalent; up to ten (10) years in federal prison; revocation of security clearance; revocation of citizenship or resident alien status; and/or deportment.
From: r.mckay@atlantis.gov
To: j.sheppard@atlantis.gov
Date: Tues, May 2, 2006 11:45 AM
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Kavanagh
Too late.
RM
This information is classified. Distribution to anyone without the proper security clearance carries consequences including and not limited to the following; fines up to $30, 000 or the equivalent; up to ten (10) years in federal prison; revocation of security clearance; revocation of citizenship or resident alien status; and/or deportment.
From: j.oneill@airforce.gov
To: e.weir@atlantis.gov
CC: j.sheppard@atlantis.gov
Date: Tues, May 2, 2006 11:09 AM
Subject: Re: Re: You tortured Kavanagh?!
No, we've got bigger things to worry about. Like, say, aliens? Besides, it's he-said-she-said stuff, it's like trying to prosecute date rape cases.
If it were up to me, you three would be getting commendations.
Jack
This information is classified. Distribution to anyone without the proper security clearance carries consequences including and not limited to the following; fines up to $30, 000 or the equivalent; up to ten (10) years in federal prison; revocation of security clearance; revocation of citizenship or resident alien status; and/or deportment.
From: j.sheppard@atlantis.gov
To: r.mckay@atlantis.gov, ronon@atlantis.gov, teyla@atlantis.gov
Date: Tues, May 2, 2006 11:12 AM
Subject: Fwd: Re: Re: You tortured Kavanagh?!
False alarm. Thank god.
This information is classified. Distribution to anyone without the proper security clearance carries consequences including and not limited to the following; fines up to $30, 000 or the equivalent; up to ten (10) years in federal prison; revocation of security clearance; revocation of citizenship or resident alien status; and/or deportment.
written by j.oneill@airforce.gov:
No, we've got bigger things to worry about. Like, say, aliens? Besides, it's he-said-she-said stuff, it's like trying to prosecute date rape cases.
>If it were up to me, you three would be getting commendations.
>Jack
>This information is classified. Distribution to anyone without the proper security clearance carries consequences including and not limited
>to the following; fines up to $30, 000 or the equivalent; up to ten (10) years in federal prison; revocation of security clearance; revocation of
>citizenship or resident alien status; and/or deportment.
>written by e.weir@atlantis.gov:
>>Don't remind me.
>>Are we in trouble?
>>Elizabeth
>>This information is classified. Distribution to anyone without the proper security clearance carries consequences including and
>>not limited to the following; fines up to $30, 000 or the equivalent; up to ten (10) years in federal prison; revocation of security clearance;
>>revocation of citizenship or resident alien status; and/or deportment.
From: j.sheppard@atlantis.gov
To: r.mckay@atlantis.gov
Date: Tues, May 2, 2006 11:20 AM
Subject:
My place tonight.
This information is classified. Distribution to anyone without the proper security clearance carries consequences including and not limited to the following; fines up to $30, 000 or the equivalent; up to ten (10) years in federal prison; revocation of security clearance; revocation of citizenship or resident alien status; and/or deportment.
From: r.mckay@atlantis.gov
To: j.sheppard@atlantis.gov
Date: Tues, May 2, 2006 11:23 AM
Subject: Re:
Damn right. I know you're the one that has the new Doctor Who bootlegs everyone's paying through the nose for. Give - you owe me.
RM
This information is classified. Distribution to anyone without the proper security clearance carries consequences including and not limited to the following; fines up to $30, 000 or the equivalent; up to ten (10) years in federal prison; revocation of security clearance; revocation of citizenship or resident alien status; and/or deportment.
From: teyla@atlantis.gov
To: j.sheppard@atlantis.gov, e.weir@atlantis.gov, ronon@atlantis.gov
Date: Tues, May 2, 2006 11:31 AM
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: You tortured Kavanagh?!
My apologies for not replying earlier. I am still unused to this technology.
I am glad that none of you are in danger any longer.
Teyla Emmagen
This information is classified. Distribution to anyone without the proper security clearance carries consequences including and not limited to the following; fines up to $30, 000 or the equivalent; up to ten (10) years in federal prison; revocation of security clearance; revocation of citizenship or resident alien status; and/or deportment.
From: ronon@atlantis.gov
To: j.sheppard@atlantis.gov
Date: Tues, May 2, 2006 11:33 AM
Subject: Re: Kavanagh
You never let me have any fun. Unlike Teyla.
Ronon
This information is classified. Distribution to anyone without the proper security clearance carries consequences including and not limited to the following; fines up to $30, 000 or the equivalent; up to ten (10) years in federal prison; revocation of security clearance; revocation of citizenship or resident alien status; and/or deportment.
From: j.sheppard@atlantis.gov
To: r.mckay@atlantis.gov
Date: Tues, May 2, 2006 11:36 AM
Subject: Re: Re:
I think I'm not the only one who got some this morning.
J
This information is classified. Distribution to anyone without the proper security clearance carries consequences including and not limited to the following; fines up to $30, 000 or the equivalent; up to ten (10) years in federal prison; revocation of security clearance; revocation of citizenship or resident alien status; and/or deportment.
Attachments: teyla.txt, ronon.txt
From: r.mckay@atlantis.gov
To: j.sheppard@atlantis.gov
Date: Tues, May 2, 2006 11:36 AM
Subject: Re: Re: Re:
Some things I never wanted to know. God.
Although now that I think about it, the image is seriously hot.
... are you doing anything?
RM
This information is classified. Distribution to anyone without the proper security clearance carries consequences including and not limited to the following; fines up to $30, 000 or the equivalent; up to ten (10) years in federal prison; revocation of security clearance; revocation of citizenship or resident alien status; and/or deportment.
From: j.sheppard@atlantis.gov
To: r.mckay@atlantis.gov
Date: Tues, May 2, 2006 11:37 AM
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re:
Not anymore.
J
This information is classified. Distribution to anyone without the proper security clearance carries consequences including and not limited to the following; fines up to $30, 000 or the equivalent; up to ten (10) years in federal prison; revocation of security clearance; revocation of citizenship or resident alien status; and/or deportment.
From: e.weir@atlantis.gov
To: j.oneill@airforce.gov
Date: Tues, May 2, 2006 11:58 AM
Subject: We all owe you one.
Thanks.
Elizabeth
This information is classified. Distribution to anyone without the proper security clearance carries consequences including and not limited to the following; fines up to $30, 000 or the equivalent; up to ten (10) years in federal prison; revocation of security clearance; revocation of citizenship or resident alien status; and/or deportment.
From: e.weir@atlantis.gov
To: j.oneill@airforce.gov
Date: Tues, May 2, 2006 11:59 AM
Subject: Ronon
And he's better. In every way.
This information is classified. Distribution to anyone without the proper security clearance carries consequences including and not limited to the following; fines up to $30, 000 or the equivalent; up to ten (10) years in federal prison; revocation of security clearance; revocation of citizenship or resident alien status; and/or deportment.
It's enough blackmail material for weeks if you're careful.
You cackle. First, you think, you're going to get those Doctor Who bootlegs. And then, the world!
Author: soleta
Spoilers: Critical Mass
Rating: PG
Pairings: McKay/Sheppard, a bit of Ronon/Teyla and Ronon/Weir
AN: Written for the sga_flashfic Documentation challenge. Oddly enough, it took an hour to write and about seven to format.
Received in Atlantis during a post run after the attempted invasion; Dr. Kavanagh is nearly elbowed in the head in the general rush to get their mail without being elbowed in the head. Sadly, Dr. Kavanagh fails.
Received at the SGC in Cheyenne Mountain a week after the attempted bombing of Atlantis. General O'Neill almost decides to burn it, but heaves a long suffering sigh - a very long suffering sigh - and slits it open with more force than is strictly necessary.
Ronon Dex, Specialist
Now, imagine you're a lonely, bored mail server admin when suddenly you recognize an unfamiliar name in the incoming list.
You're very bored.
You click.
From: j.oneill@airforce.gov
To: a.kavanagh@airforce.gov
Date: Tues, May 2, 2006 10:16 AM
Subject: Your allegations of 4/26/06
Dr. Kavanagh, all your allegations have been investigated and proven to be without merit.
On the other hand, thank you for the personnel file; it was extremely interesting reading.
Brig. Gen. J. O'Neill
This information is classified. Distribution to anyone without the proper security clearance carries consequences including and not limited to the following; fines up to $30, 000 or the equivalent; up to ten (10) years in federal prison; revocation of security clearance; revocation of citizenship or resident alien status; and/or deportment.
From: j.oneill@airforce.gov
To: e.weir@atlantis.gov
CC: j.sheppard@atlantis.gov
Date: Tues, May 2, 2006 10:18 AM
Subject: You tortured Kavanagh?!
Are you insane?
At least you didn't record it.
(Is this Ronon guy as impressive as he sounds?)
Jack
This information is classified. Distribution to anyone without the proper security clearance carries consequences including and not limited to the following; fines up to $30, 000 or the equivalent; up to ten (10) years in federal prison; revocation of security clearance; revocation of citizenship or resident alien status; and/or deportment.
attachments: akavanagh1.jpg, akavanagh2.jpg
From: e.weir@atlantis.gov
To: j.oneill@airforce.gov
CC: j.sheppard@atlantis.gov
Date: Tues, May 2, 2006 10:22 AM
Subject: Re: You tortured Kavanagh?!
Don't remind me.
Are we in trouble?
Elizabeth
This information is classified. Distribution to anyone without the proper security clearance carries consequences including and not limited to the following; fines up to $30, 000 or the equivalent; up to ten (10) years in federal prison; revocation of security clearance; revocation of citizenship or resident alien status; and/or deportment.
From: j.sheppard@atlantis.gov
To: r.mckay@atlantis.gov, ronon@atlantis.gov, teyla@atlantis.gov
Date: Tues, May 2, 2006 10:24 AM
Subject: Fwd: You tortured Kavanagh?!
We are in so much shit.
John
>attachments: akavanagh2.jpg
This information is classified. Distribution to anyone without the proper security clearance carries consequences including and not limited to the following; fines up to $30, 000 or the equivalent; up to ten (10) years in federal prison; revocation of security clearance; revocation of citizenship or resident alien status; and/or deportment.
From: j.sheppard@atlantis.gov
To: r.mckay@atlantis.gov, ronon@atlantis.gov, teyla@atlantis.gov
Date: Tues, May 2, 2006 10:25 AM
Subject: Kavanagh
Don't do anything stupid. I'm looking at both of you, Rodney and Ronon.
John
This information is classified. Distribution to anyone without the proper security clearance carries consequences including and not limited to the following; fines up to $30, 000 or the equivalent; up to ten (10) years in federal prison; revocation of security clearance; revocation of citizenship or resident alien status; and/or deportment.
From: r.mckay@atlantis.gov
To: j.sheppard@atlantis.gov
Date: Tues, May 2, 2006 10:27 AM
Subject: Re: Kavanagh
Who said anything about doing something stupid? I was only going to crash his bank account and revoke his credit rating.
RM
This information is classified. Distribution to anyone without the proper security clearance carries consequences including and not limited to the following; fines up to $30, 000 or the equivalent; up to ten (10) years in federal prison; revocation of security clearance; revocation of citizenship or resident alien status; and/or deportment.
From: j.sheppard@atlantis.gov
To: r.mckay@atlantis.gov
Date: Tues, May 2, 2006 10:28 AM
Subject: Re: Re: Kavanagh
You can do that?
This information is classified. Distribution to anyone without the proper security clearance carries consequences including and not limited to the following; fines up to $30, 000 or the equivalent; up to ten (10) years in federal prison; revocation of security clearance; revocation of citizenship or resident alien status; and/or deportment.
From: j.sheppard@atlantis.gov
To: r.mckay@atlantis.gov
Date: Tues, May 2, 2006 10:28 AM
Subject: Re: Re: Kavanagh
No, no, forget I said that. It's really not necessary.
John
This information is classified. Distribution to anyone without the proper security clearance carries consequences including and not limited to the following; fines up to $30, 000 or the equivalent; up to ten (10) years in federal prison; revocation of security clearance; revocation of citizenship or resident alien status; and/or deportment.
From: r.mckay@atlantis.gov
To: j.sheppard@atlantis.gov
Date: Tues, May 2, 2006 11:45 AM
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Kavanagh
Too late.
RM
This information is classified. Distribution to anyone without the proper security clearance carries consequences including and not limited to the following; fines up to $30, 000 or the equivalent; up to ten (10) years in federal prison; revocation of security clearance; revocation of citizenship or resident alien status; and/or deportment.
From: j.oneill@airforce.gov
To: e.weir@atlantis.gov
CC: j.sheppard@atlantis.gov
Date: Tues, May 2, 2006 11:09 AM
Subject: Re: Re: You tortured Kavanagh?!
No, we've got bigger things to worry about. Like, say, aliens? Besides, it's he-said-she-said stuff, it's like trying to prosecute date rape cases.
If it were up to me, you three would be getting commendations.
Jack
This information is classified. Distribution to anyone without the proper security clearance carries consequences including and not limited to the following; fines up to $30, 000 or the equivalent; up to ten (10) years in federal prison; revocation of security clearance; revocation of citizenship or resident alien status; and/or deportment.
From: j.sheppard@atlantis.gov
To: r.mckay@atlantis.gov, ronon@atlantis.gov, teyla@atlantis.gov
Date: Tues, May 2, 2006 11:12 AM
Subject: Fwd: Re: Re: You tortured Kavanagh?!
False alarm. Thank god.
This information is classified. Distribution to anyone without the proper security clearance carries consequences including and not limited to the following; fines up to $30, 000 or the equivalent; up to ten (10) years in federal prison; revocation of security clearance; revocation of citizenship or resident alien status; and/or deportment.
written by j.oneill@airforce.gov:
No, we've got bigger things to worry about. Like, say, aliens? Besides, it's he-said-she-said stuff, it's like trying to prosecute date rape cases.
>If it were up to me, you three would be getting commendations.
>Jack
>This information is classified. Distribution to anyone without the proper security clearance carries consequences including and not limited
>to the following; fines up to $30, 000 or the equivalent; up to ten (10) years in federal prison; revocation of security clearance; revocation of
>citizenship or resident alien status; and/or deportment.
>written by e.weir@atlantis.gov:
>>Don't remind me.
>>Are we in trouble?
>>Elizabeth
>>This information is classified. Distribution to anyone without the proper security clearance carries consequences including and
>>not limited to the following; fines up to $30, 000 or the equivalent; up to ten (10) years in federal prison; revocation of security clearance;
>>revocation of citizenship or resident alien status; and/or deportment.
From: j.sheppard@atlantis.gov
To: r.mckay@atlantis.gov
Date: Tues, May 2, 2006 11:20 AM
Subject:
My place tonight.
This information is classified. Distribution to anyone without the proper security clearance carries consequences including and not limited to the following; fines up to $30, 000 or the equivalent; up to ten (10) years in federal prison; revocation of security clearance; revocation of citizenship or resident alien status; and/or deportment.
From: r.mckay@atlantis.gov
To: j.sheppard@atlantis.gov
Date: Tues, May 2, 2006 11:23 AM
Subject: Re:
Damn right. I know you're the one that has the new Doctor Who bootlegs everyone's paying through the nose for. Give - you owe me.
RM
This information is classified. Distribution to anyone without the proper security clearance carries consequences including and not limited to the following; fines up to $30, 000 or the equivalent; up to ten (10) years in federal prison; revocation of security clearance; revocation of citizenship or resident alien status; and/or deportment.
From: teyla@atlantis.gov
To: j.sheppard@atlantis.gov, e.weir@atlantis.gov, ronon@atlantis.gov
Date: Tues, May 2, 2006 11:31 AM
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: You tortured Kavanagh?!
My apologies for not replying earlier. I am still unused to this technology.
I am glad that none of you are in danger any longer.
Teyla Emmagen
This information is classified. Distribution to anyone without the proper security clearance carries consequences including and not limited to the following; fines up to $30, 000 or the equivalent; up to ten (10) years in federal prison; revocation of security clearance; revocation of citizenship or resident alien status; and/or deportment.
From: ronon@atlantis.gov
To: j.sheppard@atlantis.gov
Date: Tues, May 2, 2006 11:33 AM
Subject: Re: Kavanagh
You never let me have any fun. Unlike Teyla.
Ronon
This information is classified. Distribution to anyone without the proper security clearance carries consequences including and not limited to the following; fines up to $30, 000 or the equivalent; up to ten (10) years in federal prison; revocation of security clearance; revocation of citizenship or resident alien status; and/or deportment.
From: j.sheppard@atlantis.gov
To: r.mckay@atlantis.gov
Date: Tues, May 2, 2006 11:36 AM
Subject: Re: Re:
I think I'm not the only one who got some this morning.
J
This information is classified. Distribution to anyone without the proper security clearance carries consequences including and not limited to the following; fines up to $30, 000 or the equivalent; up to ten (10) years in federal prison; revocation of security clearance; revocation of citizenship or resident alien status; and/or deportment.
Attachments: teyla.txt, ronon.txt
From: r.mckay@atlantis.gov
To: j.sheppard@atlantis.gov
Date: Tues, May 2, 2006 11:36 AM
Subject: Re: Re: Re:
Some things I never wanted to know. God.
Although now that I think about it, the image is seriously hot.
... are you doing anything?
RM
This information is classified. Distribution to anyone without the proper security clearance carries consequences including and not limited to the following; fines up to $30, 000 or the equivalent; up to ten (10) years in federal prison; revocation of security clearance; revocation of citizenship or resident alien status; and/or deportment.
From: j.sheppard@atlantis.gov
To: r.mckay@atlantis.gov
Date: Tues, May 2, 2006 11:37 AM
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re:
Not anymore.
J
This information is classified. Distribution to anyone without the proper security clearance carries consequences including and not limited to the following; fines up to $30, 000 or the equivalent; up to ten (10) years in federal prison; revocation of security clearance; revocation of citizenship or resident alien status; and/or deportment.
From: e.weir@atlantis.gov
To: j.oneill@airforce.gov
Date: Tues, May 2, 2006 11:58 AM
Subject: We all owe you one.
Thanks.
Elizabeth
This information is classified. Distribution to anyone without the proper security clearance carries consequences including and not limited to the following; fines up to $30, 000 or the equivalent; up to ten (10) years in federal prison; revocation of security clearance; revocation of citizenship or resident alien status; and/or deportment.
From: e.weir@atlantis.gov
To: j.oneill@airforce.gov
Date: Tues, May 2, 2006 11:59 AM
Subject: Ronon
And he's better. In every way.
This information is classified. Distribution to anyone without the proper security clearance carries consequences including and not limited to the following; fines up to $30, 000 or the equivalent; up to ten (10) years in federal prison; revocation of security clearance; revocation of citizenship or resident alien status; and/or deportment.
It's enough blackmail material for weeks if you're careful.
You cackle. First, you think, you're going to get those Doctor Who bootlegs. And then, the world!