I fell in love
I cant express how much I feel like a fool.
that Ive let my guard down and let the biggest disappointment into my heart. fuck it hurts. I cant control the tears or the knots in my heart. funny because I get all choked up in my chest rather in my stomach.
Im so picky about who I let into my heart and yet when I get there I fall into this magical well and I give my heart away so easily. AND to the worst possible candidate!! I feel like I have failed yet again.
I was talking to Seth and told him about some of the guys Ive dated, and his response was, "How does this happen??" He didnt understand how I date these selfish jerks. I told him that I didnt know. But I really gave my heart away this time. I mean... REALLY.
it hurts so much.
Maybe I was a little crazy. Maybe I pushed too hard. Maybe... I was in over my head.
How could I not see this? How could I miss my gut feeling?? I sensed this sweetness in him, an innocense. Was I wrong about that? Or was it really under all of his pain that he carried with him?
Why did he cheat on Lynelle?
Why does he hide himself?
Why does he lie?
And I loved him. I loved him with my whole heart and it scared me.
~I bought a Death Cab For Cutie cd today~ it makes my heart sing.
Thank you Jesus for your love.
that Ive let my guard down and let the biggest disappointment into my heart. fuck it hurts. I cant control the tears or the knots in my heart. funny because I get all choked up in my chest rather in my stomach.
Im so picky about who I let into my heart and yet when I get there I fall into this magical well and I give my heart away so easily. AND to the worst possible candidate!! I feel like I have failed yet again.
I was talking to Seth and told him about some of the guys Ive dated, and his response was, "How does this happen??" He didnt understand how I date these selfish jerks. I told him that I didnt know. But I really gave my heart away this time. I mean... REALLY.
it hurts so much.
Maybe I was a little crazy. Maybe I pushed too hard. Maybe... I was in over my head.
How could I not see this? How could I miss my gut feeling?? I sensed this sweetness in him, an innocense. Was I wrong about that? Or was it really under all of his pain that he carried with him?
Why did he cheat on Lynelle?
Why does he hide himself?
Why does he lie?
And I loved him. I loved him with my whole heart and it scared me.
~I bought a Death Cab For Cutie cd today~ it makes my heart sing.
Thank you Jesus for your love.