(no subject)
yourstrulyarto: Just needed to vent.
yourstrulyarto: That's all.
SBeary02: alright
SBeary02: im glad you're venting to me
yourstrulyarto: It's so funny.
yourstrulyarto: I've been cussing like a sailor and pulling my hair out because of her.
yourstrulyarto: But it's all good.
SBeary02: oh dear.
SBeary02: well maybe she's not good for you
yourstrulyarto: It's hard.
yourstrulyarto: She's the only girl... I've truly liked.... for a long time.
yourstrulyarto: not like oh I like you because you're pretty.
yourstrulyarto: Like I like you meaning i want to spend all of my time with you.
yourstrulyarto: But she makes me want to grab a gun.
yourstrulyarto: And shoot my walls.
SBeary02: uh oh
SBeary02: how can she make you feel so ambiguous
SBeary02: like mixed feelings
yourstrulyarto: mreh mreh mreh.
yourstrulyarto: That's... grand.
yourstrulyarto: phish.... i could really ... man.
yourstrulyarto: I could really use a game of Halo rightn ow.
SBeary02: go for it
yourstrulyarto: I really need to vent.
SBeary02: vent it out multiplayer style
SBeary02: shoot em up good
yourstrulyarto: Do you think it's healthy to throw a knife at your best friend because you think it's amusing? Not because you're mad at your best friend, just because you thought throwing a knife at your friend would be cool.
yourstrulyarto: I'm just wondering.
SBeary02: no
yourstrulyarto: He was watching tv and I was doing the dishes.
yourstrulyarto: I saw the knife.
yourstrulyarto: And I threw it at him.
yourstrulyarto: You should have seen the look on his face.
yourstrulyarto: It landed right between his legs.
yourstrulyarto: He almost cried and I broke into laughter.
SBeary02: did u throw it with intent to cause pain?
yourstrulyarto: Of course not.
yourstrulyarto: Just to see who he'd react.
yourstrulyarto: Or if I'd hit him or not.
yourstrulyarto: Either way I missed.
SBeary02: but there was a chance that you wouldnt.
SBeary02: and thats not nice to risk with your friends
yourstrulyarto: We'll never know.
yourstrulyarto: It was a pretty big darn knife too.
yourstrulyarto: like almost a foot long.
yourstrulyarto: It was... truly amazing.
yourstrulyarto: He got over it.
yourstrulyarto: We played a round of Halo 2.
SBeary02: But it didnt connect in your brain that its wrong
yourstrulyarto: But now..
SBeary02: to thrown knives
SBeary02: at friends
yourstrulyarto: He's fine.
yourstrulyarto: What's funnier is that our bond is better.
SBeary02: mmm if i almost lost my crotch to a knife, i would be thankful that it didnt go furth
SBeary02: but thats weird
SBeary02: please dont throw knives agin
yourstrulyarto: Hmm.. you should tell him not to miss when he tried to blow my head off then.
yourstrulyarto: I'll give you his number.
yourstrulyarto: What a wonderful world we live in.
SBeary02: ... blow your head off?
yourstrulyarto: A bombing in London shakes the very foundation of my house.
yourstrulyarto: My parents won't even let me step out of this room.
yourstrulyarto: When they don't realize... that's the least of their worries.
SBeary02: yeah....
SBeary02: thats sad though
yourstrulyarto: When there's a war in there own home.
yourstrulyarto: Between wive's and husband's.
yourstrulyarto: Father's and son's.
yourstrulyarto: Nieghor between neighbor.
SBeary02: mm that doesnt sound too fun
yourstrulyarto: July 4th, two kids tried to break in my house.
yourstrulyarto: Steal something in my back yard.
yourstrulyarto: I'd never know because they never made it.
yourstrulyarto: My neighbor and I chased them.
SBeary02: oh wow
yourstrulyarto: When my dad drove around to flank them.
yourstrulyarto: My nieghbor grabbed a kid and shoved his face on the pavement
yourstrulyarto: I could her the bones crackle.
yourstrulyarto: *hear
yourstrulyarto: I just stood there.
yourstrulyarto: Amazed.
yourstrulyarto: You should have seen the other kids face.
yourstrulyarto: He feared for the life of his friend, and then his.
yourstrulyarto: "What gonna happen to me?"
SBeary02: oh wow
yourstrulyarto: The other man lied on the ground.
yourstrulyarto: staining the pavement.
yourstrulyarto: My father grabbed the kid by his neck.
SBeary02: omg
yourstrulyarto: You could hear every gasp of air as he was lifted in the air.
yourstrulyarto: He was lucky... my nieghbor didn't bring his dog... or his knife.
yourstrulyarto: My dad can pack a punch.
SBeary02: omg
yourstrulyarto: It was break his face open first, ask questions later is his jaw wasn't broken.
yourstrulyarto: I stood there.
yourstrulyarto: With a smile.
yourstrulyarto: Not a smile of delight.
yourstrulyarto: Just of fear.
yourstrulyarto: Fear of my own father.
yourstrulyarto: Of my own neighbor.
yourstrulyarto: Of my own nieghborhood.
SBeary02: wow
yourstrulyarto: Could you ever live with that?
SBeary02: no
SBeary02: thats really scary
yourstrulyarto: What can you tell your parents?
yourstrulyarto: "I tried to break into someone's house and I had my face caved in."
yourstrulyarto: We made them walk home.
yourstrulyarto: bloody.
SBeary02: wow
SBeary02: thats relaly really really scary
yourstrulyarto: And that's it.
yourstrulyarto: That's one story Sarah.
yourstrulyarto: Just one.
yourstrulyarto: Now you know.
yourstrulyarto: Something about me.
yourstrulyarto: About my family.
yourstrulyarto: My... "life".
yourstrulyarto: If that at all.
SBeary02: wow
SBeary02: im sorry to hear that
yourstrulyarto: No it's ok.
yourstrulyarto: You don't know my mother.
yourstrulyarto: Let's just keep it at that.
yourstrulyarto: My dad loves me.
yourstrulyarto: He keeps his guns in my room.
yourstrulyarto: For he know's if anything go's wrong.
yourstrulyarto: I have a something.
yourstrulyarto: To fend with.
SBeary02: Wow. Thats truly amazing
yourstrulyarto: Do you think I move so much because of the military Sarah?
yourstrulyarto: Virginia.
yourstrulyarto: My mom found out my dad was cheating on her.
yourstrulyarto: He came home.
yourstrulyarto: My mom keeps lots of knives.
yourstrulyarto: You should have seen the fire in her eyes Sarah.
yourstrulyarto: One knife in one hand, my arm in the other.
yourstrulyarto: I had to hold her down.
yourstrulyarto: So my father could make up a sorry excuse for what a horrible father he is.
yourstrulyarto: He decided it would be the best for us... to be "together".
yourstrulyarto: We moved.
yourstrulyarto: To Hawaii.
yourstrulyarto: I thought it would all be over.
yourstrulyarto: But then again it's not.
yourstrulyarto: Everyday.
yourstrulyarto: It's blood on the floor.
yourstrulyarto: I'm used to cleaning it.
yourstrulyarto: The broken glass.
yourstrulyarto: The shattered vases.
yourstrulyarto: Everything.
yourstrulyarto: Cleaning everything after all of it.
SBeary02: Wow.
yourstrulyarto: Two years in.
yourstrulyarto: My father found religion.
yourstrulyarto: My mother wasn't as reluctant.
yourstrulyarto: About it.
yourstrulyarto: At all.
yourstrulyarto: My father had changed.
yourstrulyarto: My mother... saw what was "inside" of him.
yourstrulyarto: Forgave him.
yourstrulyarto: 3 years in.
yourstrulyarto: We move here.
yourstrulyarto: Seems everything is fine.
yourstrulyarto: But it's not.
yourstrulyarto: War all the time.
yourstrulyarto: I should write stories.
SBeary02: You could.
yourstrulyarto: Or I'm just fucked up.
yourstrulyarto: Oops.
yourstrulyarto: That was a cuss word.
SBeary02: Yes it was.
SBeary02: Its okay.
SBeary02: I dont mind.
SBeary02: I do worry about you.
yourstrulyarto: Oh don't worry.
SBeary02: It makes me sad to hear about strife in your own home.
yourstrulyarto: I try not to sleep in my house as much.
yourstrulyarto: I'm usually awake.
yourstrulyarto: All the time.
yourstrulyarto: That's why I'm always on here.
yourstrulyarto: Or I'm at my friend house.
SBeary02: ohh
yourstrulyarto: *friends
yourstrulyarto: Playing games like Halo.
yourstrulyarto: Because it's the closest I'll ever get to getting rid of the pain.
SBeary02: I'm so sorry to hear this.
yourstrulyarto: Have you ever thought of killing you parents? Just teaing the thoughts? I mean it's silly.
yourstrulyarto: I'm pretty sure you haven't.
yourstrulyarto: I talk to my best friend about this.
yourstrulyarto: He agrees.
yourstrulyarto: He too thinks that way.
yourstrulyarto: Maybe it's normal.
yourstrulyarto: OR we're just messed up.
SBeary02: No, i havent really thought of that.
yourstrulyarto: Oops
yourstrulyarto: *teasing
SBeary02: Those thoughts arent really normal.
yourstrulyarto: Almost missed that one.
yourstrulyarto: Nobody's normal.
yourstrulyarto: So it's fine I'm assuming.
yourstrulyarto: It may be immoral... but what is that now.
yourstrulyarto: The lines have been blurred.
SBeary02: Yeah.
SBeary02: I understand.
yourstrulyarto: Faith is all I have.
yourstrulyarto: For now.
yourstrulyarto: The best thin I can do is pray.
yourstrulyarto: *thing
yourstrulyarto: And tie up my anger and muffle it's mouth.
SBeary02: That is absolutely the best way to go.
yourstrulyarto: One day it'll find out how to break free.
yourstrulyarto: But let's hope not.
SBeary02: I really hope not.
yourstrulyarto: No I'm wrong.
yourstrulyarto: It seeps out.
yourstrulyarto: Through this games.
yourstrulyarto: Of bloodshed... or battle... of horror.
yourstrulyarto: I'm guessing that's why I like it so much.
yourstrulyarto: When I watch horror movies.
yourstrulyarto: I'm the one to laugh when someone die's.
yourstrulyarto: Or any movie...at all.
SBeary02: Wow.
yourstrulyarto: My parents and my friends ask me.
yourstrulyarto: "What's wrong with you?"
yourstrulyarto: I never answer the question.
yourstrulyarto: If they knew.
yourstrulyarto: But thanks for the venting Sarah.
yourstrulyarto: I really appreciate it.
SBeary02: oh anytime
SBeary02: i'm gonna pray for you ok?
yourstrulyarto: If you want.
SBeary02: does it bother you?
yourstrulyarto: Not at all.
SBeary02: oka
yourstrulyarto: Do you know what bothers me?
SBeary02: what
yourstrulyarto: People who drink.
yourstrulyarto: That's all.
SBeary02: alright
SBeary02: im glad you're venting to me
yourstrulyarto: It's so funny.
yourstrulyarto: I've been cussing like a sailor and pulling my hair out because of her.
yourstrulyarto: But it's all good.
SBeary02: oh dear.
SBeary02: well maybe she's not good for you
yourstrulyarto: It's hard.
yourstrulyarto: She's the only girl... I've truly liked.... for a long time.
yourstrulyarto: not like oh I like you because you're pretty.
yourstrulyarto: Like I like you meaning i want to spend all of my time with you.
yourstrulyarto: But she makes me want to grab a gun.
yourstrulyarto: And shoot my walls.
SBeary02: uh oh
SBeary02: how can she make you feel so ambiguous
SBeary02: like mixed feelings
yourstrulyarto: mreh mreh mreh.
yourstrulyarto: That's... grand.
yourstrulyarto: phish.... i could really ... man.
yourstrulyarto: I could really use a game of Halo rightn ow.
SBeary02: go for it
yourstrulyarto: I really need to vent.
SBeary02: vent it out multiplayer style
SBeary02: shoot em up good
yourstrulyarto: Do you think it's healthy to throw a knife at your best friend because you think it's amusing? Not because you're mad at your best friend, just because you thought throwing a knife at your friend would be cool.
yourstrulyarto: I'm just wondering.
SBeary02: no
yourstrulyarto: He was watching tv and I was doing the dishes.
yourstrulyarto: I saw the knife.
yourstrulyarto: And I threw it at him.
yourstrulyarto: You should have seen the look on his face.
yourstrulyarto: It landed right between his legs.
yourstrulyarto: He almost cried and I broke into laughter.
SBeary02: did u throw it with intent to cause pain?
yourstrulyarto: Of course not.
yourstrulyarto: Just to see who he'd react.
yourstrulyarto: Or if I'd hit him or not.
yourstrulyarto: Either way I missed.
SBeary02: but there was a chance that you wouldnt.
SBeary02: and thats not nice to risk with your friends
yourstrulyarto: We'll never know.
yourstrulyarto: It was a pretty big darn knife too.
yourstrulyarto: like almost a foot long.
yourstrulyarto: It was... truly amazing.
yourstrulyarto: He got over it.
yourstrulyarto: We played a round of Halo 2.
SBeary02: But it didnt connect in your brain that its wrong
yourstrulyarto: But now..
SBeary02: to thrown knives
SBeary02: at friends
yourstrulyarto: He's fine.
yourstrulyarto: What's funnier is that our bond is better.
SBeary02: mmm if i almost lost my crotch to a knife, i would be thankful that it didnt go furth
SBeary02: but thats weird
SBeary02: please dont throw knives agin
yourstrulyarto: Hmm.. you should tell him not to miss when he tried to blow my head off then.
yourstrulyarto: I'll give you his number.
yourstrulyarto: What a wonderful world we live in.
SBeary02: ... blow your head off?
yourstrulyarto: A bombing in London shakes the very foundation of my house.
yourstrulyarto: My parents won't even let me step out of this room.
yourstrulyarto: When they don't realize... that's the least of their worries.
SBeary02: yeah....
SBeary02: thats sad though
yourstrulyarto: When there's a war in there own home.
yourstrulyarto: Between wive's and husband's.
yourstrulyarto: Father's and son's.
yourstrulyarto: Nieghor between neighbor.
SBeary02: mm that doesnt sound too fun
yourstrulyarto: July 4th, two kids tried to break in my house.
yourstrulyarto: Steal something in my back yard.
yourstrulyarto: I'd never know because they never made it.
yourstrulyarto: My neighbor and I chased them.
SBeary02: oh wow
yourstrulyarto: When my dad drove around to flank them.
yourstrulyarto: My nieghbor grabbed a kid and shoved his face on the pavement
yourstrulyarto: I could her the bones crackle.
yourstrulyarto: *hear
yourstrulyarto: I just stood there.
yourstrulyarto: Amazed.
yourstrulyarto: You should have seen the other kids face.
yourstrulyarto: He feared for the life of his friend, and then his.
yourstrulyarto: "What gonna happen to me?"
SBeary02: oh wow
yourstrulyarto: The other man lied on the ground.
yourstrulyarto: staining the pavement.
yourstrulyarto: My father grabbed the kid by his neck.
SBeary02: omg
yourstrulyarto: You could hear every gasp of air as he was lifted in the air.
yourstrulyarto: He was lucky... my nieghbor didn't bring his dog... or his knife.
yourstrulyarto: My dad can pack a punch.
SBeary02: omg
yourstrulyarto: It was break his face open first, ask questions later is his jaw wasn't broken.
yourstrulyarto: I stood there.
yourstrulyarto: With a smile.
yourstrulyarto: Not a smile of delight.
yourstrulyarto: Just of fear.
yourstrulyarto: Fear of my own father.
yourstrulyarto: Of my own neighbor.
yourstrulyarto: Of my own nieghborhood.
SBeary02: wow
yourstrulyarto: Could you ever live with that?
SBeary02: no
SBeary02: thats really scary
yourstrulyarto: What can you tell your parents?
yourstrulyarto: "I tried to break into someone's house and I had my face caved in."
yourstrulyarto: We made them walk home.
yourstrulyarto: bloody.
SBeary02: wow
SBeary02: thats relaly really really scary
yourstrulyarto: And that's it.
yourstrulyarto: That's one story Sarah.
yourstrulyarto: Just one.
yourstrulyarto: Now you know.
yourstrulyarto: Something about me.
yourstrulyarto: About my family.
yourstrulyarto: My... "life".
yourstrulyarto: If that at all.
SBeary02: wow
SBeary02: im sorry to hear that
yourstrulyarto: No it's ok.
yourstrulyarto: You don't know my mother.
yourstrulyarto: Let's just keep it at that.
yourstrulyarto: My dad loves me.
yourstrulyarto: He keeps his guns in my room.
yourstrulyarto: For he know's if anything go's wrong.
yourstrulyarto: I have a something.
yourstrulyarto: To fend with.
SBeary02: Wow. Thats truly amazing
yourstrulyarto: Do you think I move so much because of the military Sarah?
yourstrulyarto: Virginia.
yourstrulyarto: My mom found out my dad was cheating on her.
yourstrulyarto: He came home.
yourstrulyarto: My mom keeps lots of knives.
yourstrulyarto: You should have seen the fire in her eyes Sarah.
yourstrulyarto: One knife in one hand, my arm in the other.
yourstrulyarto: I had to hold her down.
yourstrulyarto: So my father could make up a sorry excuse for what a horrible father he is.
yourstrulyarto: He decided it would be the best for us... to be "together".
yourstrulyarto: We moved.
yourstrulyarto: To Hawaii.
yourstrulyarto: I thought it would all be over.
yourstrulyarto: But then again it's not.
yourstrulyarto: Everyday.
yourstrulyarto: It's blood on the floor.
yourstrulyarto: I'm used to cleaning it.
yourstrulyarto: The broken glass.
yourstrulyarto: The shattered vases.
yourstrulyarto: Everything.
yourstrulyarto: Cleaning everything after all of it.
SBeary02: Wow.
yourstrulyarto: Two years in.
yourstrulyarto: My father found religion.
yourstrulyarto: My mother wasn't as reluctant.
yourstrulyarto: About it.
yourstrulyarto: At all.
yourstrulyarto: My father had changed.
yourstrulyarto: My mother... saw what was "inside" of him.
yourstrulyarto: Forgave him.
yourstrulyarto: 3 years in.
yourstrulyarto: We move here.
yourstrulyarto: Seems everything is fine.
yourstrulyarto: But it's not.
yourstrulyarto: War all the time.
yourstrulyarto: I should write stories.
SBeary02: You could.
yourstrulyarto: Or I'm just fucked up.
yourstrulyarto: Oops.
yourstrulyarto: That was a cuss word.
SBeary02: Yes it was.
SBeary02: Its okay.
SBeary02: I dont mind.
SBeary02: I do worry about you.
yourstrulyarto: Oh don't worry.
SBeary02: It makes me sad to hear about strife in your own home.
yourstrulyarto: I try not to sleep in my house as much.
yourstrulyarto: I'm usually awake.
yourstrulyarto: All the time.
yourstrulyarto: That's why I'm always on here.
yourstrulyarto: Or I'm at my friend house.
SBeary02: ohh
yourstrulyarto: *friends
yourstrulyarto: Playing games like Halo.
yourstrulyarto: Because it's the closest I'll ever get to getting rid of the pain.
SBeary02: I'm so sorry to hear this.
yourstrulyarto: Have you ever thought of killing you parents? Just teaing the thoughts? I mean it's silly.
yourstrulyarto: I'm pretty sure you haven't.
yourstrulyarto: I talk to my best friend about this.
yourstrulyarto: He agrees.
yourstrulyarto: He too thinks that way.
yourstrulyarto: Maybe it's normal.
yourstrulyarto: OR we're just messed up.
SBeary02: No, i havent really thought of that.
yourstrulyarto: Oops
yourstrulyarto: *teasing
SBeary02: Those thoughts arent really normal.
yourstrulyarto: Almost missed that one.
yourstrulyarto: Nobody's normal.
yourstrulyarto: So it's fine I'm assuming.
yourstrulyarto: It may be immoral... but what is that now.
yourstrulyarto: The lines have been blurred.
SBeary02: Yeah.
SBeary02: I understand.
yourstrulyarto: Faith is all I have.
yourstrulyarto: For now.
yourstrulyarto: The best thin I can do is pray.
yourstrulyarto: *thing
yourstrulyarto: And tie up my anger and muffle it's mouth.
SBeary02: That is absolutely the best way to go.
yourstrulyarto: One day it'll find out how to break free.
yourstrulyarto: But let's hope not.
SBeary02: I really hope not.
yourstrulyarto: No I'm wrong.
yourstrulyarto: It seeps out.
yourstrulyarto: Through this games.
yourstrulyarto: Of bloodshed... or battle... of horror.
yourstrulyarto: I'm guessing that's why I like it so much.
yourstrulyarto: When I watch horror movies.
yourstrulyarto: I'm the one to laugh when someone die's.
yourstrulyarto: Or any movie...at all.
SBeary02: Wow.
yourstrulyarto: My parents and my friends ask me.
yourstrulyarto: "What's wrong with you?"
yourstrulyarto: I never answer the question.
yourstrulyarto: If they knew.
yourstrulyarto: But thanks for the venting Sarah.
yourstrulyarto: I really appreciate it.
SBeary02: oh anytime
SBeary02: i'm gonna pray for you ok?
yourstrulyarto: If you want.
SBeary02: does it bother you?
yourstrulyarto: Not at all.
SBeary02: oka
yourstrulyarto: Do you know what bothers me?
SBeary02: what
yourstrulyarto: People who drink.