FML
This is my blog, I'm venting my frustrations. I don't care if anyone reads this or not, I'm putting it out there that I am not okay right now.
I'm not okay, at all. Issues at home are intense, considering my sister and her son. Her wishing to leave is causing a lot of stress, tension and frustrations in the house. The energy is so negative and thick you can cut it with a knife. There's been fighting for 2 days straight and there will still be more on the way. The fighting has caused me to skip my meals. I'm the type of person who stresses and cannot eat, but I can sure sleep, my father pointed this out by how he is and how my mother are when they are hit with stress.
I would go more into the details of how intense it is, but I would save that. You, my followers may think this is nothing but a minuscule problem, I think not. This is as severe as ripping apart the family (AGAIN). This isn't the first time our family has been torn apart, but that also is another story. I have cried, because of the nasty words my sister has spoken. Her words of calling my step father not having any relation or really even being my nephews grand father fuckin hurt. Her nasty, vile words of accusation about my mother, and talking smack about my other sister and I. Her threats, her words, her accusations, her--she is the monster in this picture. She is making everyone cry, she is hurting us. We helped her so many times, and right now we're only trying to help my nephew.
Right now it's in the eye of the storm. We know what we have to do, we know full well. We will tame the negativity, we will do what's best. We have a plan of action. We have it all and we will act. But for now it's only words of persuasion, and if that fails, we will have to call in lawyers to gain custody.
I am not asking for help. I am not asking anything.
Ontop of that the shit I thought was fixed over the last confrontation with certain friends wasn't solved. I feel completely unwelcomed. I try to speak up about what's been going on and I got nothing. It hurt. It felt like a knife in the chest. I sunk in and stopped talking for that reason. I stopped. I only speak to a couple of people.
It's not fun when shit goes down and you need someone to speak to and that and or those people aren't there.
All I Can say is stop saying 'I'm worried, I'm worried about you', because I honest to whatever deity or what have you that it's hollow. I don't believe it. IF you're worried fuckin' talk to me, because I wont have the will to speak to anyone. I don't run to people, I hide in my corner. I cannot change that over night. The slightest sense of neglect or carelessness has me backed in and to myself.
I am tired of these empty words. I'm so fucking tired of it.
Don't give me your pity. Don't give me bullshit. IF you don't care, then don't say a word to me and I can move on and not expect shit. This goes for the others that have been hurt the same way I have.