WiSh I kNeW..-

[bamacutie101]

sometimes.. life sucks!! i mean its like one minute everything great.. then the next everything (and i mean everything) is.. just totally screwed.. why is that?? i mean.. i dont know.. i just wish everything would go right.. i mean like today out of NO-WHERE i just started thinking about Joseph.. and how i missed him.. but then like 5 seconds later.. i was like.. omg have i lost my mind?? he treated me like crap! and didnt care about me or anything.. how could i miss him?? and plus i have Jared.. hes the greatest and most perfectest boyfriend ever.. but still.. i mean i loved Joseph.. and i think he loved me.. (to a point anyway) but still... i mean it was completely out of the blue.. i dont know why i started thinking about him and missing him.. but its like.. have you ever had something.. and didnt realize how much it meant to you.. then you lost it (purposely or not..) you knew were so much better off with out it.. but then one day out of the blue you just want it back.. reguardless of anything else.. but nothing you could do or say could ever bring it back..? its so weird.. this never happened with chris.. i mean chris was the first guy i really loved and everything.. but i mean.. i dont know.. its weird.. i mean.. i think chris is like the biggest jerk ever.. i know alot of yall have heard the story.. but for those who dont know about it.. well to make a long story short.. one night he was all.. i love you so much.. then the next night he got "grounded" and when i found out he wasnt.. he stoped lying and was like "i have a new g/f.. i have been cheatin on you.. i never really loved you.. i wanna be with her not you.." i cryed soooo much!! but the truth is.. if i didnt have Jared.. i'd take him back in a heart beat.. i could sit here and deny it all day.. but honestly and as much as i wouldnt want too.. if it wasnt for Jared.. i would ........... wow anyways..... lol sometimes i hate kingwood.. sometimes i dont.. like today.. it was an okay and everything but w/e........... maybe its just me.. but is it weird for like someone you think you know pretty well.. to tell you they cant stand someone.. then the next month they are all best friends.. and they're totally like blowing you off? i mean maybe its just me.. i dont know but i mean.. it just seems kinda strange to me........ but if they wanna be like that.. then whatever.. it shows what kind of "friends" they were to begin with... but anyways.. gah everything been sooo stressfull lately! the science fair was friday.. saturday i didnt feel good lol.. then on sunday we went out to eat with marks family.. then i had practice at 3:30 then church started at like 5:30.. the youth got to lead the service! it was so awesome!~ but yeah.. i sang in the choir and the ensamble thingie with elizabeth, lauren, hannah, amanda, and deeana! it was so much fun!~ then this satuday is the big competition!!! i cant wait! were all goin shoppin this friday! lol well me lauren amanda and elizabeth i think lol but yeah.. then we had this dna thingie due today.. and we have a english paper due sometime soon i think.. im not sure lol but yeah.. then i have voice lessons tomorrow.. church wensday.. praise and worship band practice thursday.. *i think i can go.. finally!* its been like FOREVER since i have been to practice but yeah maybe i'll get to go thursday.. then friday we are goin shoppin after school.... then ummm saturday is the competition.. the bus is leave at FREAKIN 6:30 in tha morning!! thats waaaaaaaaayy too early for me!! lol so ima try to be there at like 5:50 lol but yeah.. idk lol then sunday.. idk what were doin.. probably just choir practice and church i guess.. idk lol but yeah.. well i guess im gonna go.. lol wow i talked about alot of stuff up there.. now if anyone actually read it.. i'd be shocked.. but yeah.. well i guess im gonna go.. i'll write again later.. i love *U*
call me..
**9*0*8*~*4*4*3*5**
~Jordin~
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