(no subject)
OH PLEASE.
i had a dream the other day while i was napping in the afternoon because i had nothing better to do since i don't have a real job yet and just twelve hours previous i was crying like a little baby because someone hurt my feelings so i was exhausted from all the expended energy/emotions. yeah, lame. so my dream took place at central library in downtown. i was interning there so i was sitting behind the reference desk reading a book because nobody needed my help. everybody is apparently so damn smart they knew how to find what they were looking for. my surroundings didn't look like central library. instead it was really pasadena central, which sucks because it's so ill-lit and the signage is almost non existent. but in my dream it felt like central, it just didn't look like it. obviously dreams don't make sense in the fact that one minute i'm doing something then another second i'm outside somewhere and i have no idea how i got there. well, all i remember is that i discovered that libraries now allow beds in their reading rooms. i'd turn to my left and see a row of beds with people laying in them with books propped up on their heaving chests reading. at first i thought it was cool because that's how i read but then i thought that is not cool because this is the library not your home. don't do that here! go away beds! then all of a sudden i had no shoes on and i was being replaced at the reference desk and i wound up walking down the hall and out to the back of the building where regina (brenda's old co-worker) was MC'ing some kind of event with people all dressed in white. when i showed up she had taken a break and was writing numbers down on a piece of paper with names on it. i went over to the stage where she was standing and looked at the paper and saw my name on it with four double-digit numbers next to it. i also saw other names which i did not recognize with more numbers next to their names. i had no idea what was going on. regina just looked at me and i froze. i started to look around and didn't recognize anybody. suddenly she called someone's name and the man stepped up on stage and she began interrogating him with questions and he was answering them in spanish. with every answer the crowd would cheer for him and his relatives would ferociously clap. i was confused so i left and went back inside the library. i headed straight toward the reference desk and asked the two ladies behind it what was going on outside. then i realized they weren't real librarians but paraprofessionals and i felt appalled that they were allowed to sit at the reference desk to assist patrons when policy states only librarians with an MLIS degree from an accredited library school are allowed to assist patrons at the reference desk. but my confusion over the goings-on outside distracted me from my anal retentiveness about library policy and i asked them what the brouhaha was about outside. they told me that the library was interviewing ppl for positions and that the people outside were the ones that were deemed "freaks" and that's how they go about weeding them out. then i started crying because i remembered that my name was on the "freaks" list. but i didn't understand why because when i took the civil service exam i scored a 95% and four other people scored the same as me and nobody scored higher so WHY? why do i still not have a real interview for a position? then an african-american man appeared next to me and told me that it was ok. that even though i was considered a "freak" as long as i was on a list i would still have a good chance at getting a job. it eased my mind a little but i couldn't stop crying. i put my hands over my face and let the tears seep through the spaces in between my fingers. i wailed and howled like an injured animal. he kept patting me on the shoulder but it didn't stop my cries. then i woke up and decided to go to the mall to look for some jeans.
i had a dream the other day while i was napping in the afternoon because i had nothing better to do since i don't have a real job yet and just twelve hours previous i was crying like a little baby because someone hurt my feelings so i was exhausted from all the expended energy/emotions. yeah, lame. so my dream took place at central library in downtown. i was interning there so i was sitting behind the reference desk reading a book because nobody needed my help. everybody is apparently so damn smart they knew how to find what they were looking for. my surroundings didn't look like central library. instead it was really pasadena central, which sucks because it's so ill-lit and the signage is almost non existent. but in my dream it felt like central, it just didn't look like it. obviously dreams don't make sense in the fact that one minute i'm doing something then another second i'm outside somewhere and i have no idea how i got there. well, all i remember is that i discovered that libraries now allow beds in their reading rooms. i'd turn to my left and see a row of beds with people laying in them with books propped up on their heaving chests reading. at first i thought it was cool because that's how i read but then i thought that is not cool because this is the library not your home. don't do that here! go away beds! then all of a sudden i had no shoes on and i was being replaced at the reference desk and i wound up walking down the hall and out to the back of the building where regina (brenda's old co-worker) was MC'ing some kind of event with people all dressed in white. when i showed up she had taken a break and was writing numbers down on a piece of paper with names on it. i went over to the stage where she was standing and looked at the paper and saw my name on it with four double-digit numbers next to it. i also saw other names which i did not recognize with more numbers next to their names. i had no idea what was going on. regina just looked at me and i froze. i started to look around and didn't recognize anybody. suddenly she called someone's name and the man stepped up on stage and she began interrogating him with questions and he was answering them in spanish. with every answer the crowd would cheer for him and his relatives would ferociously clap. i was confused so i left and went back inside the library. i headed straight toward the reference desk and asked the two ladies behind it what was going on outside. then i realized they weren't real librarians but paraprofessionals and i felt appalled that they were allowed to sit at the reference desk to assist patrons when policy states only librarians with an MLIS degree from an accredited library school are allowed to assist patrons at the reference desk. but my confusion over the goings-on outside distracted me from my anal retentiveness about library policy and i asked them what the brouhaha was about outside. they told me that the library was interviewing ppl for positions and that the people outside were the ones that were deemed "freaks" and that's how they go about weeding them out. then i started crying because i remembered that my name was on the "freaks" list. but i didn't understand why because when i took the civil service exam i scored a 95% and four other people scored the same as me and nobody scored higher so WHY? why do i still not have a real interview for a position? then an african-american man appeared next to me and told me that it was ok. that even though i was considered a "freak" as long as i was on a list i would still have a good chance at getting a job. it eased my mind a little but i couldn't stop crying. i put my hands over my face and let the tears seep through the spaces in between my fingers. i wailed and howled like an injured animal. he kept patting me on the shoulder but it didn't stop my cries. then i woke up and decided to go to the mall to look for some jeans.