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Hi it's Audre I'm back! I also bring with me the next part in my 'Somebody Told Me' Fic The other parts are here if you miss one: http://www.livejournal.com/community/bam_ryan_otp/202266.html#cutid1
Someone To Hear Him When He Cries
I couldn’t believe that you left; I didn’t think that it was actually happening. I’m sitting here on the cold bathroom floor, all alone and staring at wall. The floor is littered with shards of glass from the vanity minor that I broke. There was a devastating crash,- it could have woke the dead- but did anyone come to see what was wrong? No, no one came. You left me all alone to fucking rot and no one else seems to give a fuck. I’d give anything to have you back with me. So I’m sitting here all alone, looking at how fucked up my life has become… it’s gone from a high to an all time low. I know your not coming back- not that it does me any good. I reach for one of the broken pieces on the floor. I carefully pick it up, trying not to cut my fingers. I cradle the sharp piece in my palm. I look at my reflection in it. My eyes are puffy and blood shot from too much crying and not enough sleep. My face is also red and tear stained. My hair is greasy and dirty because I haven’t washed it God only knows how long.
I pick the piece of glass back up with a finger on both sides to grip it. I turn it in the light and watch the jagged edges catch the light. I pressed the edge to my wrist very quickly. I didn’t really realize what it was I was doing until the blood started flowing down my wrist. The blood like my tears flows down my wrist in neat tracks, blood slipped down my arms and began to slowly dot the floor…
*BANG*
I bolted upright, and it takes a couple of seconds to realize where I am. I’m sitting up in bed in my room; there’s no broken glass, no blood. I’ve been dreaming. Lightning cracks and I realize that it is now storming outside my window, that’s what woke me up, the thunder. It was just a dream. I run my fingers though my hair and take deep shaky breaths. I know it was just a dream but I can’t stop shaking and sweating. Then I feel them, your hands on my lower back pulling my close to you. You're sitting up next to me; maybe the thunder woke you too. I wrap my arms around you and you pull me closer, I know I’m crying now but I really don’t give a shit.
“It was just a dream, just a really bad dream. It’s ok you’re safe now, I’m here.” You whisper. Your hands are rubbing my back in a slowly, trying to calm me down. That’s just what I wanted to hear; I needed to hear that you’re here.
“You didn’t want me.” I sob.
“What?” You whisper rubbing my back.
“In the dream, you didn’t want me. You were with someone else and I kissed you and you didn’t kiss me back. You left me all alone, you said it wouldn’t work…”
“Oh Baby,” you whisper and pull me closer; you don’t say anything, you just hold me and right now that’s more real than words.
“You left me all alone, and there wasn’t anybody to help me... I was all alone.” I continue.
“Shhh.” You whisper and your arms tighten around me. “It’ll never happen, I love you more then anyone or anything. I’m never going to leave you, you know that right?”
I nodded against your chest, “I know.”
“I can’t leave you Bam; you’re everything. I’m not going anywhere.” You whisper.
I tighten my hold on you. It had seemed so real. My breathing becomes a little more even and I start to calm down. But you don’t let me go, you keep holding me. You always seem to know what I need. You pull me down to lay back on the bed, my head pillowed above your heart.
“I don’t know if I want to go back to sleep.” I say, dreading falling back into that dream or another one like it.
“You could come to dreamland with me.” You whisper tracing small patters on my arms with your fingers. I need that contact. I need to feel. I couldn’t feel anything in the dream.
I smile at the mention of Ape’s childhood saying. When I was little, she used to tell me that at night you’d get on a magic carpet and fly to the land where dreams are made and as you went you could pick anyone up that you wanted to take with you. She used to ask me what we, me, her, and my stuffed anima,l Dog, were going to do that night. Yeah that was his name. What can I say I wasn’t an original kid when it came to naming stuffed animals, but he was my first so at three Dog was the best that I could come up with.
“Are we going to fly on the magic carpet?” I ask smiling.
“Yeah, do you know another way to get there? Where do you want to go?” You ask pulling me closer.
“Where’d you go tonight?” I ask looking up into you’re eyes.
“I was on a beach.”
“Really? Did you take anybody with you?”
“Who’s the only person that I would want to be on a beach with?” You said pulling me in for a kiss. Our mouths slid together, it’s warm, wet, two sided, and in that moment I’m home. I’m always at home in your arms.
“I don’t care where we go…” I whisper when I’m forced to pull back for air, “as long as I’m with you. I don’t want to go where you don’t follow.”
“You’re not alone anymore Bam.” You whisper as you pull me back to you.
“I love you, Ryan.” I whisper.
“I love you too, Bam. See you on beach.”
I smile and close my eyes; the promise of a better dream and the sound of your even breathing pull me into a deep sleep.
TBC
I want to write Ryan and Bam’s dream, for my beta extraordinar since she has asked for beach smut. But I want to take a break from this fic, just for a little while. I’ve got plot bunnies out my ears. Also if anyone knows where I could find screen caps for the Jackass movie I would love you forever. Or if anyone would be kind enough to cap a part for me, I’d love that too. Let me know if you might be able to help.
Someone To Hear Him When He Cries
I couldn’t believe that you left; I didn’t think that it was actually happening. I’m sitting here on the cold bathroom floor, all alone and staring at wall. The floor is littered with shards of glass from the vanity minor that I broke. There was a devastating crash,- it could have woke the dead- but did anyone come to see what was wrong? No, no one came. You left me all alone to fucking rot and no one else seems to give a fuck. I’d give anything to have you back with me. So I’m sitting here all alone, looking at how fucked up my life has become… it’s gone from a high to an all time low. I know your not coming back- not that it does me any good. I reach for one of the broken pieces on the floor. I carefully pick it up, trying not to cut my fingers. I cradle the sharp piece in my palm. I look at my reflection in it. My eyes are puffy and blood shot from too much crying and not enough sleep. My face is also red and tear stained. My hair is greasy and dirty because I haven’t washed it God only knows how long.
I pick the piece of glass back up with a finger on both sides to grip it. I turn it in the light and watch the jagged edges catch the light. I pressed the edge to my wrist very quickly. I didn’t really realize what it was I was doing until the blood started flowing down my wrist. The blood like my tears flows down my wrist in neat tracks, blood slipped down my arms and began to slowly dot the floor…
*BANG*
I bolted upright, and it takes a couple of seconds to realize where I am. I’m sitting up in bed in my room; there’s no broken glass, no blood. I’ve been dreaming. Lightning cracks and I realize that it is now storming outside my window, that’s what woke me up, the thunder. It was just a dream. I run my fingers though my hair and take deep shaky breaths. I know it was just a dream but I can’t stop shaking and sweating. Then I feel them, your hands on my lower back pulling my close to you. You're sitting up next to me; maybe the thunder woke you too. I wrap my arms around you and you pull me closer, I know I’m crying now but I really don’t give a shit.
“It was just a dream, just a really bad dream. It’s ok you’re safe now, I’m here.” You whisper. Your hands are rubbing my back in a slowly, trying to calm me down. That’s just what I wanted to hear; I needed to hear that you’re here.
“You didn’t want me.” I sob.
“What?” You whisper rubbing my back.
“In the dream, you didn’t want me. You were with someone else and I kissed you and you didn’t kiss me back. You left me all alone, you said it wouldn’t work…”
“Oh Baby,” you whisper and pull me closer; you don’t say anything, you just hold me and right now that’s more real than words.
“You left me all alone, and there wasn’t anybody to help me... I was all alone.” I continue.
“Shhh.” You whisper and your arms tighten around me. “It’ll never happen, I love you more then anyone or anything. I’m never going to leave you, you know that right?”
I nodded against your chest, “I know.”
“I can’t leave you Bam; you’re everything. I’m not going anywhere.” You whisper.
I tighten my hold on you. It had seemed so real. My breathing becomes a little more even and I start to calm down. But you don’t let me go, you keep holding me. You always seem to know what I need. You pull me down to lay back on the bed, my head pillowed above your heart.
“I don’t know if I want to go back to sleep.” I say, dreading falling back into that dream or another one like it.
“You could come to dreamland with me.” You whisper tracing small patters on my arms with your fingers. I need that contact. I need to feel. I couldn’t feel anything in the dream.
I smile at the mention of Ape’s childhood saying. When I was little, she used to tell me that at night you’d get on a magic carpet and fly to the land where dreams are made and as you went you could pick anyone up that you wanted to take with you. She used to ask me what we, me, her, and my stuffed anima,l Dog, were going to do that night. Yeah that was his name. What can I say I wasn’t an original kid when it came to naming stuffed animals, but he was my first so at three Dog was the best that I could come up with.
“Are we going to fly on the magic carpet?” I ask smiling.
“Yeah, do you know another way to get there? Where do you want to go?” You ask pulling me closer.
“Where’d you go tonight?” I ask looking up into you’re eyes.
“I was on a beach.”
“Really? Did you take anybody with you?”
“Who’s the only person that I would want to be on a beach with?” You said pulling me in for a kiss. Our mouths slid together, it’s warm, wet, two sided, and in that moment I’m home. I’m always at home in your arms.
“I don’t care where we go…” I whisper when I’m forced to pull back for air, “as long as I’m with you. I don’t want to go where you don’t follow.”
“You’re not alone anymore Bam.” You whisper as you pull me back to you.
“I love you, Ryan.” I whisper.
“I love you too, Bam. See you on beach.”
I smile and close my eyes; the promise of a better dream and the sound of your even breathing pull me into a deep sleep.
TBC
I want to write Ryan and Bam’s dream, for my beta extraordinar since she has asked for beach smut. But I want to take a break from this fic, just for a little while. I’ve got plot bunnies out my ears. Also if anyone knows where I could find screen caps for the Jackass movie I would love you forever. Or if anyone would be kind enough to cap a part for me, I’d love that too. Let me know if you might be able to help.