Yeah Yeah Yeah
So, I forgot to talk about how my Dad, the one whose been absent in my life since I was like three, decided to randomly show up at my graduation. It was a shock. He called my name in the crowd of people after and I went toward the name calling because I thought one of my friends was calling me but wait! It was my dead-beat dad. Not only was that moment very weird because it was in a huge crowd of people but he talked to me like we were just hanging out the day before. I have to say that I wasn't very happy to see him and he apparently thought that we were going to have one of those really epic moments where we run into eachother's arms but it was the complete opposite.
I mean I think it would've been a different story had he come around when I was like five, or ten, or you know MY WHOLE LIFE, but I'm eighteen. I'm leaving for school in september and he just now wants to establish a relationship with me? Its weird and it pisses me off. Its too late to establish a relationship. I mean for starters where does that conversation about my life begin. How do I sit down with someone who I don't really even know and just start telling them about all the important things that have happened in the last sixteen years even though they could've been there for them? I don't get it. I'm eighteen fucking years old. I'm an adult(in the legal sense anyhow), and as I keep thinking about everything in my mind I don't see myself wanting to let him into my life.
You know it sucks that he was never there for a birthday, awards program, performance, parent/teacher conference, or ceremony but yet he thinks that he can show up for my shining moment of graduating like he took part in it or something like that. Its dumb. And then he keeps calling and wanting to have lunch or breakfast but doesn't want my mom there. Like he doesn't owe BOTH OF US and explaination and an apology. My mom was left just like I was left but all he wants to do is sit down and tell me his side, like my mom's the bad person. Well, she's not. Never told me bad things about my father but yet wondered how someone who was actually a really good father could just leave like that.
I'm so confused an lost when it comes to this. I've talked to people but some of them have kinda brushed it off. There is one person who I wish I could talk to about it, you all know who I'm talking about I think, but their not even here when I need them the most, even though I've been there for them. They'd understand. Oh, well. What the hell can I do besides write about it? I just hate how all this shit comes baring down on me right after I turn eighteen. Why now?
I mean I think it would've been a different story had he come around when I was like five, or ten, or you know MY WHOLE LIFE, but I'm eighteen. I'm leaving for school in september and he just now wants to establish a relationship with me? Its weird and it pisses me off. Its too late to establish a relationship. I mean for starters where does that conversation about my life begin. How do I sit down with someone who I don't really even know and just start telling them about all the important things that have happened in the last sixteen years even though they could've been there for them? I don't get it. I'm eighteen fucking years old. I'm an adult(in the legal sense anyhow), and as I keep thinking about everything in my mind I don't see myself wanting to let him into my life.
You know it sucks that he was never there for a birthday, awards program, performance, parent/teacher conference, or ceremony but yet he thinks that he can show up for my shining moment of graduating like he took part in it or something like that. Its dumb. And then he keeps calling and wanting to have lunch or breakfast but doesn't want my mom there. Like he doesn't owe BOTH OF US and explaination and an apology. My mom was left just like I was left but all he wants to do is sit down and tell me his side, like my mom's the bad person. Well, she's not. Never told me bad things about my father but yet wondered how someone who was actually a really good father could just leave like that.
I'm so confused an lost when it comes to this. I've talked to people but some of them have kinda brushed it off. There is one person who I wish I could talk to about it, you all know who I'm talking about I think, but their not even here when I need them the most, even though I've been there for them. They'd understand. Oh, well. What the hell can I do besides write about it? I just hate how all this shit comes baring down on me right after I turn eighteen. Why now?