(no subject)
its been awhile....well i fixed my car. it cost me $176 and some cents....i was PISSED. but my car is better now. and has ANYONE seen the gas prices lately??? im riding my bike wherever i go from now on is all ive got to say. cuz im too poor to drive now lol.
my cat is licking my arm...i dont see what is so great about it. but she does it every time im on this computer...i must taste good or something lol. thats dirty..yuck.
but anywho...im cleaning...how do you like that? i NEVER clean anymore. unless its not my room which doesnt make sense because i LOVE when my room is clean i just hate getting it clean ya know? its soooo repetitive...pick things up...stash them somewhere...throw this away. stack that...dust that. ugh. im a pack rat so i find it hard to actually throw things away really. but im trying pretty hard right now. my closet is really whats killing me. i have no room in there to throw the things i want to stash so i have to find somewhere else to put it and then i forget where that place is. cuz before i just knew it was somewhere in my closet but now i have so much clothes that i dont know where to put anything anymore. its horrible lol. i need to give some of my clothes to goodwill or something. theyre nice clothes i just dont wear them anymore. i wear things twice and then never again unless i really like it. i should fix that right? lol. im too poor to buy any more new clothes anyway so i should just start wearing everything again.
heres some news. ive decided to be a vegetarian. how cool is that? well see if i can actually do it. its been 3 days now since ive eaten meat. and i havent really even thought about it so i think ill be ok lol. but ill sure be proud of myself if i can make for some extended amount of time like a month or more ya know? that would be raelly cool...ill finally have proof of my self-control. i dont have much of it i know that. well i guess it depends what its about. men? no self-control. a little...if i really dont like them...lol. but the one that i love? absolutely NO self-control. i will do ANYTHING for him. its sad really. but i think youre supposed to want to do anything for the one you love...i wish he would do anything for me. i should find some secret way to test that. cuz he really does do just about everything i want him to. except for when i say hey id appreciate it if you quit this whole 'lets date other people' phase youre going through because my heart is being stomped and spit on every time i see you. every time i smell you. every time i hear your voice. its sooo painful...but icant let go of him. i love him too much. and i find it too painful to even tell him how i feel so this has been going on for a long time. i need help. i know he loves me. he wouldnt say it if he didnt because thats just who he is. he doesnt even tell his mom he loves her and i know he does obviously. but he tells me because he does love me. Does that make sense to anyone? it makes perfect sense to me but i guess thats just in my head. but hes taking me on a 'date' if you will this thursday. were gunna go see a movie. im pretty excited. i never get to go to movies anymore cuz im so broke lol. i would marry him if he asked me....i really would. i have never loved someone and trusted someone as much as i love and trust him. no matter how upset i am he mends my pain and hurt just by rocking me in his arms...how is it that the scent of him makes me hurt...but the only way ill feel better is to be in his arms? if someone can explain this phenomena to me id be really appreciative. i mean really. how does that work. ok off this subject. actually i think ill go back to cleaning and blasting my music and dancing and singing to myself lol. amanda likes that dontcha? lol. i know you do. love love. until next time.
my cat is licking my arm...i dont see what is so great about it. but she does it every time im on this computer...i must taste good or something lol. thats dirty..yuck.
but anywho...im cleaning...how do you like that? i NEVER clean anymore. unless its not my room which doesnt make sense because i LOVE when my room is clean i just hate getting it clean ya know? its soooo repetitive...pick things up...stash them somewhere...throw this away. stack that...dust that. ugh. im a pack rat so i find it hard to actually throw things away really. but im trying pretty hard right now. my closet is really whats killing me. i have no room in there to throw the things i want to stash so i have to find somewhere else to put it and then i forget where that place is. cuz before i just knew it was somewhere in my closet but now i have so much clothes that i dont know where to put anything anymore. its horrible lol. i need to give some of my clothes to goodwill or something. theyre nice clothes i just dont wear them anymore. i wear things twice and then never again unless i really like it. i should fix that right? lol. im too poor to buy any more new clothes anyway so i should just start wearing everything again.
heres some news. ive decided to be a vegetarian. how cool is that? well see if i can actually do it. its been 3 days now since ive eaten meat. and i havent really even thought about it so i think ill be ok lol. but ill sure be proud of myself if i can make for some extended amount of time like a month or more ya know? that would be raelly cool...ill finally have proof of my self-control. i dont have much of it i know that. well i guess it depends what its about. men? no self-control. a little...if i really dont like them...lol. but the one that i love? absolutely NO self-control. i will do ANYTHING for him. its sad really. but i think youre supposed to want to do anything for the one you love...i wish he would do anything for me. i should find some secret way to test that. cuz he really does do just about everything i want him to. except for when i say hey id appreciate it if you quit this whole 'lets date other people' phase youre going through because my heart is being stomped and spit on every time i see you. every time i smell you. every time i hear your voice. its sooo painful...but icant let go of him. i love him too much. and i find it too painful to even tell him how i feel so this has been going on for a long time. i need help. i know he loves me. he wouldnt say it if he didnt because thats just who he is. he doesnt even tell his mom he loves her and i know he does obviously. but he tells me because he does love me. Does that make sense to anyone? it makes perfect sense to me but i guess thats just in my head. but hes taking me on a 'date' if you will this thursday. were gunna go see a movie. im pretty excited. i never get to go to movies anymore cuz im so broke lol. i would marry him if he asked me....i really would. i have never loved someone and trusted someone as much as i love and trust him. no matter how upset i am he mends my pain and hurt just by rocking me in his arms...how is it that the scent of him makes me hurt...but the only way ill feel better is to be in his arms? if someone can explain this phenomena to me id be really appreciative. i mean really. how does that work. ok off this subject. actually i think ill go back to cleaning and blasting my music and dancing and singing to myself lol. amanda likes that dontcha? lol. i know you do. love love. until next time.