Idol.
Because I watch Majusuka Gakuen episode 7, which is about Choukoku
And senbatsu election makes everybody worried.
I think a lot.
But I never really say anything out loud about my idol.
But I feel like I NEED to since recently there are many things make me uncomfortable.
Warning: Contain spoiler for episode 7 of Mjsk2.
:::::::::::::::::::::
Ironically, my idol is most well-known for her scandal.
She let an old man stay over at her house.
And she resigned as captain.
And it was all over national news.
It was more than half a year ago, but nothing will ever be the same again.
I'm always proud of my idol, even when people said she's a stain on AKB image and she'll never be forgiven for that.
But I know my idol will be alright with her place in her group, because she's needed.
I'm pretty sure Choukoku in season 2 was written just for her.
Everybody said “Team K captain can only be Sayaka.”
And everybody congratulated her when she regained that captain title again.
I also congratulated her because that means now she can officially be credited for what she does.
But did anybody ever ask what does it means being a captain in the first place?
Being a captain doesn’t bring her into senbatsu.
Being a captain doesn’t give her any more screentime.
Being a captain doesn’t help her from not standing alone in handshake events.
Being a captain only gives her more work to do during practices.
Being a captain only gives her more responsibility to take.
Being a captain only gives her a chance to be told she’s the least popular member yet she’s a captain.
Then why being a captain?
Because members need her.
Because obviously management needs her to take that position.
And being a captain means that much to her.
Her existence is needed.
But have you ever ask,
Does she really want being a captain?
Is she really happy being a captain?
I don’t know. Obviously we don’t know.
I just knows Yuka and Sae said when Sayaka is in DiVA, when she’s not a leader, she’s much more relax and happy. She can always acts as she wants, being lazy, being selfish, being a spoiled child and being a normal weak girl like who she really is.
Being needed gives people strength to achieve their goal.
But being needed is also a burden.
When Majisuka 2 episode 7 aired with the title “Who are you fighting for?”
It’s obviously directed to Center and her growing process of becoming a true top leader.
It’s meaningless when you’re fighting just for the sake of fighting and winning.
But hardly anybody pay attention to Choukoku’s reason to fight though.
Choukoku doesn’t want to fight.
But she doesn’t have any choice.
If she doesn’t fight, her mother is dead.
If she fights and wins, she’s a traitor.
In both case, she’s still a loser. And it’s still painful.
Her mother needs her. And it gives her strength to fight.
But wining doesn’t necessarily means happiness.
DiVA debuted. Sae is almost center. Yuka has a clearly huge push.
I understand why.
And I didn’t really ask why Sayaka doesn’t have much spotlight or why she's not center even when she's clearly has a huge part in the creation of DiVA.
I understand business.
But from the moment they sent those 3 people to cheer her for the Tokyo Marathon, I already felt there was something not right. Until I watched the PV making of.
Yuka and Sae did say one thing.
“Sayaka, tomorrow, Tokyo Marathon, try your best! If you don’t finish the race, this unit won’t happen! We count on you!”
I'm sure Sae and Yuka just joked.
But seeing how Sayaka's feet was bandaged and she’s almost unable to move, for the first time in my life I really hate how she’s being needed.
She caused the trouble. She needed to take responsibility. But I don’t like how she’s the only one who needed to pay for it and it was used to be a push for another thing as well.
And I really hate to think about what would have happened if she hadn’t finished the race.
Obviously they still let them debut (who are you kidding, it’s business! They've been preparing for months!) but I guess they won’t get that much free promotion from her scandal. And obviously Sayaka’d once again be the one to blame for. Not by anybody, but herself.
I don’t even want to think about how much pressure she must have felt at that period of time.
It must have been one kind of a hell, both physical and mental.
Being needed sometimes only brings sorrows.
But the only thing she has now is being needed.
Sayaka is well-known.
But she’s not popular.
I remember in an interview, AkiP did say once:
“I don’t want AKB48 to be just highly recognized. I want AKB48 to be loved among their fans.”
Yes. Well-known and popular are two different things.
But what happens to Sayaka now is completely opposite to how AkiP wants his idols to be.
She’s regular on one of the most famous TV show.
She’s guest on at least one TV show every week.
She’s complimented for her variety ability.
She’s highly praised for her acting in musical.
She’s famous for her singing in AKB.
Her scandal made her face and name appeared on almost every morning news for almost a week.
To be honest, I don’t think she’s shafted. I think she’s been treating hella good compared to girls in the same popularity ranks. I can pretty say, if there’s any one who may have a future in showbiz world after AKB, Sayaka is one of them.
But she never sell out her lines in handshake events.
Even when it’s just an event with 4 DiVA members, she’s the only one doesn’t sell out any line.
A fan wrote letter to her telling how happy he was because her photos are so cheap, no one wants to buy them.
She hardly has any fans wrote mail to her radio show with Sae.
Her mixi ranking keeps going down and down.
Fans of other girls keep asking “Why is she unpopular but she keeps having so many jobs?” And so goes the story “She must sleep with someone again!”
In Entertainment magazine few months ago, they had a chart collected data from 100000 people aged from 10s to 70s.
Sayaka always in top 10 well-known members of AKB at all ages.
But when they're ask about members they're interested in (want to see, want to hear, want to read about), Sayaka is the member with the lowest rank among members whom general public knows.
And in the entertainer general chart, she's in the middle of the "star-zone" (Acchan, Tomochin, Mariko...) and the "out-dated-zone" (Morning Musume. aka everybody knows but no ones cares about anymore.)
If the amount of work you have rises together with ur popularity, there’s no problem.
But at one point, it seems like no matter what she does or says, it will never be enough.
I feels like it’s always the same: ”Oh, I know her. She’s good. So? I don’t care.”
The manager at the boxing club said to Choukoku:
“This world is really easy to understand. When there’s need for you, there’s money. When there’s no need for you, there’s no money.”
On Ukkari Channel, when talking about how she was informed about DiVA.
Sayaka said that for one moment, she thought they would tell her to graduate.
On AKBINGO! she said that recently she kept having dreams so she looked up its meaning.
The result: insecure.
I don’t know how she thinks or feels. But I think, for all this time, while she always smiled and said “I’m alright, I have to try harder!” she can never get the thought of being kicked out and not being needed anymore out of her mind.
People said that she’s weak and she’s not mentally strong enough to be a captain. Because she will break down right away whenever there’s sth happens.
Personally I think she’s a really strong person.
Not many people can stand through that scandal and how her career is not as peaceful as many others just because she’s different.
But it would be really sad if she only feels the value of her existence through how much she’s needed and carries the burden on her own.
To some people, senbatsu election is a way to show management who is popular and it means to define the girls’ future.
Personally I think senbatsu election is a way to show them how we love them.
In Waratte Iitomo studio talk, when they talk about senbatsu election, one of the regular did say:
“It would be really bad if you have many works but ur rank goes down.“
“But having many works also makes fans not voting for you. They would be like ‘She’s okay even if I don’t vote for her’ so they will vote for someone else.”
Who are we kidding? If management want to push, even if your girl is 100th, they still push. If not, even of she’s number 1, she’s still not center. Election is absolutely not a way to secure ur girl's career.
But being ranked means she’s loved.
To be honest, I’m okay with Sayaka not selected in senbatsu for all other singles.
While I’m not okay with her standing alone in handshake events.
But only for this election single, I want her to ranked in senbatsu.
Not because I want haters to “Shut up! See she’s not unpopular!”
Or because I wanted to see her in 0,3 second standing back-dancing at the last row.
You said Sayaka oshi are most annoying people.
“What are you complained about when your oshi was treated this good? And her future are pretty secured?”
I guess you will never understand this feeling because oshi is popular and she never has to stands alone in the lines looking people queuing to see your friends.
I guess you will never understand this feeling because when your oshi doesn’t have much exposure, you will never have to deal with the fact that even when she has this much exposure, she’s still unpopular.
I guess you will never understand this feeling because when your oshi is talented but she’s shafted, you will never have to deal with the fact even when she’s complimented for her abilities, people still don’t care about that.
I always remember how Sayaka said in one Waratte Iitomo studio talk:
- Doesn’t being 17th mean you’re always at the very back?
- Yes, but I always try dancing with my arms open wide. Because I think there’s still people who wants to see me.
Because I want her to know for sure.
People wants to see her there for who she is.
Not people wants to see her there for what she can do to others.
She’s not just there because she’s needed.
She’s there because she’s loved.
And senbatsu election makes everybody worried.
I think a lot.
But I never really say anything out loud about my idol.
But I feel like I NEED to since recently there are many things make me uncomfortable.
Warning: Contain spoiler for episode 7 of Mjsk2.
:::::::::::::::::::::
Ironically, my idol is most well-known for her scandal.
She let an old man stay over at her house.
And she resigned as captain.
And it was all over national news.
It was more than half a year ago, but nothing will ever be the same again.
I'm always proud of my idol, even when people said she's a stain on AKB image and she'll never be forgiven for that.
But I know my idol will be alright with her place in her group, because she's needed.
I'm pretty sure Choukoku in season 2 was written just for her.
Everybody said “Team K captain can only be Sayaka.”
And everybody congratulated her when she regained that captain title again.
I also congratulated her because that means now she can officially be credited for what she does.
But did anybody ever ask what does it means being a captain in the first place?
Being a captain doesn’t bring her into senbatsu.
Being a captain doesn’t give her any more screentime.
Being a captain doesn’t help her from not standing alone in handshake events.
Being a captain only gives her more work to do during practices.
Being a captain only gives her more responsibility to take.
Being a captain only gives her a chance to be told she’s the least popular member yet she’s a captain.
Then why being a captain?
Because members need her.
Because obviously management needs her to take that position.
And being a captain means that much to her.
Her existence is needed.
But have you ever ask,
Does she really want being a captain?
Is she really happy being a captain?
I don’t know. Obviously we don’t know.
I just knows Yuka and Sae said when Sayaka is in DiVA, when she’s not a leader, she’s much more relax and happy. She can always acts as she wants, being lazy, being selfish, being a spoiled child and being a normal weak girl like who she really is.
Being needed gives people strength to achieve their goal.
But being needed is also a burden.
When Majisuka 2 episode 7 aired with the title “Who are you fighting for?”
It’s obviously directed to Center and her growing process of becoming a true top leader.
It’s meaningless when you’re fighting just for the sake of fighting and winning.
But hardly anybody pay attention to Choukoku’s reason to fight though.
Choukoku doesn’t want to fight.
But she doesn’t have any choice.
If she doesn’t fight, her mother is dead.
If she fights and wins, she’s a traitor.
In both case, she’s still a loser. And it’s still painful.
Her mother needs her. And it gives her strength to fight.
But wining doesn’t necessarily means happiness.
DiVA debuted. Sae is almost center. Yuka has a clearly huge push.
I understand why.
And I didn’t really ask why Sayaka doesn’t have much spotlight or why she's not center even when she's clearly has a huge part in the creation of DiVA.
I understand business.
But from the moment they sent those 3 people to cheer her for the Tokyo Marathon, I already felt there was something not right. Until I watched the PV making of.
Yuka and Sae did say one thing.
“Sayaka, tomorrow, Tokyo Marathon, try your best! If you don’t finish the race, this unit won’t happen! We count on you!”
I'm sure Sae and Yuka just joked.
But seeing how Sayaka's feet was bandaged and she’s almost unable to move, for the first time in my life I really hate how she’s being needed.
She caused the trouble. She needed to take responsibility. But I don’t like how she’s the only one who needed to pay for it and it was used to be a push for another thing as well.
And I really hate to think about what would have happened if she hadn’t finished the race.
Obviously they still let them debut (who are you kidding, it’s business! They've been preparing for months!) but I guess they won’t get that much free promotion from her scandal. And obviously Sayaka’d once again be the one to blame for. Not by anybody, but herself.
I don’t even want to think about how much pressure she must have felt at that period of time.
It must have been one kind of a hell, both physical and mental.
Being needed sometimes only brings sorrows.
But the only thing she has now is being needed.
Sayaka is well-known.
But she’s not popular.
I remember in an interview, AkiP did say once:
“I don’t want AKB48 to be just highly recognized. I want AKB48 to be loved among their fans.”
Yes. Well-known and popular are two different things.
But what happens to Sayaka now is completely opposite to how AkiP wants his idols to be.
She’s regular on one of the most famous TV show.
She’s guest on at least one TV show every week.
She’s complimented for her variety ability.
She’s highly praised for her acting in musical.
She’s famous for her singing in AKB.
Her scandal made her face and name appeared on almost every morning news for almost a week.
To be honest, I don’t think she’s shafted. I think she’s been treating hella good compared to girls in the same popularity ranks. I can pretty say, if there’s any one who may have a future in showbiz world after AKB, Sayaka is one of them.
But she never sell out her lines in handshake events.
Even when it’s just an event with 4 DiVA members, she’s the only one doesn’t sell out any line.
A fan wrote letter to her telling how happy he was because her photos are so cheap, no one wants to buy them.
She hardly has any fans wrote mail to her radio show with Sae.
Her mixi ranking keeps going down and down.
Fans of other girls keep asking “Why is she unpopular but she keeps having so many jobs?” And so goes the story “She must sleep with someone again!”
In Entertainment magazine few months ago, they had a chart collected data from 100000 people aged from 10s to 70s.
Sayaka always in top 10 well-known members of AKB at all ages.
But when they're ask about members they're interested in (want to see, want to hear, want to read about), Sayaka is the member with the lowest rank among members whom general public knows.
And in the entertainer general chart, she's in the middle of the "star-zone" (Acchan, Tomochin, Mariko...) and the "out-dated-zone" (Morning Musume. aka everybody knows but no ones cares about anymore.)
If the amount of work you have rises together with ur popularity, there’s no problem.
But at one point, it seems like no matter what she does or says, it will never be enough.
I feels like it’s always the same: ”Oh, I know her. She’s good. So? I don’t care.”
The manager at the boxing club said to Choukoku:
“This world is really easy to understand. When there’s need for you, there’s money. When there’s no need for you, there’s no money.”
On Ukkari Channel, when talking about how she was informed about DiVA.
Sayaka said that for one moment, she thought they would tell her to graduate.
On AKBINGO! she said that recently she kept having dreams so she looked up its meaning.
The result: insecure.
I don’t know how she thinks or feels. But I think, for all this time, while she always smiled and said “I’m alright, I have to try harder!” she can never get the thought of being kicked out and not being needed anymore out of her mind.
People said that she’s weak and she’s not mentally strong enough to be a captain. Because she will break down right away whenever there’s sth happens.
Personally I think she’s a really strong person.
Not many people can stand through that scandal and how her career is not as peaceful as many others just because she’s different.
But it would be really sad if she only feels the value of her existence through how much she’s needed and carries the burden on her own.
To some people, senbatsu election is a way to show management who is popular and it means to define the girls’ future.
Personally I think senbatsu election is a way to show them how we love them.
In Waratte Iitomo studio talk, when they talk about senbatsu election, one of the regular did say:
“It would be really bad if you have many works but ur rank goes down.“
“But having many works also makes fans not voting for you. They would be like ‘She’s okay even if I don’t vote for her’ so they will vote for someone else.”
Who are we kidding? If management want to push, even if your girl is 100th, they still push. If not, even of she’s number 1, she’s still not center. Election is absolutely not a way to secure ur girl's career.
But being ranked means she’s loved.
To be honest, I’m okay with Sayaka not selected in senbatsu for all other singles.
While I’m not okay with her standing alone in handshake events.
But only for this election single, I want her to ranked in senbatsu.
Not because I want haters to “Shut up! See she’s not unpopular!”
Or because I wanted to see her in 0,3 second standing back-dancing at the last row.
You said Sayaka oshi are most annoying people.
“What are you complained about when your oshi was treated this good? And her future are pretty secured?”
I guess you will never understand this feeling because oshi is popular and she never has to stands alone in the lines looking people queuing to see your friends.
I guess you will never understand this feeling because when your oshi doesn’t have much exposure, you will never have to deal with the fact that even when she has this much exposure, she’s still unpopular.
I guess you will never understand this feeling because when your oshi is talented but she’s shafted, you will never have to deal with the fact even when she’s complimented for her abilities, people still don’t care about that.
I always remember how Sayaka said in one Waratte Iitomo studio talk:
- Doesn’t being 17th mean you’re always at the very back?
- Yes, but I always try dancing with my arms open wide. Because I think there’s still people who wants to see me.
Because I want her to know for sure.
People wants to see her there for who she is.
Not people wants to see her there for what she can do to others.
She’s not just there because she’s needed.
She’s there because she’s loved.