I wish you would dare to walk me home. I don't wanna fight the world alone.
I feel...deflated. It’s just been kind of a down weekend. Friday came with some unfortunate family drama that I don’t want to reveal here as it relates to my mom but it really sucked. I hate drama with my parents, it doesn’t come up often but it hurts when it does.
Uh oh, vertigo. Weird. The room is spinning. Okay, that passed.
Saturday afternoon was good. I went to a protest at the Legislature, demonstrating against all the health cuts. There was probably like 500 people. It was intense. Fuck, I love activism! Even in Alberta. And Jen got me a Milk poster!
That reminds me, I’ve been getting a lot of random feedback on my last few columns and people are really receptive and pleased. This isn’t friends but random acquaintances and readers, so that’s neat.
I guess why I’m down is because in the small span of last week, I developed two new crushes. Or got one and severely increased another. And for some reason I got it in my head that one of them was headed somewhere. I realize basing so much on one night is stupid, but it was just...a great night. I haven’t had that much fun just talking to someone for hours and hours (until 8am!) in such a long time. And I let myself feel really into it all week.
Then it just kind of died. She replied less and less to me and then all but ignored me at the bar. She wasn’t rude or anything but she was back to acting like where we had been a month ago, totally disregarding the one awesome night.
I don’t get it. I guess I was too aggressive. Like, not flirting or anything, but just saying too much. What a lame way to push someone away.
I did have an okay time at the bar with Jaime, Jen, Chris and Kevin. We went to Buddy’s but got bored and went to Play. And it was fun, but I had three crushes there and they were all acting weirdly aloof. There’s the one that always does but combined with the other two, I was noticing a very definable trend. It used to be that the girls that I liked romantically, just liked me as a friend. Now they don’t even want that.
It’s disheartening to say the least. And confusing since the signals I was getting before were positive. I don’t get it.
I saw Carrie’s girlfriend at Play and that was strange. We hugged, like we’re friends. But we’re not. She was there with Sam and I still hate Sam for driving a wedge between Carrie and I and then Erica and I. Looking at Sam and Chelsey and thinking about Carrie, I just felt sad.
Parts of it were a fun night though. I just wish I could get the cloud of longing away from my heart. I start to wonder why I got rid of Erica if I was just going to find another girl to cause myself pain over.
By the way, funny thing, I decided to make a list of my crushes because it feels like it’s gotten so ridiculously insane and it’s actually only like 6 or 7. Seems like more.
The same thing that came up on Friday came up again today. Happy mother’s day. And our meal was totally fucked over at Original Joe’s.
This week will be lonely and long. My parents leave town tomorrow and I’m not looking forward to the lack of a ride to work. I’m trying to plan a party for Friday. An army themed party. But with my sad state of affairs, will I even enjoy it?
Also, thanks to Corrin’s love of Facebook stalking, we now know that Elysia randomly had a child. And may be married. And almost no one knew. WTF? Wtf.
Lastly, I finally took the plunge and wore my Tegan shoes out of the house on Saturday. And they are SO FUCKING comfortable. Macbeths are like converses, if converses were comfy. Loooove them!
Also, I adore Pretty Reckless. I do I do.
Uh oh, vertigo. Weird. The room is spinning. Okay, that passed.
Saturday afternoon was good. I went to a protest at the Legislature, demonstrating against all the health cuts. There was probably like 500 people. It was intense. Fuck, I love activism! Even in Alberta. And Jen got me a Milk poster!
That reminds me, I’ve been getting a lot of random feedback on my last few columns and people are really receptive and pleased. This isn’t friends but random acquaintances and readers, so that’s neat.
I guess why I’m down is because in the small span of last week, I developed two new crushes. Or got one and severely increased another. And for some reason I got it in my head that one of them was headed somewhere. I realize basing so much on one night is stupid, but it was just...a great night. I haven’t had that much fun just talking to someone for hours and hours (until 8am!) in such a long time. And I let myself feel really into it all week.
Then it just kind of died. She replied less and less to me and then all but ignored me at the bar. She wasn’t rude or anything but she was back to acting like where we had been a month ago, totally disregarding the one awesome night.
I don’t get it. I guess I was too aggressive. Like, not flirting or anything, but just saying too much. What a lame way to push someone away.
I did have an okay time at the bar with Jaime, Jen, Chris and Kevin. We went to Buddy’s but got bored and went to Play. And it was fun, but I had three crushes there and they were all acting weirdly aloof. There’s the one that always does but combined with the other two, I was noticing a very definable trend. It used to be that the girls that I liked romantically, just liked me as a friend. Now they don’t even want that.
It’s disheartening to say the least. And confusing since the signals I was getting before were positive. I don’t get it.
I saw Carrie’s girlfriend at Play and that was strange. We hugged, like we’re friends. But we’re not. She was there with Sam and I still hate Sam for driving a wedge between Carrie and I and then Erica and I. Looking at Sam and Chelsey and thinking about Carrie, I just felt sad.
Parts of it were a fun night though. I just wish I could get the cloud of longing away from my heart. I start to wonder why I got rid of Erica if I was just going to find another girl to cause myself pain over.
By the way, funny thing, I decided to make a list of my crushes because it feels like it’s gotten so ridiculously insane and it’s actually only like 6 or 7. Seems like more.
The same thing that came up on Friday came up again today. Happy mother’s day. And our meal was totally fucked over at Original Joe’s.
This week will be lonely and long. My parents leave town tomorrow and I’m not looking forward to the lack of a ride to work. I’m trying to plan a party for Friday. An army themed party. But with my sad state of affairs, will I even enjoy it?
Also, thanks to Corrin’s love of Facebook stalking, we now know that Elysia randomly had a child. And may be married. And almost no one knew. WTF? Wtf.
Lastly, I finally took the plunge and wore my Tegan shoes out of the house on Saturday. And they are SO FUCKING comfortable. Macbeths are like converses, if converses were comfy. Loooove them!
Also, I adore Pretty Reckless. I do I do.