Down Under - 02
Title: Down Under
Series: Harry Potter x X-Men
Main Characters: Hermione Granger, Saint-John (Pyro)
Pairings: Hermione x Pyro
Rating: R (may go up)
Genre: Romance, Humor
Warnings: Implied sexual humor, Pyro's blatant sexual innuendo's and mild smut in later chapters.
Summary: How was she supposed to respond when she couldn't even understand half the things that kept coming out of his mouth!?
Down Under
02 Mates pt. 1
By: Banana Flavored Eskimo
“C’arn Sheila. Don’t be shy.”
Shuffling nervously upon her bare feet, honey colored eyes took in the crowded area before her. If she was quite honest with herself, she wasn’t very comfortable.
After the war, she had become weary of being in unknown public spaces and despite the fact that her mind rationalized that the chance of a rogue Death Eater attacking a sunny beach in Sydney was very low.
Yet, she couldn’t quite bring herself to take another step.
“How about we go back to the Bed and Breakfast?”
John frowned.
She was jumpier than a roo.
Two days ago, Jean had walked into his bar leading his sexy sheila behind her. The woman then proceeded to push a duffel bag into his arms, gift her daughter with a kiss on her head and then toss two tickets his way.
Needless to say, he and sheila pulled a sickie.
Who wouldn’t pass up a free trip to Sydney? Especially when he had such a delicious little travelling companion.
The first day they had spent their time watching a Doctor Who marathon - something his sheila apparently adored.
Now it was a new day and he wanted to hit the beach.
He also wanted to see her dressed in a bikini, but he didn’t voice that opinion. Sheila had a bit of a vicious streak in her and he didn’t want to set her off.
Casting a sly look at her, he couldn’t help the grin that tugged at his lips.
Sexy. Made a bloke crack a fat.
Sheila was so sexy and she was still covered up.
Still dressed in her semi-sheer wrap, his eyes trailed down the pale expanse of her long legs in appreciation.
Those curls of hers were piled on top of her head with a clip and she currently had her arms crossed, accentuating that delicious chest of hers.
Hermione tensed.
Swinging her body around, her reflexes kicked in as she did a rather impressive backbend.
John’s eyes went wide as he saw her tight little body bend in a very agreeing angle and a million ideas immediately poured into his head.
Unfortunately, during that idea processing stage, he had been much too distracted and was not able to evade the projectile that Hermione had impressively avoided.
Therefore, he was most definitely not prepared to have the wind knocked out of him from a volleyball flying straight into his gut. Gravity took place and he flew arse over tit into the sand.
“John!”
Falling to her knees, she looked over his abdomen carefully and tried to focus on the fact that he was in pain and not his amazing body.
Coughing, he took in a deep breath and tried to ignore the pain. “Bloody fucking hell!”
Hermione smiled. He was fine.
“Sorry bout’ that mate. Let that one get away…”
Whatever it was that was about to be said was quickly forgotten as the newcomer took a gander at the little chick kneeling beside the bloke he had just knocked over.
“Well hello there sheila.”
Hermione smiled somewhat awkwardly. She hoped that this stranger didn’t pick up on her reaction, but she didn’t particularly like it when sheila came from his lips.
That aggravatingly endearing nickname was reserved for Saint-John - not that she’d ever tell him that in fear of stroking that overly large ego of his.
John - although in obvious pain judging by the bruise that was now rapidly forming on his abdomen - jumped up with surprising agility and faced this newcomer straight on.
He didn’t like the bastard.
The wanker had spiked a volleyball straight to his stomach!
The fact that bloody boofhead was trying to crack on his little chick certainly didn’t endear him any further.
The mystery man, who actually looked like a very cliché surfie with bleached blonde hair and a tan, smiled somewhat tightly. “Sorry again mate. Guess I don’t know my own strength.”
John twitched. He wanted to set him on fire.
Hermione frowned, seeing the tension between the two. She really needed to break this up before they got into a fight. John was actually very laid back, but once his ire was sparked it was like trying to stop a raging inferno.
“It’s quite alright. John wasn’t hurt too badly and his bruise will heal.”
“A pommy? No matter, you’re still a pretty sheila in my book.”
John really wished he had his lighter. Let’s see how flirty this bastard would be once he set his head on fire and got rid of that hair of his.
The brunette, now actually aware just what the word pommy meant, smiled rather tightly. “John? Can we please go back now?”
She knew it was sneaky and rather underhanded, but she could care less.
John grimaced.
Hell. She was looking up at him with those big eyes of hers and she knew very well that he had a hard time saying no when she gave him that look.
“C'mon stay! We're a man down 'n' could use another. Wudeya say mate?
The challenge was clear.
John smirked.
He never did back down from a challenge. “Yer on mate,” he said rather mockingly.
Hermione could only groan as she watched the two begin to posture for dominance.
Bloody hell!
Fuck.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!
There was really no other word to describe the current situation other than being absolutely fucked!
When the game had started, he had stolen a quick kiss from his spewin’ sheila on the sidelines and then proceeded to dodge the slap that had followed.
He then grinned cheekily and called it a good luck kiss.
Guess he should have rooted her because that quick kiss did shit for his luck.
Fifteen minutes in and some fucking bastard from the other team had decided to finally take the game seriously - coz he was kicking arse - had discarded his shirt and bam!
A bleedin’ F.O.H tattoo spread right across the bloody fuckers chest!
If they found out what he was, he was so fucked.
F.O.H, or Friends of Humanity for the racist bigots out there.
Friends of Humanity was a anti-mutant hate group that had started in the US and then spread across the world like wildfire. The guys that joined this club were xenophobic - he was hanging around Sheila too much. Xenophobic? Since when did he know that!? - and quick to spit the dummy. A bad mix and John had the feeling that his new mates were all members.
So focused on the tattoo, he didn’t see the serve coming straight at him and was plowed down - again!
Bints.
She was surrounded by tarts and bints.
The witch supposed it could be somewhat expected. The males that were engaged in the game of volleyball were all ridiculously fit and John fit in quite well. In fact, she thought that he enhanced the scenery, but again she would never admit that aloud.
“He’s hot!”
“I know right?”
Americans.
She wrinkled her nose as she was further subjected to a rather frivolous ranking game of who’s the hottest.
Three other girls were practically in heat as they kept positioning themselves in the most ludicrous ways.
Merlin!
Is this how muggle girls acted these days?
She sincerely hoped not or she doubted the future of her sex.
The witch felt one of the brainless yanks touch her shoulder. “You’re quiet? Who do you think is the hottest?”
“Well judging from the amount of perspiration I would say the one of the far left,” she answered in a low drawl quite worthy of any Slytherin.
Silence met her as she noticed all females giving her a look as if she had two heads.
This time she really did roll her eyes. Apparently sarcasm was lost on them. Shame, she had some rather witty remarks on the end of her tongue.
“MUTIE!”
Snapping her head towards the side, she noticed a small boy with reddish brown fur and a tail being cornered by the men that had been playing volleyball only moments ago.
They had obviously abandoned their game rather quickly in favor or terrorizing a poor child who was a mutant.
Mutant.
A term given to those born with the X gene. This gene usually manifested itself in the form of superhuman powers and abilities. In other cases, the gene manifested in a physical form like excessive hair or claws.
He had probably come to the beach in hopes of finding a meal judging from his rather scruffy appearance and bare feet. Then again, she doubted any proper shoe would fit over his rather long and narrow feet.
The poor thing was absolutely frightened as he tried to hide his features underneath a fraying baseball cap, but to no avail.
Seeing one of them ready to strike, she rose to intervene.
She didn’t need to because John - Saint-John - was already doing so.
John was pissed.
Scratch that, he was fucking enraged.
He had thought he could escape from these idiots after they finished their game, but then he had caught sight of a little dero digging around in the trash.
He hadn’t paid him mind until he noticed one of the racist fuckers that was taking a breather yell something that made him freeze.
“MUTIE.”
At first he had thought he had been outed, but then realized that they were talking about the dero that had been bin diving.
Well fuck.
There went his hope for walking away unscathed.
He sure as hell wasn't gonna let'em thrash a kid.
Catching the arm of the fucking whacka one mid-swing, he pushed the man back. “No need to start a blue. He’s just an ankle biter.”
“Mutie lover are ya?”
John took a breath, his eyes catching his concerned sheila over the shoulder of the racist dimwit before him. He really hoped that she was for mutants because it would hurt to know that she sided with these idiots.
He could feel the flame.
It was like an extension of him.
Someone was cooking pineapples on the barbie.
A smirk tugged at his lips.
Rearing his hand back, he manipulated the flame into his open palm and smiled cockily at their stunned - and somewhat frightened - expressions. “I am a bloody fucking mutant.”
The chaos that followed was absolute pandemonium.
Hermione didn’t think her jaw could drop any lower.
John was a mutant?
Not just any mutant, but a pyrokinetic from they was he was easily manipulating the flames and scaring away those Friends of Humanity bigots.
The daft bints had made their exit long ago in a flurry of clacking heels and high-pitched screams. Really. Who wore heels to the beach? They were probably from some pseudo posh place in California or something like that - the cows.
Some of the men decided to back down and they too fled.
Others weren’t as bright.
Watching as they continued to approach, Hermione decided that it was time to help - in her own magical way.
Risky? Yes, but she would take the tongue lashing from the Australian Ministry later. Besides, she wasn’t above name dropping - hers - to get out of a sticky situation.
A simple wandless stunning spell had them falling like a pile of cauldrons.
“Well, looks like I’m not the only special one,” said John as he crushed his fist to extinguish the flame.
“MUTANTS!”
“FREAKS!”
The sudden jeers from the crowd that had gathered around them at the first sign of trouble alerted the unique trio to their situation.
Hermione was suddenly pulled into John’s arms and she stared up at him in surprise.
Merlin he was brilliant in his ire. He looked positively feral and protective.
She must have caught some tart from sitting with those girls earlier because she wanted to jump him right here and now.
“And that’s our cue.”
Looking down, the two were surprised to see the street urchin grab onto their wrists and they literally vanished from existence.
AN: Part One finished!
Again. Thanks goes to Fiane for helping me out with the slang.
Translation guide:
Roo - short for kangaroo
Pull a sickie - taking a leave from work when you’re perfectly healthy
Crack a fat - get an erection/horny
Flew arse over tit - a crude way of saying one fell down
Took a gander - to look at
Crack on - hit on/flirt
Wudeya - what do you
Spewin’ - angry
Quick to spit the dummy - quick to anger
Plowed down - knocked over
Dero - homeless person/hobo/squatter
Surfie - surfer
Boofhead/Dipstick/Whacka - similar to idiot or something insulting like that
Start a blue - start a fight
Ankle biter - kid
Barbie - Barbeque
Thanks and I hope that you enjoyed this chapter. I WILL DO MY BEST to write the next one before my flight… wow. I just realized. This time next week, I’ll be hanging out in Tokyo with my friends. OMG!
Review?
- Banana Flavored Eskimo
Previous
Series: Harry Potter x X-Men
Main Characters: Hermione Granger, Saint-John (Pyro)
Pairings: Hermione x Pyro
Rating: R (may go up)
Genre: Romance, Humor
Warnings: Implied sexual humor, Pyro's blatant sexual innuendo's and mild smut in later chapters.
Summary: How was she supposed to respond when she couldn't even understand half the things that kept coming out of his mouth!?
Down Under
02 Mates pt. 1
By: Banana Flavored Eskimo
“C’arn Sheila. Don’t be shy.”
Shuffling nervously upon her bare feet, honey colored eyes took in the crowded area before her. If she was quite honest with herself, she wasn’t very comfortable.
After the war, she had become weary of being in unknown public spaces and despite the fact that her mind rationalized that the chance of a rogue Death Eater attacking a sunny beach in Sydney was very low.
Yet, she couldn’t quite bring herself to take another step.
“How about we go back to the Bed and Breakfast?”
John frowned.
She was jumpier than a roo.
Two days ago, Jean had walked into his bar leading his sexy sheila behind her. The woman then proceeded to push a duffel bag into his arms, gift her daughter with a kiss on her head and then toss two tickets his way.
Needless to say, he and sheila pulled a sickie.
Who wouldn’t pass up a free trip to Sydney? Especially when he had such a delicious little travelling companion.
The first day they had spent their time watching a Doctor Who marathon - something his sheila apparently adored.
Now it was a new day and he wanted to hit the beach.
He also wanted to see her dressed in a bikini, but he didn’t voice that opinion. Sheila had a bit of a vicious streak in her and he didn’t want to set her off.
Casting a sly look at her, he couldn’t help the grin that tugged at his lips.
Sexy. Made a bloke crack a fat.
Sheila was so sexy and she was still covered up.
Still dressed in her semi-sheer wrap, his eyes trailed down the pale expanse of her long legs in appreciation.
Those curls of hers were piled on top of her head with a clip and she currently had her arms crossed, accentuating that delicious chest of hers.
Hermione tensed.
Swinging her body around, her reflexes kicked in as she did a rather impressive backbend.
John’s eyes went wide as he saw her tight little body bend in a very agreeing angle and a million ideas immediately poured into his head.
Unfortunately, during that idea processing stage, he had been much too distracted and was not able to evade the projectile that Hermione had impressively avoided.
Therefore, he was most definitely not prepared to have the wind knocked out of him from a volleyball flying straight into his gut. Gravity took place and he flew arse over tit into the sand.
“John!”
Falling to her knees, she looked over his abdomen carefully and tried to focus on the fact that he was in pain and not his amazing body.
Coughing, he took in a deep breath and tried to ignore the pain. “Bloody fucking hell!”
Hermione smiled. He was fine.
“Sorry bout’ that mate. Let that one get away…”
Whatever it was that was about to be said was quickly forgotten as the newcomer took a gander at the little chick kneeling beside the bloke he had just knocked over.
“Well hello there sheila.”
Hermione smiled somewhat awkwardly. She hoped that this stranger didn’t pick up on her reaction, but she didn’t particularly like it when sheila came from his lips.
That aggravatingly endearing nickname was reserved for Saint-John - not that she’d ever tell him that in fear of stroking that overly large ego of his.
John - although in obvious pain judging by the bruise that was now rapidly forming on his abdomen - jumped up with surprising agility and faced this newcomer straight on.
He didn’t like the bastard.
The wanker had spiked a volleyball straight to his stomach!
The fact that bloody boofhead was trying to crack on his little chick certainly didn’t endear him any further.
The mystery man, who actually looked like a very cliché surfie with bleached blonde hair and a tan, smiled somewhat tightly. “Sorry again mate. Guess I don’t know my own strength.”
John twitched. He wanted to set him on fire.
Hermione frowned, seeing the tension between the two. She really needed to break this up before they got into a fight. John was actually very laid back, but once his ire was sparked it was like trying to stop a raging inferno.
“It’s quite alright. John wasn’t hurt too badly and his bruise will heal.”
“A pommy? No matter, you’re still a pretty sheila in my book.”
John really wished he had his lighter. Let’s see how flirty this bastard would be once he set his head on fire and got rid of that hair of his.
The brunette, now actually aware just what the word pommy meant, smiled rather tightly. “John? Can we please go back now?”
She knew it was sneaky and rather underhanded, but she could care less.
John grimaced.
Hell. She was looking up at him with those big eyes of hers and she knew very well that he had a hard time saying no when she gave him that look.
“C'mon stay! We're a man down 'n' could use another. Wudeya say mate?
The challenge was clear.
John smirked.
He never did back down from a challenge. “Yer on mate,” he said rather mockingly.
Hermione could only groan as she watched the two begin to posture for dominance.
Bloody hell!
Fuck.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!
There was really no other word to describe the current situation other than being absolutely fucked!
When the game had started, he had stolen a quick kiss from his spewin’ sheila on the sidelines and then proceeded to dodge the slap that had followed.
He then grinned cheekily and called it a good luck kiss.
Guess he should have rooted her because that quick kiss did shit for his luck.
Fifteen minutes in and some fucking bastard from the other team had decided to finally take the game seriously - coz he was kicking arse - had discarded his shirt and bam!
A bleedin’ F.O.H tattoo spread right across the bloody fuckers chest!
If they found out what he was, he was so fucked.
F.O.H, or Friends of Humanity for the racist bigots out there.
Friends of Humanity was a anti-mutant hate group that had started in the US and then spread across the world like wildfire. The guys that joined this club were xenophobic - he was hanging around Sheila too much. Xenophobic? Since when did he know that!? - and quick to spit the dummy. A bad mix and John had the feeling that his new mates were all members.
So focused on the tattoo, he didn’t see the serve coming straight at him and was plowed down - again!
Bints.
She was surrounded by tarts and bints.
The witch supposed it could be somewhat expected. The males that were engaged in the game of volleyball were all ridiculously fit and John fit in quite well. In fact, she thought that he enhanced the scenery, but again she would never admit that aloud.
“He’s hot!”
“I know right?”
Americans.
She wrinkled her nose as she was further subjected to a rather frivolous ranking game of who’s the hottest.
Three other girls were practically in heat as they kept positioning themselves in the most ludicrous ways.
Merlin!
Is this how muggle girls acted these days?
She sincerely hoped not or she doubted the future of her sex.
The witch felt one of the brainless yanks touch her shoulder. “You’re quiet? Who do you think is the hottest?”
“Well judging from the amount of perspiration I would say the one of the far left,” she answered in a low drawl quite worthy of any Slytherin.
Silence met her as she noticed all females giving her a look as if she had two heads.
This time she really did roll her eyes. Apparently sarcasm was lost on them. Shame, she had some rather witty remarks on the end of her tongue.
“MUTIE!”
Snapping her head towards the side, she noticed a small boy with reddish brown fur and a tail being cornered by the men that had been playing volleyball only moments ago.
They had obviously abandoned their game rather quickly in favor or terrorizing a poor child who was a mutant.
Mutant.
A term given to those born with the X gene. This gene usually manifested itself in the form of superhuman powers and abilities. In other cases, the gene manifested in a physical form like excessive hair or claws.
He had probably come to the beach in hopes of finding a meal judging from his rather scruffy appearance and bare feet. Then again, she doubted any proper shoe would fit over his rather long and narrow feet.
The poor thing was absolutely frightened as he tried to hide his features underneath a fraying baseball cap, but to no avail.
Seeing one of them ready to strike, she rose to intervene.
She didn’t need to because John - Saint-John - was already doing so.
John was pissed.
Scratch that, he was fucking enraged.
He had thought he could escape from these idiots after they finished their game, but then he had caught sight of a little dero digging around in the trash.
He hadn’t paid him mind until he noticed one of the racist fuckers that was taking a breather yell something that made him freeze.
“MUTIE.”
At first he had thought he had been outed, but then realized that they were talking about the dero that had been bin diving.
Well fuck.
There went his hope for walking away unscathed.
He sure as hell wasn't gonna let'em thrash a kid.
Catching the arm of the fucking whacka one mid-swing, he pushed the man back. “No need to start a blue. He’s just an ankle biter.”
“Mutie lover are ya?”
John took a breath, his eyes catching his concerned sheila over the shoulder of the racist dimwit before him. He really hoped that she was for mutants because it would hurt to know that she sided with these idiots.
He could feel the flame.
It was like an extension of him.
Someone was cooking pineapples on the barbie.
A smirk tugged at his lips.
Rearing his hand back, he manipulated the flame into his open palm and smiled cockily at their stunned - and somewhat frightened - expressions. “I am a bloody fucking mutant.”
The chaos that followed was absolute pandemonium.
Hermione didn’t think her jaw could drop any lower.
John was a mutant?
Not just any mutant, but a pyrokinetic from they was he was easily manipulating the flames and scaring away those Friends of Humanity bigots.
The daft bints had made their exit long ago in a flurry of clacking heels and high-pitched screams. Really. Who wore heels to the beach? They were probably from some pseudo posh place in California or something like that - the cows.
Some of the men decided to back down and they too fled.
Others weren’t as bright.
Watching as they continued to approach, Hermione decided that it was time to help - in her own magical way.
Risky? Yes, but she would take the tongue lashing from the Australian Ministry later. Besides, she wasn’t above name dropping - hers - to get out of a sticky situation.
A simple wandless stunning spell had them falling like a pile of cauldrons.
“Well, looks like I’m not the only special one,” said John as he crushed his fist to extinguish the flame.
“MUTANTS!”
“FREAKS!”
The sudden jeers from the crowd that had gathered around them at the first sign of trouble alerted the unique trio to their situation.
Hermione was suddenly pulled into John’s arms and she stared up at him in surprise.
Merlin he was brilliant in his ire. He looked positively feral and protective.
She must have caught some tart from sitting with those girls earlier because she wanted to jump him right here and now.
“And that’s our cue.”
Looking down, the two were surprised to see the street urchin grab onto their wrists and they literally vanished from existence.
AN: Part One finished!
Again. Thanks goes to Fiane for helping me out with the slang.
Translation guide:
Roo - short for kangaroo
Pull a sickie - taking a leave from work when you’re perfectly healthy
Crack a fat - get an erection/horny
Flew arse over tit - a crude way of saying one fell down
Took a gander - to look at
Crack on - hit on/flirt
Wudeya - what do you
Spewin’ - angry
Quick to spit the dummy - quick to anger
Plowed down - knocked over
Dero - homeless person/hobo/squatter
Surfie - surfer
Boofhead/Dipstick/Whacka - similar to idiot or something insulting like that
Start a blue - start a fight
Ankle biter - kid
Barbie - Barbeque
Thanks and I hope that you enjoyed this chapter. I WILL DO MY BEST to write the next one before my flight… wow. I just realized. This time next week, I’ll be hanging out in Tokyo with my friends. OMG!
Review?
- Banana Flavored Eskimo
Previous