**sigh**
okay, so today was like a very wild up and down roller coaster. i woke up and right away got in a fight with my little sister. she's always accusing me that i wear the stupidest clothes and yet always begging me to let her wear my clothes. she's like one of those preppy girls and i have like...band shirts and skateboarding brand stuff. it's really annoying.
i always wake up in the morning and think "thank you god i'm not in a coffin." i mean, i'm catholic and i like it, but there are a lot of things i dont agree with. like homosexuals. if you're gay or lesbian or bi, and you act on it, then it's an abomination? that's the dumbest thing i've ever heard. if god loved everyone of us for who we are, he wouldnt care who we love. god gave us free will (i'm not trying to sound like a preacher) and that means we can do anything we want and god loves us no matter what. then why would he consider us an abomination for showing love to people he created? it's just the stupidest thing i've ever heard. it just makes me so mad that we, as people in america, have the right to the "pursuit of happiness", quoted from the constitution. plus, where do people get the idea that we can tell people who to marry and who to love. fuck, it just infuriates me.
i'm really out of it today. my mom is sick again. she's got this rare disease where she gets brain spots, which basically blocks your memory and makes you really weak and sick. plus, four years ago, summer before my sixth grade year, she got in a car accident and it ruined her back and neck completely for life. i mean, she can walk and all, but it's very painful on some day and intensly painful on others. sometimes her hip gets dislocated making it painful to walk. and she can't take time off work for it because she's a single mom who has to work to provide a me and my two sisters needs. my dad is a fucking bastard who never sends child support, so we need all the money we can get. she has to work late on some nights and overtime and all that. it really sucks. we've gone to the county to try and have them make him pay, but the stupid government doesnt ever listen to us. so, we've just given up and accepted that my dad is a fucking bitch who is a pathological liar and he hates his family. sometimes i just want to scream out how much i hate him and how many times i want to kill him for doing this to us. i mean, how much pain can one man cause a family for twelve years (how long they've been divorced). i mean, i thank god every single day for them getting divorced cuz i was only four, but man do i remember the times they were married. all the yelling and tears and worst of all, the silences between them. not to mention my dad drank a six pack every night. i know there are people out there who have a lot worse and i'm really sorry about that and i feel bad because my life isn't nearly as bad as someone else's who dad hits them or parents do drugs. it just sucks to have no dependable man in your life. but i have my mom, who is the greatest, annoying sisters, but they love me and my family is the most important thing to me. i just wish my mom would get a break. she deserves so much better than this life.
anyways...i think something good happened today...can't remember though. i have the worst memory. well, at my school we do this thing called "teacher survivor" and it's like survivor, but in the school. a few teachers are chosen. one of mine, sullivan, english teacher, my favorite, was one of them. they do challenges. the first one was designing a school spirit shirt. black, science teacher, won that one. then it was trivia. sullivan won that one through a tie-breaker...rock, paper, scissors. lol, whatever. it's cool, each teacher gets their own color and sullivan has blue. he made up "bleed blue" and anyone who had something to do with that slogan (the color or "bleed blue" on something) got extra credit. i made a bracelet out of tape that says "bleed blue bubba". sullivans first name is bubba, he tells people to call him that. that's why he's so cool. he doesnt think that he's better than his students. he's also the football coach, so he knows how to control us. the third challenge was an interpretive dance...shit, bell. got to go. bye.
bri
i always wake up in the morning and think "thank you god i'm not in a coffin." i mean, i'm catholic and i like it, but there are a lot of things i dont agree with. like homosexuals. if you're gay or lesbian or bi, and you act on it, then it's an abomination? that's the dumbest thing i've ever heard. if god loved everyone of us for who we are, he wouldnt care who we love. god gave us free will (i'm not trying to sound like a preacher) and that means we can do anything we want and god loves us no matter what. then why would he consider us an abomination for showing love to people he created? it's just the stupidest thing i've ever heard. it just makes me so mad that we, as people in america, have the right to the "pursuit of happiness", quoted from the constitution. plus, where do people get the idea that we can tell people who to marry and who to love. fuck, it just infuriates me.
i'm really out of it today. my mom is sick again. she's got this rare disease where she gets brain spots, which basically blocks your memory and makes you really weak and sick. plus, four years ago, summer before my sixth grade year, she got in a car accident and it ruined her back and neck completely for life. i mean, she can walk and all, but it's very painful on some day and intensly painful on others. sometimes her hip gets dislocated making it painful to walk. and she can't take time off work for it because she's a single mom who has to work to provide a me and my two sisters needs. my dad is a fucking bastard who never sends child support, so we need all the money we can get. she has to work late on some nights and overtime and all that. it really sucks. we've gone to the county to try and have them make him pay, but the stupid government doesnt ever listen to us. so, we've just given up and accepted that my dad is a fucking bitch who is a pathological liar and he hates his family. sometimes i just want to scream out how much i hate him and how many times i want to kill him for doing this to us. i mean, how much pain can one man cause a family for twelve years (how long they've been divorced). i mean, i thank god every single day for them getting divorced cuz i was only four, but man do i remember the times they were married. all the yelling and tears and worst of all, the silences between them. not to mention my dad drank a six pack every night. i know there are people out there who have a lot worse and i'm really sorry about that and i feel bad because my life isn't nearly as bad as someone else's who dad hits them or parents do drugs. it just sucks to have no dependable man in your life. but i have my mom, who is the greatest, annoying sisters, but they love me and my family is the most important thing to me. i just wish my mom would get a break. she deserves so much better than this life.
anyways...i think something good happened today...can't remember though. i have the worst memory. well, at my school we do this thing called "teacher survivor" and it's like survivor, but in the school. a few teachers are chosen. one of mine, sullivan, english teacher, my favorite, was one of them. they do challenges. the first one was designing a school spirit shirt. black, science teacher, won that one. then it was trivia. sullivan won that one through a tie-breaker...rock, paper, scissors. lol, whatever. it's cool, each teacher gets their own color and sullivan has blue. he made up "bleed blue" and anyone who had something to do with that slogan (the color or "bleed blue" on something) got extra credit. i made a bracelet out of tape that says "bleed blue bubba". sullivans first name is bubba, he tells people to call him that. that's why he's so cool. he doesnt think that he's better than his students. he's also the football coach, so he knows how to control us. the third challenge was an interpretive dance...shit, bell. got to go. bye.
bri