Joe slipped into his coat as quietly as he could. He felt like he was sneaking away, even as Kevin leaned against the doorframe, frowning gently at him.
“You don’t have to go, you know.”
Joe shrugged, pulling his gloves on. “You say that like you know what’s going on.” He murmured. He was tired, and could hear the irritation in his own voice. “If you knew anything, you’d keep your mouth shut.”
Heat flared into Kevin’s face. “That’s not my fault. You’re the one who won’t let me in, even though I could help.”
“You can’t help with this, Kev.” Joe looked up at him, teeth gritted. “This isn’t something the almighty Kevin can fix.”
And, then his big brother was leaving the room, storming off to kill his anger and put a stopper, for the time being, in his frustration, because it wasn’t helping anyone.
Joe sighed, taking the opportunity to slip from the house and out to his car. He didn’t like to upset Kevin, especially since he was just trying to help. He knew he was worried. He knew his aloofness and tendency to snap was uncalled-for, especially since Kevin was the only one trying to look out for him, even if he wasn’t letting him.
The truth of the matter, he knew, even as he pulled out of the driveway, was that he had been very close to taking Kevin’s advice and simply not doing this anymore. After what Matt had done, which was so much worse than anything he had before, this didn’t even seem worth it. He didn’t think anything could convince him to go back and do all this again.
But, then, Nick had come in to his room, looking so nervous, like he was venturing into a sacred space, somewhere he didn’t belong. He had gently asked if Joe was alright, and the way his warm hand settled on his neck, like he was saying, “I’ll be here forever” simply killed him. He couldn’t let anything ruin this boy, even if protecting him meant ruining himself.
So, somehow, it didn’t bother him that he was driving to yet another secluded spot on the outskirts of town to meet on the most vile men he’d ever known, to do things for him that made him hate himself. It didn’t matter, because he was saving Nick.
His gloved hands tightened on the steering wheel. His eyes flicked up toward the rearview mirror, but didn’t recognize the Tahoe following him.
-----------------------------------------------------
Kevin wasn’t the type to let something fester longer than it should. He was over Joe’s callous words in about thirty seconds. (Sometimes, it was enough to just stomp angrily from the room.) So, when Joe thought he’d wounded his brother into leaving him alone, he’d really only driven him into his shoes and coat, and he pulled out of the garage when Joe was at the stop sign at the end of their street.
Really, following him like he was had been something he’d considered doing, even determined to do, but now that it was happening, he didn’t know what to expect. He couldn’t really believe he’d witness his little brother running happily into the arms of a man who had tried to hurt all of them (and succeeded). But, he had trouble coming up with scenarios other than that, mostly because the ones he envisioned were terrifying, so he tried not to think too hard about it.
And, he had no idea what he would do if and when he saw Matt. He couldn’t quite promise himself that he wouldn’t just slam into him with his truck, feeling fully satisfied with the thud of his body crumpling against the hood, but he wasn’t more sure of the fact that he wanted Matt killed than that he wanted answers. He needed to know what he’d done in order to deserve his inevitable death.
He stopped at a red light, pushing his palm against the edge of the steering wheel in frustration. Relief flooded through him to see Joe’s car turning into an empty parking lot only a couple hundred yards away. He was less grateful for the old sports car already parked there.
The light turned green, he pulled into the parking lot. Joe had gotten out, and so had Matt (and Kevin’s stomach turned over at the proof that this was really happening). They both turned to look at his car, the tinted windows hiding his identity. Matt’s face was patiently curious; Joe’s, with a flash of recognition, was full of anxiety and some small measure of betrayal.
Kevin parked beside Joe and killed his engine. His brother met him at his car door, opening it and wrenching him from his seat. “What the hell are you doing here?” he hissed, the grip on his arm not as tight as he meant it. Part of him was grateful.
Kevin shrugged, his eyes flitting over to Matt, who had an infuriatingly smug look on his face. “It’s my job to take care of you.” He said softly. “I haven’t been doing a good job, and it’s about time I start.”
“Damn it, Kevin!” Joe hugged him tightly, gratefully, despite the anger and terror coursing through him. “Don’t do this. I need you to go home. Go take care of Nick; you’re his big brother too.” He pulled away, sniffling and biting harshly at his lip. His cheeks were rosy with the cold. “He’s - God, Kevin. He’s not making me do anything I didn’t agree to.” His eyes were a little harder when he looked up at him again. “Go home. I can take care of myself.”
“If you can, then do it, Joseph!” Kevin caught his face in his hands. “Stop coming home hurt and scaring the shit out of Nick and me.” He looked up over to Matt again. He wanted to cut the amused, victorious smile off his mouth. “You can come home with me right now, and it’ll be fine.”
“No, it won’t, Kevin!” Joe cried, pushing Kevin back towards the car again. “It won’t be fine, because it won’t just end like that! You’re insane to think that! Now go the fuck home! I don’t need you to take care of me.”
Kevin bristled. The lie was so obvious, so blatant, and the indignation he felt about it had him in the driver’s seat in only a few seconds. “You know what. Fine. Fine; take care of yourself.” He reached over and pulled the door shut, then rolled down the window. “But, don’t fucking call me when he hurts you again. I refuse to help you, not if you don’t want it.”
Joe stared at him, relief and uncertainty battling for dominance in his face. Sure, he was trying so hard to get his brother to leave, but at the same time, not being able to lean on him afterwards would be hard. Finally, he nodded. “Okay. I’ll see you at home.” He didn’t wait for an answer. He just turned and moved back toward Matt. He forced a weak smile. “He’ll be gone soon.”
Matt’s eyebrow lifted. “Sure you should talk to your brothers that way, Joseph?” The almost-gleeful condescension in his voice was sickening.
“Just shut up, okay?” Joe glared at him. “You don’t know anything about it. Now can we just get this over with?” He didn’t wait for an answer, yanking open the back door of his truck and climbing in.
Matt was right behind him, pulling the door shut. The click of the lock sounded as ominous as ever. “So,” his voice was slow, almost sultry, and he reached over to brush the hair off Joe’s neck, his fingertips dancing across his skin. “Last time was fun, don’t you think?”
Joe just shivered, tilting his head away, closing his eyes, trying to escape this moment even as he wanted to just be done with it. “Yeah, it was a real party.” He murmured, sarcasm staining his voice.
Matt’s fingers curled in Joe’s hair, wrenching his head back harshly. “Don’t take that tone with me.” He scolded, but the lazy smile returned to his face almost immediately. “What’s say we do something like that again today?”
“Something like what?” Joe bristled. He couldn’t imagine doing what he’d done to him last time. It just wasn’t in him; he couldn’t do it again. “Please don’t make me-”
Matt hushed him, drawing him over across the seat, placing his hand unnervingly over his mouth. “I just thought,” he breathed against his ear, “that we could take our relationship to the next level.” To emphasize this, he flicked the button of Joe’s jeans.
His eyes widened, and he struggled against his grip, which was surprisingly firm. He could practically feel the bruises forming across his jaw from his fingers. He clutched at them, trying to pry them away, so he could beg him not to do this, not to make him do this again. As it was, his pleading sounds just sounded muffled and useless, and he knew better than to bite him; that would only lead to hurting more.
“Mmm,” Matt pressed kisses along his neck that made him feel dirty, even if he delved into his underwear to touch him. He jerked his hips back away from his hand, writhing, trying to make this stop. “Hey, you’ll enjoy it more if you relax, Joey.” He cooed against his ear, flicking his tongue out to trace the shell. “Take your pants off.”
Joe shivered at the anticipation, the horrifying future that lay in those words. His hands clutched at the waistband of his pants, and he flinched when he heard the zipper of Matt’s. “Do it.” His voice was gruff. “I want to see you.”
Joe closed his eyes, but couldn’t move. Matt sighed, exasperated. “Scream, and you’re dead.” He hissed, and his hand left its place on his mouth, and both moved to his pants, tugging them down, just halfway down his thighs, just enough to leave him completely exposed. His hot breath returned to his ear, and he moaned softly. “You wouldn’t happen to have any lube on you, would you?”
That was when Joe really started struggling. His eyes flashed open, and he launched himself from Matt with a strength he didn’t even realize he’d possessed. Turning, pressed against the door, he glared at him. “Fuck no!” He yelled, not aware of, or not concerned with, the fact that he was still exposed. “There’s no way I’m losing my virginity to you, asshole!”
Matt’s grin was a little more lewd as he moved toward him. “Well,” he pinned his arms against the door, their mouths hovering close, “I did forget that little fact. With how well you move that body of yours onstage, I’d have thought you lost your virginity years ago.” He shrugged. “Just means this’ll be all the better for me.”
Joe fumed. “I didn’t agree to this.” His voice was low. “I never agreed to anything like this.”
“Well, you do this, and I leave our little Nicky alone.” Matt pressed his hips into Joe’s, moaning at the skin-on-skin contact that was making Joe sick. “Otherwise, I’m sure I could get him to agree to this.”
Joe’s heart failed him. Right then, he was sure he was going to die, simply because he wanted to. There was Nick to think about. He needed to protect Nick. But, hell, Nick would never expect him to do this. He would never expect him to go through with this, and Matt couldn’t get to him if Joe and Kevin were looking out for him.
With that in mind, with some weird feeling of hope, he took a deep, calming breath, then spit directly in Matt’s face.
He flinched at the saliva on his skin, then slowly lifted his hand to wipe it off. “Well, that was stupid, Joseph.” He sighed, sounding almost disappointed. Suddenly, he pushed Joe onto his stomach against the seat. “Too bad. I was going to make sure it didn’t hurt. Now you don’t really deserve it, do you?”
Joe gasped, feeling the head of Matt’s erection against his entrance. His hands flailed, looking for something to grab onto, to get away from him. He found the seatbelt and tried to drag himself out from under him. “Don’t!” His voice sounded strained, terrified, and he realized how weak he’d become; he couldn’t displace Matt’s weight on him. “Don’t.”
Matt grinned. Joe couldn’t see it, but he could feel it. Without warning, he thrust into him.
------------------
Kevin sat in his car for a long time, listening to the radio. His hands were tight around the steering wheel. He was fuming, and couldn’t bring himself to calm down enough to move, to put his car in park and drive away. But, then, how could he really expect himself to? Less than twenty feet away, Joe was in the back of a car doing God knows what with a man they all hated. What could he say to himself that would make it okay to leave his little brother here with someone who had done nothing but hurt him?
That was really why he couldn’t leave. He couldn’t really find it in himself to leave Joe here when he could need him. But, then, all he was doing now was sitting in his car, tuning out the world. He could be saving him from whatever was happening, instead of putting the pieces back together later.
And, he didn’t know why it had taken him so long to say that, to allow himself to realize that, but he knew he couldn’t just leave. He killed him engine, took a deep breath, and opened his car door.
As soon as he did, the sound of wails rang through his ears. Joe. He ran over to the car, jerking the handle. It was locked. His little brother was in pain, inside of this truck, and he couldn’t get in to help him. “Fuck. Joe! Joe, can you hear me?” he shouted, pounding on the window, and then the sound of anguish in Joe’s voice killed part of him, because he couldn’t hear him. He was crying, sobbing, because he hadn’t stopped this before it happened.
And, suddenly, he stopped thinking altogether, stopped considering any of the consequences, and smashed his elbow into the window. It didn’t give, but when he tried again, it shattered. He didn’t think about the pain in his arm. All he could register was the lock on the inside of the door as he clicked it open, the wailing of the car alarm, and then he pulled the door open, saw Matt there pressing his little brother into the seat, hurting him, and he forgot everything.
“Get the fuck away from him!”
He wrenched him out of the car, slamming him into the ground. Kevin followed, straddling his knees, just so he could effectively grip his t-shirt lifting him up enough for his fist to collide as hard as it possibly could with his face. He had never been so angry in his life. He had never experienced this kind of vengeful rage for anyone.
Joe curled up on the seat, sobbing. He had no idea what was going on, no idea how he’d gotten free of Matt. He just knew it hurt; everything in him hurt, and he didn’t think it would ever feel better. No part of him would ever stop being in pain. He managed to lift his head, his bleary eyes wandering over to focus in the direction of the commotion he heard. When his vision focused, he realized what was happening, watched as Kevin effectively crushed his fist over and over into Matt’s helpless body, and he couldn’t help but shout, “No!” despite himself. Kevin couldn’t do this. If he did, Nick would be in danger. He couldn’t protect him. He couldn’t even protect himself.
Somehow, he managed to pull his pants up, just enough to stumble from the truck, landing on his knees when he realized it hurt too much to walk. “Kevin! Please, stop! Don’t!”
His brother turned to look at him, immediately moving over toward him when he saw how terrible he looked. “Joe, are you-?” He cut off with an “Oof!” when Matt launched himself at him with a growl, knocking him onto his back, immediately laying into him with his fists, his knee on his stomach keeping him from moving.
And, then something clicked in Joe’s head. Here was this man who had been blackmailing him into doing all sorts of things he never, ever wanted to do with anyone besides Nick, who had just raped him. He had been making his life miserable for months, had broken Nick’s heart, had made him break Nick’s heart, and now he was right in front of him, hurting his brother. He was here hurting one of the two most important people in his life, and he was telling the wrong person to stop.
Later in his life, Matt would think back to this and say he never in a million years expected it when he was pulled by his hair off of the eldest Jonas brother, and slammed back into the corner of the SUV there. He ricocheted off it, landing on his stomach, his jaw jarring against the pavement. There was blood in his mouth as he raised himself to his knees, coughing.
He didn’t stay there long. Joe kicked him sharply in the stomach, completely ignoring the pain, and he was over on his side in a moment. He was sobbing, even as he released on Matt’s body every pent-up ounce of hatred he had for him. “You will never touch any member of my family again!” He sobbed at him, kicking him squarely in the chest. “You will never hurt any of them!”
“Joe!” Kevin gasped, climbing to his feet and wrapping his arms around him, pulling him back and against him. Joe just sagged against him, pressing his face into his neck, shaking. Kevin turned his gaze on Matt, thoughtfully. They had a few options, since it was obvious Matt was completely at their mercy. He licked his lips, vaguely realizing he was bleeding. “You can stay here, or you can run away.” He said quietly to the man still lying on his side on the ground. “But, you will never come near Joe or Nick again, and you will keep your mouth shut about whatever you know about them, or I will call the cops and tell them you raped my brother. Got it?”
Matt glowered up at him, pushing himself up, leaning on his hand as he wiped at his bleeding mouth. Slowly, he nodded.
“Good. Now get the fuck out of here.”
He followed instructions, moving over to his car. He peeled out, flashing his middle finger through the window like that would really make a difference or prove something.
Joe shuddered, sinking to his knees, his fingers tightening in Kevin’s shirt, drawing him down with him. “I feel sick.” He whispered hoarsely.
Kevin held him close, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “I know, Joey.” He rubbed his hand on his back. “We need to get you to a hospital.”
Joe shook his head desperately. “Please don’t make me do that, Kev. Please. Don’t.”
Kevin hesitated, but realized that would be the single most humiliating thing he could do to his brother. Not only did he have to admit to doctors and nurses and their parents that he’d been raped, Nick would find out why and how and by whom. And, the press wouldn’t be far behind; they never were when it came to the Jonas Brothers. Finally, he nodded. “Alright, Joey. Let’s go home.” For the second time in a week, he found himself carrying Joe to his car. Instead of setting him in the front seat, he opened the back door, laying him across it on his side, knowing there was no way he could sit down right now.
He knew that this - this wasn’t something that he’d recover from, not any time soon. He also knew that somehow, he was going to have to explain it all to Nick.