broken...
it is so hard to explain the realization of getting to the point where i've realized that when i have to come to God with something, i can't just give part of it or some of it when i feel like it, but i have trust in Him ALL of the time with ALL of the situation. my flesh wants to take control and make everything perfect and right and stubbornly push ahead until i can't go on, but then God whispers in ways only He can through lyrics of a song i've heard numerous times or a friend's advice or a verse i read differently than any time before. and when He gives me these precious reminders, i wonder why i haven't fully relied on Him all along like i had myself convinced i was doing.
with a broken and hurt heart, i wept at His feet admitting i'd follow whatever the cost and not let what has happened and what is yet to come keep me from keeping my eyes solely focused on Christ. what an unbelievable blessing of surrender it was to just forget all the mess and fighting and drama, and even all of the busy-ness of life and just confess that i didn't know anything else to do but completely depend on God and His mercy and grace and have faith that He will give me the wisdom and guidance i am seeking.
"I stand with arms high
and heart abandoned
in awe of the One
who gave it all.
I'll stand my soul,
Lord to You surrendered
All I am is Yours"
- "The Stand" Hillsong
"Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer." - Romans 12:12
with a broken and hurt heart, i wept at His feet admitting i'd follow whatever the cost and not let what has happened and what is yet to come keep me from keeping my eyes solely focused on Christ. what an unbelievable blessing of surrender it was to just forget all the mess and fighting and drama, and even all of the busy-ness of life and just confess that i didn't know anything else to do but completely depend on God and His mercy and grace and have faith that He will give me the wisdom and guidance i am seeking.
"I stand with arms high
and heart abandoned
in awe of the One
who gave it all.
I'll stand my soul,
Lord to You surrendered
All I am is Yours"
- "The Stand" Hillsong
"Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer." - Romans 12:12