I SAW SOMEONE NEVER WANTED TO BE, TURN IT AROUND!
Seriously though,
what a spectacular weekend.
As distrusting and synical as I can be at times, the general awesomeness of everyone this weekend has lifted my spirits like whoa. I started drinking again, after two months, and it was wonderfull. I didn't drink alot, I had a great time, I got drunk and not angry. I went out with some friends, got drunk, danced,laughed,caused mischief and had one hell of a time. I feel renewed and healthy. And the kind actions of people I considered to be "college aquantances" really made me appreciate these people as "friends". Dan and Geoff are both amaizing people whos time and company I trully appreciate and will always go out of my way to accompany. That kid blows me away, watching the parallels of our social experiences. Watching that kid have an ex spit in his face and hear him say seriously "Have a good night", the kind of moral fortitude that makes me smile a little wider. Were going to a bro down at the museum next weekend to talk about dinosaurs and sharks, and the people with mundane problems that they can eat. Going to the show tonight with him and eric was one of the best days I'v had in long memory. I usually hate shows, let alone "hardcore", but something about tonight was beyond fantastic. All the anger and sadness built up inside me went with my voice as Drumm hung on my shoulders and Geoff and I charged the mic to yell our hearts out. I HAVE NEVER been into a show like that, and I find myself infront of 400 kids, on top of the crowd singing along to the mic and hugging my sweatty bros. My voice is gone and I have never fealt such a purging and soothing 30 minutes. It was really weird and out of character for me but god damn I wish I could feal something like that every weekend.
I havn't said shit in over a month, and it's been one of the longest of my life. Here's the condensed version. I love my family more than anything, after the past two months my mother and I are closer than we ever even dreamed. The support she has given me and the honest open person she let me become has made our relationship so strong that I can tell her anything and count on her to see me though it. I'v gotten very tight with some people down here and it's very nice. This place is like a drunk high school but the genuine friends I have found have not only helped me but looked out for me this past month. I'm very gratefull for it. School itself has been great, I'm spending all my time in the dark room, where I'd like to be. Creating new projects and shoots everyday. I have another two months of work and then I get to be with my bros for 4 months of insanity and fun on the road. And here it is, there's been alot of shit, theres been alot of sadness, alot of pain, health problems, emergency flights home, healing, anger and coping. I feel like thats all I want and need to say about any of it, I'm not elaborating on the bad, I'd rather focus on the great people and experiences of late. All of it's made me a better person with his shit in order, having fun again, loving his family, standing up infront of hundreds of people to scream NEVER SAY NEVER, I GOTTA TURN IT AROUND, I GOTTA GIVE IT AWAY and meaning every word with an intensity he hasn't had in years. I know such an upbeat non-introspective entry is out of character, but is in order for my current situation. I'm still a little fucked, I'm still upset about alot of things, I'm still trying to figure alot of things out, but there is so much good in my life and so much positive change thats been made that I refuse to let it bog me down. marshall being maddd posi, weird.
Never say never,
cause you don't know what lies ahead.
Better to follow your heart.
Mistakes come from choices made.
I gotta give it away.
I saw someone never wanted to be.
The story's told and it's haunting
TURN IT AROUND!
what a spectacular weekend.
As distrusting and synical as I can be at times, the general awesomeness of everyone this weekend has lifted my spirits like whoa. I started drinking again, after two months, and it was wonderfull. I didn't drink alot, I had a great time, I got drunk and not angry. I went out with some friends, got drunk, danced,laughed,caused mischief and had one hell of a time. I feel renewed and healthy. And the kind actions of people I considered to be "college aquantances" really made me appreciate these people as "friends". Dan and Geoff are both amaizing people whos time and company I trully appreciate and will always go out of my way to accompany. That kid blows me away, watching the parallels of our social experiences. Watching that kid have an ex spit in his face and hear him say seriously "Have a good night", the kind of moral fortitude that makes me smile a little wider. Were going to a bro down at the museum next weekend to talk about dinosaurs and sharks, and the people with mundane problems that they can eat. Going to the show tonight with him and eric was one of the best days I'v had in long memory. I usually hate shows, let alone "hardcore", but something about tonight was beyond fantastic. All the anger and sadness built up inside me went with my voice as Drumm hung on my shoulders and Geoff and I charged the mic to yell our hearts out. I HAVE NEVER been into a show like that, and I find myself infront of 400 kids, on top of the crowd singing along to the mic and hugging my sweatty bros. My voice is gone and I have never fealt such a purging and soothing 30 minutes. It was really weird and out of character for me but god damn I wish I could feal something like that every weekend.
I havn't said shit in over a month, and it's been one of the longest of my life. Here's the condensed version. I love my family more than anything, after the past two months my mother and I are closer than we ever even dreamed. The support she has given me and the honest open person she let me become has made our relationship so strong that I can tell her anything and count on her to see me though it. I'v gotten very tight with some people down here and it's very nice. This place is like a drunk high school but the genuine friends I have found have not only helped me but looked out for me this past month. I'm very gratefull for it. School itself has been great, I'm spending all my time in the dark room, where I'd like to be. Creating new projects and shoots everyday. I have another two months of work and then I get to be with my bros for 4 months of insanity and fun on the road. And here it is, there's been alot of shit, theres been alot of sadness, alot of pain, health problems, emergency flights home, healing, anger and coping. I feel like thats all I want and need to say about any of it, I'm not elaborating on the bad, I'd rather focus on the great people and experiences of late. All of it's made me a better person with his shit in order, having fun again, loving his family, standing up infront of hundreds of people to scream NEVER SAY NEVER, I GOTTA TURN IT AROUND, I GOTTA GIVE IT AWAY and meaning every word with an intensity he hasn't had in years. I know such an upbeat non-introspective entry is out of character, but is in order for my current situation. I'm still a little fucked, I'm still upset about alot of things, I'm still trying to figure alot of things out, but there is so much good in my life and so much positive change thats been made that I refuse to let it bog me down. marshall being maddd posi, weird.
Never say never,
cause you don't know what lies ahead.
Better to follow your heart.
Mistakes come from choices made.
I gotta give it away.
I saw someone never wanted to be.
The story's told and it's haunting
TURN IT AROUND!