"Perhaps the story you finish is never the one you begin."
"Oh my god.......
This is like nostalgic to me. Seriously, this was the first ever fan-fiction I read like two years ago, when I didn't even have LJ, when I only like TVXQ, when I just found out who Sooyoung was, when I just got into Kpop and when ChangSoo was the only couple I know and love. Oh my god. It's bringing me back the old days *crying forever*. I remember how I couldn't even remember their faces and had to saying their name so that I can pronounce it properly! SO MANY MEMORIES ^^
I am so thankful for this fanfic :')"
-comment left by changmin95 in the entry Food Fight
LJ does not provide services enabling us to put comments into memories but I want to keep this comment forever. I want to read it again and again, even when I grow out of kpop, even when I stop writing in LJ. Words fail me in expressing my feelings right now. This random post might come off as really random but at least it would give you a peek of what's happening in my mind right now.
Food Fight is not my best fic - it is substandard, imo - and even if I cringe every time I read it (which explains why the last time I read it was when I was checking errors for the PDF file), it will always hold a place in my heart. It was the first het-fic I've ever written. And though the idea for it came randomly one wonderful night when we had delicious fried chicken for dinner, it gave me a fair enough start in the world of het-fics. Maybe it also helped that even if I posted it in a dbsk comm usually filled with yaoi pairings that the reaction of those who cared enough to read it was nice which is why I do not have an idea of how underrated het-fics are in this fandom. To be honest, LJ has been my personal secret journal back when I was still a minor (lol) which is why when I decided to bid it goodbye when I turned 18, I never had the yearning to visit it again.
However, LJ has played a huge part on how I returned to the world of kpop. After two years of being introduced into the fandom, miracle______ made me return and stay. I've never left since then. I know I will someday say goodbye to kpop, and then maybe to LJ too. But I don't think I can ever say goodbye to those random urges to write something... and the friendships I made because of them.
After Food Fight, it took me a while to write ChangSoo shots again. I ventured into other OTPs too but I don't know why I always come back to these two (heck, my chaptered au!ChangSoo fic is taking ages to finish). Maybe because when I started writing them, only a handful were doing so. And somehow, seeing the ChangSoo fandom grow before my eyes gives me a sense of happiness, the feeling of seeing something grow from what you have helped sow. It's a good feeling.
I used to scoff at the idea of fanfiction but this hobby has been nice to me. Though my original intention of writing these is to practice my dormant writing skills, I started to fall in love with the idea of it and even with the stories I've made. If before, writing is something I see as a way of expressing my inner lamentations and shutting everyone else out in a world where only my voice is heard, it is now to me a conch amplifying the voice but not to the purpose of silencing others but to gather them and for me to listen to their stories too.
To Hana (changmin95 ), thank you for reminding me of something that people almost always forget as time goes by --- that the littlest thing they do, no matter how random, leave a mark that affects a person --- no matter how big or small the effect may be --- without them knowing. To all the readers (silent or loud haha) and to the friends I've made because if this, thank you. Thank you and thank you.
Thank you. :)