(no subject)
My whole life has been spent cheating death. If I let go I'm afraid it'll win so easy. Maybe that's why I'm always on edge.
I think about her every day, I swear it, I can't get her off of my mind because I'm still in love with her, I still feel like there's something forbidden and maddening about her and everything that surrounds her. I think I'm still waiting for her to finish school so we can run away together. I'm biding my time with a girl here and there and a guy here and there to satiate myself while I'm waiting but there ain't no love in it, unless I'm loving them, thinking of her. With no effort she left me in ruins.
Now I got this problem, you see, people constantly throw me around like it's nothing, like it don't take effort to come hang with them when I really should be working, trying to get money in whatever way I can, when I don't have a car or even a bike to help me get around... Look, just because I forgive you doesn't mean you can go acting like a dick, as if there's nothing wrong with switching plans up on me over and over again when I need my SLEEP.
I don't even let fuckers pay for me, when we go out somewhere that costs money, but I don't have what it takes, I've got a home for 2 more months and then I'll be a vagabond again. I've become anti-social because I can't go to the movies, can't go out to dinner when I could be getting cheaper food that'd last me 3 days for that much. People don't understand, I have to keep my pride in tact, even when I'm nothing. And I have to keep my independence so she has a safe place with me if she ever comes back. (Well, close to safe, anyway.)
There's a university right up the road from where I reside on most days. We could walk there, darling, if you wanted an education. Financial aid will pay for you, trust me, the government loves throwing money at people like us. Trust me, you're a beautiful girl, and you'd have it made with me, I wouldn't waste a penny on anything but what we need to stay alive, and what you need to make you happy. You're the one who makes me happy. You don't understand that do you?
I don't want to give my money to other shits in this world when I could be paying our rent. I don't even want to pay MY rent. Only OURs. I want to be with you forever don't you see? I'm never going to let go...even if you already did a year past.
I think about her every day, I swear it, I can't get her off of my mind because I'm still in love with her, I still feel like there's something forbidden and maddening about her and everything that surrounds her. I think I'm still waiting for her to finish school so we can run away together. I'm biding my time with a girl here and there and a guy here and there to satiate myself while I'm waiting but there ain't no love in it, unless I'm loving them, thinking of her. With no effort she left me in ruins.
Now I got this problem, you see, people constantly throw me around like it's nothing, like it don't take effort to come hang with them when I really should be working, trying to get money in whatever way I can, when I don't have a car or even a bike to help me get around... Look, just because I forgive you doesn't mean you can go acting like a dick, as if there's nothing wrong with switching plans up on me over and over again when I need my SLEEP.
I don't even let fuckers pay for me, when we go out somewhere that costs money, but I don't have what it takes, I've got a home for 2 more months and then I'll be a vagabond again. I've become anti-social because I can't go to the movies, can't go out to dinner when I could be getting cheaper food that'd last me 3 days for that much. People don't understand, I have to keep my pride in tact, even when I'm nothing. And I have to keep my independence so she has a safe place with me if she ever comes back. (Well, close to safe, anyway.)
There's a university right up the road from where I reside on most days. We could walk there, darling, if you wanted an education. Financial aid will pay for you, trust me, the government loves throwing money at people like us. Trust me, you're a beautiful girl, and you'd have it made with me, I wouldn't waste a penny on anything but what we need to stay alive, and what you need to make you happy. You're the one who makes me happy. You don't understand that do you?
I don't want to give my money to other shits in this world when I could be paying our rent. I don't even want to pay MY rent. Only OURs. I want to be with you forever don't you see? I'm never going to let go...even if you already did a year past.