(no subject)
Been a while since my last entry,I've had a lot on my mind lately.So much stress has been pilling up on me in the past week.There's struggles in my relationship (I finally have a light at the end of the tunnel and I'm so happy we're not going to be ripped apart!),College starts in a week and I won't have my books until tomorrow and I haven't even seen the campus ONCE! (I'm doing that tomorrow as well),my finances are screwy,my Papa just recently got out of the hospital and is in rehab to strengthen his muscles and brain again,and work is always emotionally and physically draining! So much crap has been going on recently and I seriously almost had a nervous break down,or stress attack,whatever you want to call it I WAS SCARED! I was talking to Joe,Ash,and Aubrey online a couple nights ago and Joe and I were talking about how we're both so stressed that we're jeopardizing US and that we both agreed that until we get our heads clear,we're just going to take a breather.All of a sudden I was just rocking back and forth and shaking and crying and I felt like I was going to scream and wouldn't be able to stop it!I couldn't breathe,I was so scared,it felt like I was dying.I hadn't said anything online for a while and Joe said "baby?" and I said I'm going to have a nervous break down I can feel it,just give me a second to breathe! and Aubrey asked"Are you ok?" and I said "no" and just tried to take slow deep breaths and not think about everything.It was horrible,I've never had that happen before....Joe and I still talk every day and know that we're getting back together but just knowing that there is one less thing to worry about is nice.It really has relieved some stres for me.Joe said that when I wanted to hang out with him I could call and that's nice bc when I'm so busy with everything else I don't have to think O man Joe must think I'm neglecting him! ...or something like that.I can't wait until college is in full flow and things have a routine and Joe and I are back together and everything is just calm! Ugh.
So that's whats been going on in my life.Things are better now and I feel a lot less stresed than I did.
I'm taking things one day at a time and that's all I can do.
P.S. Can't wait for Keller in 50 days :) ...with Joe :D *giggle*
So that's whats been going on in my life.Things are better now and I feel a lot less stresed than I did.
I'm taking things one day at a time and that's all I can do.
P.S. Can't wait for Keller in 50 days :) ...with Joe :D *giggle*