(no subject)
Heyyyy. So I'm pretty sad lately. I've forgotten what it's like to be the happy girl. I think I'd hate myself now if I were the happy girl. But I hate myself even more because I don't remember what it's like to be the happy girl. My self esteen hasn't been this bad since I Was in the 9th grade. The year 2000. 9 years ago. Before Aaron. I've become so pathetic. Back to feeling incomplete on my own. That's not healthy. Not at all. And I hate it. I felt like I had a ton to write, to get off my chest. But this isn't doing it. I need to feel like I'm not a burden to my friends. I need someone to sing Saves the Day with. Why does it seem so impossible to find? Why do I feel like giving up at the age of 22? Becuase I'm a miserable person. I think that sums it up. My best friend told me a few weeks ago that I only think of myself. She's apoligized and said she didn't fully mean it. But I don't even feel like I'm good enough to write in my own freaking online journal. My life isn't that bad, but why's it feel like I have nothing to live for? To teach me some kind of horrible lesson. I know this. I'm miserable.